On the importance of sausage to Rick Perry

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Brainspore

Talk about hypocrisy. First he bashes the gays, then he panders to the sausage-smokers.
- Cowicide
  
  Beers, Steers and Queers….
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPVC8Y4aJdc
trackofalljades

I feel like this belongs here:

http://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/wp/docs/2011/08/rick_perry.jpg
- Cowicide
  
  I feel like this belongs here
  
  Did you mean the photo belongs in this thread or the fat, long, hot, juicy corndog belongs in Perry’s wanting mouth?
- carmicheals carmicheals
  
  http://i.current.com/images/asset/907/291/29/FEDvf.jpg
- Mantissa128
  
  What is it with lunatic politicians and corndogs?
  - RJ
    
    It’s how the wealthy career politician signals that they are plain folks who eat plain food because they’re so aw-shucks plain and country simple, y’all.
    
    Just to be clear on the matter, corndogs remain awesome in spite of this outrageous misuse.
    - Andrew Singleton
      
      Let not a scumbag’s misuse of an item make you not want to use/consume it.
      
      Otherwise hte terrists win.
  - http://insight.pinkonbrown.org/ Dr P Fenderson
    
    Those eyes. *shudder*
- soodonim
  
  Counter-point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBemKMi2AlY
  - http://boingboing.net/ The Life Of Bryan
    
    Worst lip sync EVAR.
    - 3eff_jeff
      
      It was close enough to work. Particularly the timing of the gesticulations.
- $19428857
  
  I’ll see your corn dog and raise you an ice cream cone
  - UrbanUndead
    
    Santorum-dipped, even! XD
- http://glitch.tl/ Michael Smith
  
  Good to see that his gag reflex is so under control.
  - Cowicide
    
    I know! And it clearly has santorum all over it too. What a trooper.
    - UrbanUndead
      
      LOL! Yep, and ya beat me to it. Haw haw haw XD
Antinous / Moderator

He says ‘sausage’ like he really means it.
- Cowicide
  
  Rick Perry seems fascinated with sausage, wouldn’t you say?
  http://i.imgur.com/5MGSq.gif
https://twitter.com/misterjayem MrJM

Isn’t “A Texas Natural” slang for a condom-less encounter in a Dallas bathhouse?
- http://twitter.com/writebastard Ian Wood
  
  Yes. Yes it is.
  
  (Austin too, but it’s more of an in-the-bushes thing)
  - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OAUXAA362EXWLYVMPJOKLFB5JQ Incipient Madness
    
    Same in Houston too, but it’s in an alley behind a dumpster.
    
    Seriously though, J&B is pretty good sausage. I’ll probably buy some at the store tomorrow because I saw this ad.
    - knoxblox
      
      I always thought Elgin sausage was the best. After all, it is the sausage capital…
      - http://borborygmist.influxofdust.com/ Wayne Dyer
        
        J&B makes the Earl Campbell branded stuff, but I’m partial to Southside Market from Elgin.
Brainspore

I also noticed that the hat he’s wearing in that last scene is a dead ringer for Jake Gyllenhaal’s from Brokeback Mountain. Pair that with the Heath Ledger jacket he wore in that other video and you’ve got the whole “gay cowboy” look down pat.
- https://twitter.com/misterjayem MrJM
  
  Yes, indeedie
  
  http://youtu.be/1u4CXlIYjyE
gwailo_joe

I try not to mess with Texas. I enjoy the musical stylings of the Texas Tornadoes. I appreciate that Texas Tea is vital to our transportation and industry. I have no problem with Texas Toast or Texas Instruments.

But would somebody please reign in this ‘Texas Natural’ and bring him back to the fields and pastures of his native land? Put him out to stud far away from crowds and cameras where he can dream of value added sausage to his (ever so small) hearts content.
- RJ
  
  Small heart? Not if he really cares about sausage.
Jorpho

Hey, this video doesn’t use youtube-nocookie.

What’s the deal with that, anyway? A copy-pasted youtube-nocookie URL never works for me.
jheiss

Wait, why did a private sausage ~~fest~~ factory need the government’s help to expand? Isn’t the government supposed to get out of the way and let private enterprise run wild and free?
- http://twitter.com/sirkowski Sirkowski
  
  When it comes to sausages and Republicans, it’s “do what I say, not what I do”.
Guest

He wants to “expand sausage.” Yeh buddy.
ill lich

I find the whole “cowboy” image so ridiculously cliched. Sorry. Yeah, sure, I’m an effete Northeastern liberal, wearing a beret and writing poetry in my journal at the local organic coffee shop. But c’mon. . . Rick Perry spends most of his time in an office wearing a suit and tie, and in his free time he’s probably watching football or cooking on the backyard grill in cutoff jeans, not roping steers. In this modern world owning a horse generally means you are wealthy, not some rural blue-collar roughneck.
- anarres
  
  As a Brit/Canadian with an outside perspective… it really is ridiculously cliched. I mean, however ridiculously cliched it looks to USians, to the rest of the world, it looks a hundred times cliched-ier. As in ‘I would like to parody this, but no parody could come close to how ridiculous the thing I am making fun of already is’, cliche’d.
  - Ianto_Jones
    
    Don’t worry, it looks that way to a lot of us here in the US too.
  - Dave Jenkins
    
    Agreed. It would be the same if Japanese politicians ran around in hakama robes. BTW, I see guys walking around Tokyo in kimono or hakama robes, and I’ve asked them if they were going to a party or something. No, most of them just like to kick it old school on their Sunday afternoon walks. That rules.
    
