Who is Rick Santorum?

When [Rock] Santorum was in high school, "Everybody called him 'Rooster' because of a strand of hair on the back of his head which stood up, and because of his competitive, in-your-face attitude. 'He would debate anything and everything with you, mostly sports,' [a friend recalled]. 'He was like a rooster. He never backed down.'" That profile also contains this description of the young Santorum, before he met his wife, courtesy of a cousin: "Rick was a funny guy. He sported a bushy moustache for a time, wore Hawaiian shirts and smoked cigars. He liked to laugh, drink and call things 'horsey-assey.' He was very popular and fun to be around."

From an article my cousin, Molly Ball, wrote for The Atlantic, called "Who is Rick Santorum?"

• [murgatroid]

  testing from Disqus

• [Joe The Wizard]

  I love Dan Savage.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  Is frothy the new black?

• [artbyjcm]

  This dude’s a bigger nut than I remembered. o_O;;

• [bklynchris]

  I am sorry, but I think they are confusing mean douchey guy, for  ”…a funny guy. He sported a bushy moustache for a time, wore Hawaiian shirts and smoked cigars.”, that smooth sleuth Magnum P.I.

  ok, I couldn’t find a photo of him with a cigar, so you will have to content yourselves with the theme music that started playing in your head as soon as you mind imaged him.

  • [cdh1971]

    So Santorum was gay for Tom Selleck…interesting — and what a hypocrite. 

    I wonder if he went all the way and drove a bright red VW cabriolet or a bright red Le Baron convertible (to substitute for the Ferrari) ? 

    • [bklynchris]

      Wait, WHAT?  I did not say that Santorum was gay for Tom Selleck.  I think that friend confused Tom Selleck for Santorum.  Unless he was speaking in code.  Regardless, Magnum PI was the MAN!  That show was the last gasp of the 70′s redolent in the 80′s.

      • [cdh1971]

        I didn’t mean to say _you_  were saying Santorum was gay for Tom Selleck – _I_ was saying this…but I can see how my comment could be interpreted as putting words in your mouth, I’m sorry for the wrong impression.

        Until I read your comment I hadn’t made the connection between Santorum’s attire and ‘stache resembling Magnum PI’s. 

        Anyway – I liked your comment…and…Magnum PI indeed was the MAN! It was truly an example of the last gasps  of the 70′s.

• [wrybread]

  I’m really starting to think that the Republican emphasis on “character” is actually an emphasis on “personality”. I’ve never seen such minutia of a politician’s personality discussed in an election so often.

• [Itsumishi]

  I happened to turn the TV on while this guy was being interviewed the other day. Seemed strange that it was being broadcast in Australia, but there it was. What a nut case.

  The interview can be seen here.

• [Romeo Vitelli]

  ” call things ‘horsey-assey.’”  So, even in high school he had an anal fixation?  Quelle surprise.

• [kP]

  Rock Santorum is dead to me – now I only have Rick

• [BarBarSeven]

  “He sported a bushy moustache for a time, wore Hawaiian shirts and smoked cigars. He liked to laugh, drink and call things ‘horsey-assey.’”

  I—for one—do not want to live in Margartiaville.

• [Damien]

  Lately, I’ve been hearing news about “Santorum surging in Iowa”, and picturing an anally-expelled geyser of fluid. Took me a bit to figure they’re talking about that particular political nutjob. http://spreadingsantorum.com/ 

  • [Jim Saul]

    Ugh. Thanks for the image.

    On a lighter note, I’m impressed by the increasing number of earthquakes caused by fracking.  I bet Starbuck is involved.

• [parfae]

  “Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can’t kill the rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking rooster. Y’know what I’m saying?”

• [Eddie Perkins]

  So, people were calling him a cock as early as High School. I’m not surprised. 

• [billstewart]

  Rick Santorum is the guy who criticized John McCain for not getting how _useful_ torture is to the US military.  That says he doesn’t believe in the rudiments of civilized society, doesn’t get that the American Revolution was about getting rid of politicians like him, and his ideas of “family values” are rather different from mine.

  He’s also somebody who recently said that science should stay out of politics.  If he really _means_ that, I guess he doesn’t want the Internet or TV covering him, and he’ll be campaigning around Iowa in a horse and buggy instead of his internal-combustion-engine truck?

  • [allium]

    TV isn’t science, it’s technology. Big…nay, gargantuan difference.

    • [Eddie Perkins]

      Because, you know, we just dig TVs out of the ground. 

      • [allium]

        Who else put them there but Yahweh?

        #notsureifsnarkyenoughonlastpost

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  And today’s Urban Dictionary Word of the Day is…

• [iCowboy]

  In the gift that keeps on giving, Rupert Murdoch’s Twitter account has this:

  ‘good to see santorum surging in Iowa’

• [MollyNYC]

  My compliments to cousin Molly–if I were think on it for days, I could not come up with a better euphemism for the sort of wingnut douchenozzle who insists that he supports small government, but still believes that government should be not only micromanaging everyone’s sex life, but should be doing so in accordance with the idea that sex is for reproduction only, than “culture warrior.”

  • [MrsBug]

    Don’t they call that kind of thinking “cognitive dissonance”?

• [Ipo]

  Shouldn’t the headline read “What is prick santorum?” instead of “Who”? 
  Also there was a spelling mistake, I guess. 

  Ok then, now I’m gonna read it.

• [murgatroid]

  testing from LivingRoom

• [figurative]

  I will say this… Whoever Rick Santorum is, he certainly didn’t deserve the despicable comments from Alan Colmes.  I respect Santorum for having his beliefs, even if I don’t agree with them.  But Colmes deserves no respect or apology.

• [prime thinker]

  Every time I read his name, I end up pronouncing “Santorum” as “Sontaran” , as in – the aliens from Dr. Who.