/ Rob Beschizza / 6:45 pm Mon Jan 9, 2012

Twinkie future threatened amid Hostess woes

Hostess Brands, maker of sugary snacks renowned for their immunity to the laws of thermodynamics, and some of which are filled with indeterminate creams, is preparing to declare bankruptcy for the second time in a decade. [AP]

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  5. Think of all the popular diets over the past decade — low fat, low saturated fat, low cholesterol, low carb… pretty much all of those diets would stop you from eating a Twinkie.

    Maybe it’s time for Hostess to branch out and try making some healthy snacks as well?

    1. I suspect they suffer from some of the same ailments the McDonalds folks have encountered.

      No one would think Hostess health food was anything akin to believable, and no one within their organization has the base of experience or knowledge required to start up and run an offshoot brand for them.

      Making things worse, they’ve likely dug themselves a nice big debt hole by beating the one horse they can afford (the one they already own) to run to death, so they haven’t the cap required to just outright buy a new, healthier brand (figuratively/literally) and the experiential assets that come with it.

  7. “If I am to perish, then my creation shall die with me … No. No! It cannot BE! It still LIVES! What’s this? No — it’s coming to get m… AAAAAARRRRGH!”

  8. Say what you want about the nutritional value of their wares.

    19,000 more people out of work ain’t funny.

  9.  Maybe Hostess can survive if we try to replicate the results of these Rice University undergrads:

    http://www.twinkiesproject.com/

    But I fear Mr. Capistran is correct in his above comment, Bimbo Bakeries, based in Mexico has bought up a lot of the regional bakeries in the US and has beat Hostess at their game. Bimbo snack cakes are much tastier than their Hostess equivalents, and Bimbo markets the once flagging US regional brands they now own much better than Hostess does. Why would I buy a Hostess fruit Pie when Bimbo buts their larger Mrs. Baird’s fruit pies on the top of the rack at the same price?

    1. I disagree about the “much tastier” part.

      It is the same cheap crap. Maybe crappier.

      One “Bimbo” cake, Gansitos . . . after picking one apart, I gave half to my dog and SHE WOULD NOT EAT IT!

  10. Care for some wind pudding with a dollop of air hostess sauce?  
    Twinkies got creamed
    Twinkie middle remains insolvent in cockroach gastric
    Anti-food’s scatalogical end food for thought
    Fattie fat fat fat – post apocalyptic bunker people – fat
    Ho ho homogenization
    Ding dong the dextrose is red (40)
    Zinger!

  12. if you can’t turn a profit selling junk food to americans, you probably shouldn’t be in business.

  17. But… how will we stop crime without Hostess Fruit Pies? How will we describe the scope of enormous psychokinetic energy fluctuations in layman’s terms without Twinkies?

  22. I always find the phrase “emerged from bankruptcy” kind of bizarre. Like they were hiding behind a black velvet drape and suddenly stepped back onto the scene. “We’re back! Miss us?”

  23. From the comments, I’m guessing you guys don’t realise that Hostess owns Wonder Bread. My bakery laid me off a couple of weeks ago.

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