    But if a politician tried it, they would be accused of shameless pandering– which is what this is too.
  - Ted Brennan
    
    The Coat is a Carhartt, Hq in Dearborn Michigan. Company founded in 1889. Factories and Mills in Canada, USA, Mexico and Europe. Outsourced work to many other countries. Family owned.
    
    The shirt from Brokeback Mountain is a Rockmount Ranchwear from Denver Colorado. Founded in 1946. Invented the snap shirt, and has not changed in basic design since the 50′s. Bob Dylan and Green Day like them.
    Also Family owned.
    
    To throw in the hat. A Stetson, basic design originated in 1865 with the company. The Canadian Mounties wear a flat brimmed Stetson. Located and made in Garland Texas. As Dr. Who says, “Stetson’s are cool.” Now owned by Hat Brands inc and made in Texas.
    
    It is crazy when people wear clothes that don’t suit them, see Obama in a pair of jeans (patented in 1873 by Levi Strauss), he looks wrong. Yet, I would not be surprised if people who trash Western wear might own a pair.
    
    Notice how much more at home Perry looks in an Urban east coast suit while lovin’ on the sausage.
    
    The shameless pandering of Rick Perry (or Barack Obama) is to be ridiculed, but not the cultural history which is actually cool.
    
    Of course Berets are originally the headwear of 17th century Basque Shepherds. Maybe not cowboys but close.
    
    It is parody when someone else does it, maybe NY hipsters in their ripoff snap button shirts. Or the ironic era of trucker hats and straw cowboy hats. It is cliche as any trope with a history of that length, but it would be hard pressed to say that these companies have the inauthenticity of kitsch.
    
    But to feel all elite and superior, nah just stupid.
    - penguinchris
      
      Don’t think anyone questions the authenticity – or the coolness – of the actual clothes. It’s just that they look ridiculous on most people, most of the time, because of the context.
      
      You can take any one of the items you list (save perhaps the Stetson) and incorporate it into your outfit, in any part of the country, on any day, and it would look fine (possibly even make you look cool). Indeed, most people probably own clothing that’s at least derivative of western wear, if not an authentic piece.
      
      Put more than one of those items together, though, and you’re wearing a costume. Especially so if your normal attire is, as you say, east coast suits.
      
      Movies like to show us Texas businessmen who are “real Texans” – they wear suits, but with wide lapels and outrageous ties, and of course cowboy boots and hats. And they look badass, especially because no one else can wear that stuff and not look ridiculous – especially politicians like Rick Perry.
  - MarcVader
    
    +1 for USians. I’ve been forever looking for a word for the people of Americaland.
sean

If he can do that for sausage, he can do it for America.
http://youtu.be/k9QXY80OxS0 Errant Coyote

Expanding sausages…Texas Naturals…keep messing around like that and Santorum will soon be sticking to Perry like glue…and I just made myself throw up a little bit.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  The curse of an overactive imagination.
  
  Gum?
Ianto_Jones

When I’m relaxing on my porch after a hard day’s work, there’s nothing I like to do more than put on some leather and think about getting stuffed full of sausage. I mean for dinner. In my mouth. No! I just mean swallowing sausage. No, not swallowing, eating! I meant eating! Just eating! Like anyone else I sometimes like to eat a long, smooth piece of meat! Aw shucks, forget it! I’m Rick Perry, and I am totally not gay.
ridestowe

“creating good, quality jobs working at a fucking sausage factory”
EdReding

why is there welding in the sausage factory?
- http://twitter.com/Zipster90 Zach
  
  As a Texan, I think they’re welding the packages shut. So fucking hard to open…
Labbit

Es geht um die Wurst
Mister44

I don’t trust this guy.

1) Where is his hair net? I can’t tell you how much it sucks when a sausage is in your mouth and you realize you have a hair in there as well.

2) Those photos behind him are so uneven, it’s unsettling.
Frank Diekman

Doesn’t he look precious in his little cowboy costume?
http://noctilucent-studios.blogspot.com/ Noctilucent Studios

I can’t WAIT for this election season to be over so that people like Perry can just GO AWAY.

Far, far away.
- http://www.theblacklaser.net/ Joe The Wizard
  
  My thought precisely.
- OakCliffClavin
  
  Wish I could say that. Unfortunately he’ll just come home to Texas.
rattypilgrim

Perry has a pose for every situation. Executing most of them he takes a wide stance (good in airport bathrooms), holds his arms stiffly away from his body, dramatically puts his hands on his hips, plays the Marlboro cowboy and every cheesy western to the hilt (no pun intended), and last but not least, like his predecessor G.W. Bush he is afraid of horses. Let’s see him get on one. Many 6 year old girls do. There was a song from the urban cowboy days, “Hell, I Ain’t a Cowboy I Just Found the Hat”. Need I say more?
thequickbrownfox

I don’t see any problem.

All those sausages have quite clearly been “cured”.
- rattypilgrim
  
  Perhaps they were cured by Marcus Bachman.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OAUXAA362EXWLYVMPJOKLFB5JQ Incipient Madness

Coolist thing about being Texas Ag Commissioner is that your name is on these little licensing stickers on any device that measures weight or volume for retail trade. A guy goes into stores and slides weights around on the scales and puts on a new sticker if they check out. Other inspectors measure the output of gas pumps. Not having little stickers is a crime.

So Rich Perry was in charge of a department that regulated businesses.
bmcraec

The narration sounds suspiciously like James Garner. Now that would be sad. Still, he was in Victor Victoria…
noah django

Why U No Embed?

OS X/Firefox
robotmonkeys

Rick Perry is a multimillionare that has not had a job outside of government since 1984. How can this be? Oh he just got “lucky” with real estate investments. That’s all.