Newsweek's woes in a nutshell

At WWD, John Koblin takes a look at the troubles at Newsweek. You don't need to speculate much to figure out why, in an age of Wikileaks and the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street, of cameraphoned sic semper tyrannis and nuclear-armed theocracy, this particular news weekly is not working. You just need to look at the cover.

• [Rob Beschizza]

  Did you know that if Regis Philbin had a different middle name to the one he actual has, his name could be an anagram for “Rigor Mortice Philbns” and maybe some other words?

• [Spriggan_Prime]

  Not working is right, his show just ended!

  …oh I see what you meant… nevermind.

• [pahool]

  I just spent five minutes fruitlessly looking for differences between the two covers.

  • [Glen Able]

    Um yes…I think I’ve missed the point too.  Fortunately I have Photoshop to help me win in a Spot-the-Difference situation.

• [Curtis Corlew]

  OK. I hate it when I know I’m missing something obvious, so, help me out. What am I seeing (or in my case, missing) here?

• [Cocomaan]

  I remember that when we failed to renew Newsweek, we continued to get the magazine for almost a year. Great way to inflate your numbers before the next investor meeting.

• [jeffale]

  Is this from 1993?
   

• [Daniel]

  Oh no, problems at “Highlights for Liberals”!

• [theophrastvs]

  the 3d goggles….  they do nothing!

• [firefly the great]

  I just spent several minutes trying to figure out what decade this was from…

• [Lucas Powell]

  oh my god these people are old!

• [Rob Beschizza]

  OK God I changed the picture. HAPPY NOW?

• [royaltrux]

   I see what you mean. “Republicans are getting stupider” – Capt. Obvious called and he wants his headline back.

• [Awesomer]

  What’s wrong with that? Who doesn’t like Jerry? How can anybody not like Jerry?

  • [Brainspore]

    What’s wrong with that? Who doesn’t like Jerry?

    The problem is that he’s on the front cover of a magazine called “Newsweek,” not one called “Entertainmentnostalgiaweek.”

    • [Daniel]

      This should clarify some things.

    • [Awesomer]

      Thanks; I’d totally missed that, and my comment was meant to be taken literally and at face value. Just like this one.

      • [Brainspore]

        Daniel’s link cleared that up for me, sorry I missed the reference.

        • [Awesomer]

          No worries; missing a pop culture reference on an internet comment thread is hardly a venial sin. In any case, I realized my comment to you comes off as much nastier-sounding than I’d intended.

  • [Adam Koford]

    I don’t like Jerry. He’s 90% shirt jokes.

    • [Awesomer]

      I hear that. What is the deal with those shirt jokes? And what is the deal with observational comedy? Still, I repeat, how can anybody not like Jerry?

• [GuyInMilwaukee]

  The fact that Regis Philbin holds the Guinness World Record for the most time spent in front of a television camera proves that I never watched much of the teevee… or maybe he was just never on interesting shows.

• [Melinda9]

  At first I thought this was a joke cover – it is pretty funny.

• [BrotherPower]

  Wait, this is the CURRENT ISSUE?!?
  I see what you mean.

• [Bottle Imp]

  But we all know Seinfeld is just saying that to deflect attention from his failing regime to Regis. Targeted killings won’t keep Seinfeld in power forever.

• [SedanChair]

  nuclear-armed theocracy

  You’re not talking about Iran are you? I swear to god if Boing Boing starts banging the war drum I’m out of here.

  • [jsandin]

    After the 2012 election the USA might be a nuclear-armed theocracy.

• [Rob Beschizza]

  Who said anything about Iran? 

• [ChicagoD]

  A formerly very relevant comedian says that a retiring, formerly relevant . . . guy . . . is “King.” Are copies on sale at my local newsstand?

  Also, I started following Larry King on Twitter. The comedy is unintentional, but it is AWESOME.

• [Halloween Jack]

  Garrison Keillor, of all people, had a great line about Tina Brown’s editorial skills; he used to write for the New Yorker (I think it may have been his dream job growing up, actually), but after Brown took over there he said, “One’s interest in bad work is limited, really.” It’s not just that I have no particular interest in this incarnation of Newsweek, it’s that I have to wonder who would.

• [Wally Ballou]

  Just your standard media dumbing down.  By 2020 or thereabouts, every magazine and cable channel in America will be devoted to either C-list celebrity gossip or reality shows about rednecks and welfare mommas.

• [grs]

  I think I already read that cover story in the last issue of Sky Mall.

• [Bubba73]

  There’s a reason that shit is given away free in hotels.

• [Joseph Finn]

  It’s indifferently designed?

• [Lurking_Grue]

  TIL: Newsweek is still being published.

• [Layne]

  Good story - 
  It’s curious that Brown practices such tight control and monkeywrenches decisions and things go to hell but Jobs does that sort of thing and is praised for his “vision”. 

  What’s the main difference – success? The final product?

• [Teller]

  Regis? I stood up at Buzz Bissinger and jumped outta the plane at Paul Begala.

• [MrEricSir]

  Maybe Newsweek should follow in the footsteps of Time magazine and offer a version for adults.

• [GregS]

  I think you’re completely missing the triumph of news reporting that Newsweek achieved here.  The mainstream media has kept us all so distracted by “news” about “Wikileaks and the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street, … cameraphoned sic semper tyrannis and nuclear-armed theocracy” that we all completely failed to take note of the bloody, violent coup that Regis Philbin lead in Washington last week, overthrowing the government and declaring himself king. Jerry Seinfeld was the first to pledge his loyalty in hopes of getting a juicy dukedom out of it. Only Newsweek was alert enough to report on the story. Good on them!

• [Palomino]

  I measure it by how much the title of the magazine is being covered up. 

• [the damned fool]

  Newsweek Headlines I’d like to see: 

  - Herman Cain – Vegetable Magnate

  - Lobbyists - Rick Perry’s Third Agency for Elimination 

  It’s a Mad World