Did you know that Nokia has a "luxury" subsidiary that makes phones for stupid rich people?
As the European cellular industry's supernumerary nipple, Vertu has long specialized in calculator-display brickphones that look like dragon poo rolled in gemstones. It oozes along the dried slugtrail of progress, having just announced its first touchscreen Symbian handset--sure to be an LG Prada-killer!
In spite of its claim to be the "pinnacle of mobile phone excellence worldwide," the sad reality of Vertu's obsolete junk shows how alien the gadget business is to sellers of luxury. Technology's R&D-driven elements of quality and credibility are now so fast-changing as to be inaccessible to them. Even the most clueless class aspirant appreciates the power that new technology exerts over traditional tokens of extrinsic self-worth; it's better to just get a gold case for a standard-issue iPhone.
Though the company's future is uncertain--Nokia is reportedly trying to offload it--Vertu still understands the communication needs of oil wives and drug dealers better than anyone. Pictured above is the "Data Cable", featuring "High Speed USB 2.0", on offer for $190. With tax and shipping, that'll head well over $200 for a cable you can buy at monoprice for $2. Talk about charging what the market will bear!
Even a standard lithium-ion battery will set you back $90.
The V Collection Bluetooth Headset at least has the same unique, vaguely-80s design as the handsets themselves; but what could be more illustrative of the "invisible clothing" problem than its $790 price tag? Apart from the $1300 cases with names like "Signature Precious".
Did you buy a useless $400 “smart” juicer and now feel the need to accessorize it with more extrusions from the Internet of Shit timeline? Then The Leaf from Teaforia is just the thing: it’s a tea-maker that uses DRM-locked tea-pods to brew tea in your kitchen so you don’t have to endure the hassle […]
A popular French blogger was killed after a pressurized whipped cream dispenser exploded and struck her in the chest. French media reported she had died of cardiac arrest after the incident, despite medical attention. The popular fitness and travel figure was well-known in France, with some 55,000 Facebook fans and 154,000 followers on Instagram. One […]
The Kaonashi No-Face Piggy Bank makes the most out of one of the coolest characters in Studio Ghibli’s storied history — but getting one exported to you from Japan costs an astounding $164. (via Kadrey)
As the old saying goes, “You should sit in meditation for 30 minutes every day. Unless you are too busy, in which case you should meditate for an hour.” Since most of us have an endless list of things to do and people to see, carving out quiet time can feel impossible, especially when most […]
The Bragi Dash Truly Wireless Smart Earphones are far more than your run of the mill Bluetooth earbuds. While the earpiece design makes these earbuds ideal for exercise and activity, and passive noise cancelling is conducive to a more serene listening experience, these buds go well beyond just playing music.First of all, they can actually […]