Comments on: Snow cone machines for homeland security

By: Gag Halfrunt

Gag Halfrunt — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 14:10:00 +0000

They must have mistaken Soylent Green for a how-to guide. Next they'll be getting the trucks with bulldozer attachments for scooping up protestors.

By: wrybread

wrybread — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 11:42:00 +0000

I’m pretty sure I can hear the drunken slurring and hiccups in this post…

By: Palomino

Palomino — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 04:31:00 +0000

I don’t have a problem with the reason. I have a problem with the price. They sell for about $500 each, not $900. I thought the idea of bulk purchasing was to SAVE money, not spend more? Why is it the opposite for government?

By: EH

EH — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:36:00 +0000

Nice margin, I bet the seller is a buddy of someone.

By: EH

EH — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:34:00 +0000

I’d say one snowcone machine per 10 attendees is reasonable. They’re using union operators, too, I hope.

By: EH

EH — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:33:00 +0000

..but less funnily.

By: That_Anonymous_Coward

That_Anonymous_Coward — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:41:00 +0000

Something to consider is they are handed piles of cash with loose guidelines, and if they manage to not spend all of it they will get less the next time money is passed out.

This is a constant problem with Government programs, if you do not spend every penny you get less the next time. So they find ways to spend the money with the thinnest excuses. There is no benefit to being frugal or saying we apperciate the money but really have nothing to spend it on.

By: sam

sam — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:06:00 +0000

Its a good thing they didn’t get snow wizard machines.

http://snowizard.com/shavers/snowizard/

By: Scratcheee

Scratcheee — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 14:31:00 +0000

When planning a boondoggle, I find it best to prepare one’s story ahead of time. Otherwise, one ends up with this kind of nonsense.

By: David Kopelman

David Kopelman — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 14:07:00 +0000

The problem is, all those penny ante’s add up. And the result is we’ve spent ourselves into oblivion.

By: snagglepuss

snagglepuss — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 13:49:00 +0000

Why stop at Sno-Kone machines? A fleet of brand-new popcorn poppers could teach li’l TSA agents the fundamentals of explosives theory. A balloon inflator rig (Marked up only 4900 %) a primer on the transportation and mass deployment of potentially lethal gasses. What is an inflatable bouncy castle, if NOT a portable device for the instruction of zero-gravity hand-to-hand combat, so that we’ll be ready when the terrorists develop portable anti-gravity hand-to-hand combat attack technology, as they surely must be doing?

By: Dedzig

Dedzig — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 13:20:00 +0000

First, I feel so much more secure now.

Second: $900 for a snow cone machine? Looks like they didn’t even know how to shop for them. The place I work sells our most expensive unit for $689, and the one in the photo goes for $629. Both prices can be found easily online. Even with our most expensive shipping options it wouldn’t be close to $900. Is it too much to ask Homeland security to check pricing online? That should be a cross-departmental rule for all government agencies.

By: JG

JG — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 13:16:00 +0000

I’ve been calling TSA a money-wasting snow job for years. Now I even have proof.

By: thaum

thaum — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 10:17:00 +0000

“And after you’re finished your snow cone, step into the Private Screening Area…”

By: Tim Wells

Tim Wells — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 09:26:00 +0000

Schneier not Scneier.

By: Sooper8

Sooper8 — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 07:57:00 +0000

‘Hello little child…would you like a snow cone treat’?

Enticing them with sweets and cute little puppies can’t be too far off either.

We used to have posters here in the UK that warned children away from perverts offering sweets and cute pets…

By: CLamb

CLamb — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 06:20:00 +0000

The city of Newark, NJ bought garbage trucks with its Federal Homeland Security money. City officials explained that they could be used to haul bodies in the event of a disaster.

By: voiceinthedistance

voiceinthedistance — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 06:11:00 +0000

Add a little LSD syrup to the shaved ice and our homeland is secure.

By: MarcVader

MarcVader — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 06:09:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNaDZIrxh-0

By: MarcVader

MarcVader — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 05:53:00 +0000

If you remove the superfluous line breaks I’ll remove this comment. Ok?

By: Aron

Aron — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 05:15:00 +0000

you don’t have to worry about paying for it. It’s already been payed for. It’s not like they put those things on lay away man. Not only that but a good quality snow cone machine will practically pay for itself in a matter of months if you price your product correctly.
as for the intricacies of snow cone based outreach i can’t really explain. it is a process only the homeland security agencies truly understand. But look at something like the SNO-FLURRY 3100 SHAVE ICE MACHINE it can put out 18 delicious (or dangerous) cones a minute. that is an entire 8 pound bag of ice. the psychological impact of such a machine on a crowd of people is unimaginable, so long as the homeland security agencies use it for good not evil.
in reference to the sentence about 30 dollars.
i choose not to reveal my sources.

By: grs

grs — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:28:00 +0000

Bah, just find out who the seller was. I bet it’s the dumb ass brother in law or a poker buddy of someone in DHS.

By: pjcamp

pjcamp — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:28:00 +0000

I’ll have a cherry ice pack please. Hydrate me!

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:12:00 +0000

im a little confused about why anyone is upset about this.

We don’t want to pay for it.

but you’re all just as upset when they take the opposite approach and use public outreach in the name of protecting the nation.

How, precisely, does sno-kone-based outreach protect the nation?

A thirty dollar snow cone machine

How did you get from $11,700 to $30 dollars?

By: Mari Lwyd

Mari Lwyd — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:10:00 +0000

You laugh but think of the potential weapon frothed, boiling milk would make if all of the agents’ firearms failed and a terrorist required neutralizing before he set off explosives.

Bet you didn’t think of it from that angle did ya, smart-ass?

By: llazy8

llazy8 — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 04:04:00 +0000

The version I always heard stopped at 12 drummers drumming.

By: msbpodcast

msbpodcast — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:57:00 +0000

Dont forget if we had snow favour liquid in squirt bottles we could even make flavoured snow-cones, if we had snow favour liquid in squirt bottles.

Make mine lemon.

I’ve always derived a perverse pleasure from actually eating yellow snow. :-)

By: MB44

MB44 — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:46:00 +0000

And also pallets of 30 billion in cash have gone missing and unaccounted for in our privatized wars in the middle east. This seems adorable compared to that.

By: Aron

Aron — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:45:00 +0000

im a little confused about why anyone is upset about this. It seems like you all get so upset over them torturing and killing people to protect the nation. but you’re all just as upset when they take the opposite approach and use public outreach in the name of protecting the nation. and complaining about their claim that the machines can be used to make ice packs. would you rather they claim it could be used to torture people, say possibly give terrorists unbearable brain freezes. Delicious though they may be im sure i would crack under two days straight of brain freeze torture. then there is the complaint about the expense. what do you expect? of course they need to buy commercial snow cone machines. This is an agency for homeland security. They’re not throwing a princess themed birthday party for your daughter. A thirty dollar snow cone machine is a joke when your dealing hot thirsty crowds waiting for some icy flavored refreshment.

By: Stuart

Stuart — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 03:12:00 +0000

If we had a snow cone maker, we could make ice packs, if we had ice.