Prisoner's toothpick replicas of Final Fantasy weapons

A prisoner in Wales made these astounding Final Fantasy weapons out of toothpicks, only to have them confiscated because they were so realistic that the prison authorities felt that they constituted a threat to safety. It's this kind of dogged, enthusiastic creativity that makes dinners with my Welsh in-laws so exciting!

Prisoner Builds Final Fantasy Swords out of Matchsticks (via Neatorama)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: maker • prison • uk • wales • weapons

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niktemadur

Too bad there’s not a real-size object to give a sense of scale.
- Just_Ok
  
  like a toothpick
  - niktemadur
    
    Haha, good one!
  - niktemadur
    
    How about an olive, or a little square of cheese?
    Or a tooth!
http://twitter.com/AnimalG Gary Franczyk

I’m surprised that all those years of playing Final Fantasy didn’t get him into Oxford. How did it all go so wrong?
Morkl

Picture in original story is not as cropped, and contains a stapler for scale: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3908486/Lags-cell-arsenal-made-from-tiny-sticks.html
- Just_Ok
  
  I was more impressed when I thought they were each carved from a single toothpick.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    I was more impressed when I thought they were each carved from a single toothpick.
    
    Or all carved from a single toothpick.
  - niktemadur
    
    My train of thought exactly, at the top of the thread.
    And I can’t see the full picture, as I’ve got the Murdoch Block extension installed in my browsers.
    Then a question came to mind – why would prison guards confiscate lilliputian weapons?
    
    But now that that’s been cleared up, the question arises – how does an inmate get so many toothpicks in his possession? Does he smuggle them into his cell, one at a time, after dinner?
- rabidpotatochip
  
  Yikes, according to that article they were actually deadly sharp. Kind of scared but impressed with his attention to detail at the same time.
toomuchtime

I’ve not played FF but I first thought the three swords on the left were from anime series. The reverse blade on the far left from Ruroni Kenshin and the next two being Zanpakuto from Bleach…
- http://twitter.com/bi0xid Rafa Poveda (RaveN)
  
  I came to say the same :P
John Ohno

Little did the guards know that they had, by doing this, foiled his elaborate plan to build a single real weapon and hide it amongst the elaborate but entirely nonfatal toothpick weapons so that when they least expected it he could escape double-wielding golden katanas made of tin foil and highlighter parts.
Into_anus

@Cory:disqus

Which is it, toothpicks or matchsticks ?
Ed Ligget. Tuba.

I love that the Buster Sword has materia in it. XD Looks like on support, one command, and one summon. Only problem, Cloud’s Buster Sword only had two slots, not three.
Oh wow…I need a life.
Skarphedin Njalsson

It also looks like he’s got Zabimaru and Zangetsu from Bleach in there.
http://twitter.com/UltimaBuddy H.

Either the guards are overreacting or just really genre-saavy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltuJsbOLGh0
redsrevenge

They were probably confiscated because not all the people who work in prisons are long lost grandchildren of Einstein.

Dillinger got out with a gun like piece of wood made black with shoe polish.

Virgil Starkwell got out with a similar looking gun made of soap (well for a while anyway).

Einstein may have seen through it but some of those guards are ex-bus drivers.

RR
cdh1971

Jailers are not the brightest bunch. Confiscating these flaccid tooth-pic creations looks a bit silly…I don’t often go to jail – but when I do, the jailers swiftly confiscate my cod-piece.
xenphilos

I just imagined a prisoner having a JRPG-like turn-based fight with a guard.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FKEQIJOZZZ6RSQ6RIKCGLIN6PQ visitken

Not toothpicks. Matchsticks. They’re different.
Jorpho

Yikes, according to that article they were actually deadly sharp.

That is clearly flagrant exaggeration on the part of someone down the chain. Maybe canonically they’re razor-sharp, but these replicas sure don’t look like anything of the kind.

Also, is that really the Buster Sword? The bright-red handle inspires vague recollections of some weapon from elsewhere that looked similar, but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.
AlexG55

In many British prisons inmates eat in their cells. I know this because there was a prisoner who managed to use torn-up strips of aluminium food trays, brown sauce (think something like A-1 steak sauce) and the power socket in his cell to electrolyse away the bars on the window. I think he boasted about it, though- the guards noticed when he was one bar short of being able to get out.