Maker of 10-lb marzipan pig decides it's too gruesome to give to his daughters

spindelmann says: "Jonas Laberg made a 10 kg marzipan pig for his five- and seven-year-old girls. It turned out pretty evil."

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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millie fink

Ten kg of marzipan?! Someone’s got a lot of spare cash.
- guanto
  
  Nah… about $100 if you buy it at a grocery store here. Something tells me you wouldn’t buy 10 kg of that stuff in 500g packets though; it’s probably a lot cheaper at wholesale prices.
mtdna

I don’t see what the problem is. My dad made one of those for me when I was a kid, and I turned out fine.
Signed,
John Smith (c/o State Hospital for the Criminally Insane)
http://twitter.com/TheRedMonk01 Red Monk

Welcome to the uncanny valley of cakes and sweets.
voiceinthedistance

A few bushels of almonds never had a clue what was in store for them. Make sure you check out the posterior shot in the link. Too much information . . .
- BombBlastLightingWaltz
  
  Wow, he really went for total realism. Who wants the ‘end’ piece?
Palefire

Disturbing. Sort of funny, but still disturbing.
http://meander61.blogspot.com/ Meander, pontifex emeritus

Sometimes cakes become evil in their own right:

http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/11/1/you-remind-me-of-the-babe.html
emschelle

Well, he can hardly argue he was trying to make it cute in the first place….
- MarcVader
  
  I wonder if he could have made it look more like a block of tofu.
Happler

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=10+kg+marzipan

| value | % daily value
total calories | 36600 Cal | 1830%
fat calories | 7812 Cal |

! how many kids where going to get this?
- Osloianer
  
  Hopefully, they’ll bring it to school.
Mark Dow

[headline: 22 lb or 10 kg]
- Michael Hogsett
  
  Mark is just practicing to work as a software engineer at NASA.
  - Mark Dow
    
    For the marzipan pig flight to Mars. It would make a good rocketry experiment.
ciacontra

Hah, I just bought two marzipan pigs this morning at Larsen’s Bakery (in Ballard, Seattle).

Of course mine are stocking-stuffer sized… http://www.larsensbakery.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=29879
Paige Olson

So was it 10kg or 10lb? the pic list both in different spots..
- http://ericlimer.com/ Eric Limer
  
  Looking at the source, I’m pretty sure it was 10kg. The girls don’t seem to be his daughters either. The headline is just all kinds of wrong.
pauldrye

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am most sorry to hear that your two children will not be receiving their marzipan pig this year. Having examined the pictures myself you’re quite probably correct that your loved ones will not take it in the correct spirit. However, have you considered that even its mere existence threatens their peace of mind? One day they might stumble across it while exploring the shed or basement and then who knows what could happen to their fragile little minds.

Clearly the only solution is for you to send it to me and I will eat the evidence.

Yrs, etc. etc.
http://twitter.com/sod909 Marco van Zuylen

Nice! Here is the one I got, I have been eating starting at dec 5 (Sinterklaas is when we give and eat Marzipan in The Netherlands). I am now halfway,…
Rev. Benjamin

Wtf is marzipan?! Why would you make one into …. That?! Is it a cake?! Demand Unicorn Chaser Cake – stat!!
semiotix

It turned out pretty evil.

Boy, if I had a nickel for every entry in my lab notebook that ended with that…
awjt

Turn it into marzipan bacon and sausage!
http://twitter.com/michaelsayyes michael b

There’s a nightmare wrapped up waiting to start breathing.
http://deansli.st/ Dean Putney

I really hope this is the most repulsive thing I see all day, but knowing my web browsing habits, I highly doubt it will be.
- Happler
  
  It is the internet, if you are not offended, you are not digging deep enough.
CLamb

I keep thinking that if I were to cut it up to eat it I would find marzipan pig organs inside.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Like marzipaté and marzichitterlings?
http://www.facebook.com/paulrpotts Paul R. Potts

Sometimes extreme realism is not your friend. I generally don’t like my candy items to have large, inflamed anuses, for example.
Chuck

But deciding that they shouldn’t have it will make them want it that much more.
Julie Neff

Happy Hogswatch!
General Specific

That’s super-gross, but it’s exceptionally good work. Nice job!
sam1148

That would be awesome as a red velvet cake. (Like the Bleeding Armadillo Cake in Steel Magnolias).
Red Leatherman

Odd looking thing for sure, I had to do a google on wtf marzipan is and then googled marzipan pigs and saw some pretty cute things then I saw this link titled “Repulsive Marzipan Sculptures http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/artist-makes-stomach-turning-art-out-of-marzipan.html
probably one in there NSFW.
Anyhow, Jonas Laberg hasn’t won the prize for the most creepy ever but I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that he decided not to give it to his five and seven year old girls.
http://celesteagnes.blogspot.com/ Sekino

I guess I’m the only one chuckling at the thought of the two little kids running around shrieking like banshees once they saw their ‘cake’. They’d have a blast and you know it! It kinda looks like a skinned ‘Stitch’ from Lilo and Stitch…
V

ha – that would be worth several therapy sessions….
http://twitter.com/randywalters Randy Walters

Great work, Dad, and nice thought – but good call, too.
hipdadiddy

Only thing I find repulsive about it is it’s made from marzipan. Yuck!
http://twitter.com/criminalcrafts Miss Demeanor

I want this sooo bad, is that wrong? I think my kids would be ok with it, I know that’s wrong.
jonaslaberg

No, I made it from 500g-packets. If you look at the second photo in the set you can see them.

Whereas we do have a butter shortage here in Norway, we are not missing marsipan. Those 10kgs came to about 280NOK or 60$.

And true enough like someone pointed out above, it’s 10 kgs, not lbs. and the girls are not my daughters, they’re daughters of friends. And they are in for a surprise, as the mum saw the pig and think they can ‘stomach’ it (although probably not literally), so they’re getting it after all. She promised to take photos.
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

Jonas writes, “I’m not quite sure what I should do with it.” MONETIZE IT!
http://twitter.com/BikerRay BikerRay

Not sure if it’s marzipan, but this main course has a certain appeal…
http://goo.gl/VR4K5
http://halfbakedmaker.org Robert Baruch

Well, I’m just going to say something nice. The detail on that thing is incredible. And the… the… oh, who am I kidding, it’s a horrible offense against nature (runs away crying).
cellocgw

This is what http://tech.slashdot.org/story/11/12/24/0436243/face-scanning-vending-machine-denies-children-access-to-pudding child-proof vending machines are for
CountZero

“For God’s Sake, won’t someone think of the children!”
Oh, wait a minute…
Thank you, everybody; I was having a really shitty day, until I got to this post. It’s just had me laughing out loud. Excellent work, Jonas, little kids need to be scared shitless every now and again.
My kid brother used to watch Dr Who through the crack in the kitchen door…
Palomino

I see 100% edible talent.

Put a butterfly on the end of its nose and call it “cute enough to eat”.