Maker of 10-lb marzipan pig decides it's too gruesome to give to his daughters


46 Responses to “Maker of 10-lb marzipan pig decides it's too gruesome to give to his daughters”

  1. millie fink says:

    Ten kg of marzipan?! Someone’s got a lot of spare cash.

    • guanto says:

      Nah… about $100 if you buy it at a grocery store here. Something tells me you wouldn’t buy 10 kg of that stuff in 500g packets though; it’s probably a lot cheaper at wholesale prices.

  2. mtdna says:

    I don’t see what the problem is. My dad made one of those for me when I was a kid, and I turned out fine.
    John Smith (c/o State Hospital for the Criminally Insane)

  3. Red Monk says:

    Welcome to the uncanny valley of cakes and sweets.

  4. voiceinthedistance says:

    A few bushels of almonds never had a clue what was in store for them.  Make sure you check out the posterior shot in the link.  Too much information . . .

  5. Palefire says:

    Disturbing.  Sort of funny, but still disturbing.

  6. emschelle says:

    Well, he can hardly argue he was trying to make it cute in the first place….

  7. Happler says:

    | value | % daily value
    total calories | 36600 Cal | 1830%
    fat calories | 7812 Cal |

    ! how many kids where going to get this?

  8. Mark Dow says:

    [headline: 22 lb or 10 kg]

  9. ciacontra says:

    Hah, I just bought two marzipan pigs this morning at Larsen’s Bakery (in Ballard, Seattle). 

    Of course mine are stocking-stuffer sized…

  10. Paige Olson says:

    So was it 10kg or 10lb? the pic list both in different spots..

  11. pauldrye says:

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    I am most sorry to hear that your two children will not be receiving their marzipan pig this year. Having examined the pictures myself you’re quite probably correct that your loved ones will not take it in the correct spirit. However, have you considered that even its mere existence threatens their peace of mind? One day they might stumble across it while exploring the shed or basement and then who knows what could happen to their fragile little minds.

    Clearly the only solution is for you to send it to me and I will eat the evidence.

    Yrs, etc. etc.

  12. Nice! Here is the one I got, I have been eating starting at dec 5 (Sinterklaas is when we give and eat Marzipan in The Netherlands). I am now halfway,… 

  13. Rev. Benjamin says:

    Wtf is marzipan?! Why would you make one into …. That?! Is it a cake?! Demand Unicorn Chaser Cake – stat!!

  14. semiotix says:

    It turned out pretty evil.

    Boy, if I had a nickel for every entry in my lab notebook that ended with that…

  15. awjt says:

    Turn it into marzipan bacon and sausage!

  16. michael b says:

    There’s a nightmare wrapped up waiting to start breathing.

  17. Dean Putney says:

    I really hope this is the most repulsive thing I see all day, but knowing my web browsing habits, I highly doubt it will be.

  18. CLamb says:

    I keep thinking that if I were to cut it up to eat it I would find marzipan pig organs inside.

  19. Sometimes extreme realism is not your friend. I generally don’t like my candy items to have large, inflamed anuses, for example.

  20. Chuck says:

    But deciding that they shouldn’t have it will make them want it that much more.

  21. Julie Neff says:

    Happy Hogswatch!

  22. General Specific says:

    That’s super-gross, but it’s exceptionally good work. Nice job!

  23. sam1148 says:

    That would be awesome as a red velvet cake.  (Like the Bleeding Armadillo Cake in Steel Magnolias).

  24. Red Leatherman says:

    Odd looking thing for sure, I had to do a google on wtf marzipan is and then googled marzipan pigs and saw some pretty cute things then I saw this link titled “Repulsive Marzipan Sculptures
    probably one in there NSFW.
    Anyhow, Jonas Laberg hasn’t won the prize for the most creepy ever but I’ll sleep better tonight knowing that he decided not to give it to his five and seven year old girls.

  25. Sekino says:

    I guess I’m the only one chuckling at the thought of the two little kids running around shrieking like banshees once they saw their ‘cake’.  They’d have a blast and you know it! It kinda looks like a skinned ‘Stitch’ from Lilo and Stitch…

  26. V says:

    ha – that would be worth several therapy sessions….

  27. Great work, Dad, and nice thought – but good call, too.

  28. hipdadiddy says:

    Only thing I find repulsive about it is it’s made from marzipan.  Yuck!

  29. I want this sooo bad, is that wrong?  I think my kids would be ok with it, I know that’s wrong.

  30. jonaslaberg says:

    No, I made it from 500g-packets. If you look at the second photo in the set you can see them.

    Whereas we do have a butter shortage here in Norway, we are not missing marsipan. Those 10kgs came to about 280NOK or 60$.

    And true enough like someone pointed out above, it’s 10 kgs, not lbs. and the girls are not my daughters, they’re daughters of friends. And they are in for a surprise, as the mum saw the pig and think they can ‘stomach’ it (although probably not literally), so they’re getting it after all. She promised to take photos.

  31. Deidzoeb says:

    Jonas writes, “I’m not quite sure what I should do with it.” MONETIZE IT!

  32. BikerRay says:

    Not sure if it’s marzipan, but this main course has a certain appeal…

  33. Well, I’m just going to say something nice. The detail on that thing is incredible. And the… the… oh, who am I kidding, it’s a horrible offense against nature (runs away crying).

  34. cellocgw says:

    This is what  child-proof vending machines are for

  35. CountZero says:

    “For God’s Sake, won’t someone think of the children!”
    Oh, wait a minute…
    Thank you, everybody; I was having a really shitty day, until I got to this post. It’s just had me laughing out loud. Excellent work, Jonas, little kids need to be scared shitless every now and again.
    My kid brother used to watch Dr Who through the crack in the kitchen door…

  36. Palomino says:

    I see 100% edible talent. 

    Put a butterfly on the end of its nose and call it “cute enough to eat”. 

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