An important note on preparation. Both of the producers I mention above and nearly all the other cured ham producers in this country seem to want you to cook their hams. This is crazy. Total lunacy. If the ham comes with the appropriate USDA stamp then they’ve been fully cured and are safe to eat with no cooking. As we yanks typically cure our hams slightly less time than the major European producers you’ll get a ham that isn’t as dry as you may be accustomed to (unless you cook it – then dry will rule the day). The Edward’s Surryano is an exception – they don’t instruct you to cook those.

Yes, I did marry well.

There are many producers of Spanish hams but the level of quality can be judged by the following:The type of pigThe way the pig has been fedThe part of the pig used to make the hamThe way the ham is curedThe four major quality categories of cured ham are as follows, from highest to lowest quality:Jamón Iberico de Bellota: Free-range, acorn-fed Iberian pigsJamón Iberico de Recebo: Acorn, pasture and compound-fed Iberian pigsA regional variation of Jamón SerranoJamón Iberico de Campo: (Sometimes just Jamón Iberico in short and also known as Jamón de Pata Negra). Compound-fed Iberian pigs. Pata negra (literally black hoof), which only accounts for about five percent of total ham production, is made from the Black Iberian Pig (cerdo ibérico). The best varieties of pata negra are range fed and fattened onacorns in cork oak groves along the southern border between Spain and Portugal. (see the two subcategories above)Jamón Serrano: (also known as Jamón Reserva, Jamón Curado and Jamón Extra). Compound-fed white pigs.
Jamon serrano ftw

Stilton, on the other hand, does have protected status, so if you buy a piece of Stilton, you have a pretty good idea of what you’re getting

You can also guarantee that it didn’t actually come from the village of Stilton, as this is outside the protected region.

Other curiosities of the system are that Newcastle Brown Ale recently voluntarily rescinded its protected status, so the brewery could make it in Gateshead (and later Yorkshire); and that Newmarket sausages were not protected for many years until two rival butchers could agree on a recipe to send to the EU.

If there are 10 million hams in 29 square km, does that work out to 2.9 hams per square metre in this region? Where do all the pigs live?

Saying this, I have to admit that I like prosicutto di Parma, too, but I prefer a good Spanish Ibérico ham.

I get that it’s a huge problem that people (particularly Americans, no?) eat way too much meat, and in order to feed those vast numbers of people their vast quantities of meat, we’ve transformed cattle- and pig-farming from a relatively bucolic and possibly relatively humane affair into a horrorshow of terror, brutality, blood, mayhem, pollution, and waste.  Not to mention atherosclerosis, hypertension, obesity, and bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

But that’s still beside my point.  You, yourself, occasionally eat meat.  You might possibly find one of these hams to be a delectable indulgence for a holiday meal, once or twice a year.  Now imagine that there are a mere ten million occasional Parma ham-indulgers just like you worldwide.  Et voila, suddenly we find ourselves with a room full of pig legs, a Swine Hell.  And just to feed the occasional fancy-ham indulgence once a year for 0.14% of the world’s population.

If scales like this give people nightmares, I really don’t know how they cope with anything in modern life.

Also, the “feeding hungry mouths” angle is a red herring; these pigs (millions of them, even if the conditions are probably nowhere near as bad as Smithfield’s) are industrially raised and slaughtered and consume massive quantities of crops that would feed humans much more efficiently.

Not saying you shouldn’t eat some of that ham but humanity isn’t any better of because of increased meat production, seriously.

As you said, this isn’t exactly Smithfield here.  I think my perspective is realistic.  The “room full of what were once thousands of pigs” isn’t meant for a single family or tribe or village, you know.  If you believe that meat is murder (and since you yourself occasionally eat meat, I imagine you don’t), then of course you’re going to view such a room as the scene of genocide.  But if you’re okay with eating a dead pig yourself on occasion, and you realize that what you see here are simply pieces of dead pig destined for a whole lot of people, then what’s the problem?  Because we’re not villagers in prehistoric Mesopotamia anymore, are we?

Edit: Link to the site of the “Parma ham consortium,” explaining what their brand is about: http://www.prosciuttodiparma.com/usa/quality/pdo/

They have a high-quality, world-renowned and overpriced product; I think it’s in their own interest to enforce their standards.

To give a different example, look at the sorry state of Cheddar. Is it a particular style of tangy cheese from Somerset, or is it some anonymous block of bland, industrially produced gummi käse? It can actually be both – there is no way to separate them by name. Stilton, on the other hand, does have protected status, so if you buy a piece of Stilton, you have a pretty good idea of what you’re getting.

I might choose to pay more for a known name, while you choose to pay less for a lesser known name. You could be onto something good – maybe you have found an undiscovered gem. That keeps food interesting. If anyone tells you that sparkling wine isn’t worth drinking if it’s not Champagne, they’re an idiot (or maybe from Champagne). But anything that helps to preserve regional variation is a good idea.

Oh Edit: Uber Sarc