Comments on: Anal fireworks lead to lawsuit

By: Promethean Sky

Promethean Sky — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:13:00 +0000

You’re not the only one, I also though of a launch tube immediately.

By: johndavidstutts

johndavidstutts — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:57:00 +0000

Damn I dropped a deuce before but not likey that

By: Robert Baruch

Robert Baruch — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:46:00 +0000

So the socket rocket docket suit is playing out in court, as the bratty fratty brothers try to find who is at fault?

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:22:00 +0000

You obviously haven’t watched MTV’s “Jackass” show then

By: Elric Honoré

Elric Honoré — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:45:00 +0000

Surely you could simply learn from your mistakes – retentive memory is a plus for evolution

By: MarcVader

MarcVader — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:47:00 +0000

Almost as good as “Great Band Name”!

By: voiceinthedistance

voiceinthedistance — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:19:00 +0000

“frictionless anal launcher ”

There. Had to see it again.

By: Snig

Snig — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:28:00 +0000

And now the case is in docket.

By: Culturedropout

Culturedropout — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:35:00 +0000

“FRATANALITY! Finish him!”

By: Culturedropout

Culturedropout — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:30:00 +0000

Someone had to say it. Thanks for throwing yourself on that bottle roc… err… grenade.

By: MrEricSir

MrEricSir — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:24:00 +0000

“Anal Fireworks” would be a great band name.

By: travtastic

travtastic — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:35:00 +0000

Does this mean I win?

By: jimh

jimh — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:28:00 +0000

And hazing, bro!

By: jimh

jimh — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:27:00 +0000

Bunghole Backfire Begets Bandages, Bad Blood

By: BookGuy

BookGuy — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:55:00 +0000

Great. Now every time I say something bad about fraternities and some former bro says, “Dude, fraternities are about a lot more than alcohol and date rape,” I have to concede their point, because they’re also about anal fireworks.

By: William

William — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:36:00 +0000

Calling Mythbusters.

By: Robert Cruickshank

Robert Cruickshank — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:33:00 +0000

I wish to God my mind didn’t work this way, but immediately after reading this, I went back to cleaning my workbench, and my eyes fell on a bin full of lengths of brass tubing. If one were to pre-insert a suitable tube, a frictionless anal launcher could be constructed. Smart people would also solder a washer to said tubing to prevent “loss” , but of course, these were not smart people.

By: fjsr

fjsr — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:33:00 +0000

I consider your theory very plausible. I say we need to KickStart a project wherein a large number of fratyboys, as many as possible in fact, are used as subjects for this very important research. Results will be submitted to a peer reviewed journal, preferably one with a name of the type “Annals of Research”.

By: Assault_is_eternal

Assault_is_eternal — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:31:00 +0000

I’m sure it’s not the first time a member of a fraternity got blasted in the ass while drunk.

By: Donald Petersen

Donald Petersen — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:23:00 +0000

At first I was picturing myself standing on the deck when the contretemps began. Which way would I turn? ”Holy shit! Lou just fell off the deck!” vs “Holy shit! Trav just blew up his asshole!”

And then I read further. The deck was all of four feet high and Lou got wedged between it and an air conditioner. Oh, the drama. For all his considerable dipstickiness, at least Travis has the sense of self-responsibility to not sue the people who illegally got him drunk enough to think shooting rockets out his rectum was a fun idea. Lou, however, just won’t be invited to any more parties, ever.

By: WillieNelsonMandela

WillieNelsonMandela — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:20:00 +0000

On YouTube there’s a video called “Bottle rocket in ass” that shows a similar event. From watching the video, I conclude that when sparks from the lit fuse land on the bare keister It creates some discomfort and the body’s defense mechanism causes the sphincter to tighten-up. As a result, the bottle rocket will not freely fly away but will instead remain put and blast sparks all over the ass. In short, it would be damn near impossible to successfully launch a bottle rocket from one’s ass.

By: echolocate chocolate

echolocate chocolate — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 22:13:00 +0000

I was legally allowed to drink 3 years earlier than these young gentlemen, drank plenty as a student, and in fact drank plenty before then, and yet somehow never considered firing rockets out of my arse. Can’t help thinking the alcohol is not the problem here.

By: Robert Baruch

Robert Baruch — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:43:00 +0000

He had a rocket in his socket when he packed it in his pocket.

By: Robert Baruch

Robert Baruch — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:42:00 +0000

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/4/14/129157477066831452.gif

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:42:00 +0000

That guy was a flaming asshole.

By: Christopher

Christopher — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:13:00 +0000

Let’s face it: the guy who had the bottle rocket explode in his rectum has been punished enough and shouldn’t be subject to any further penalties.

Any judge who finds otherwise should be impeached.

By: Tony Patrick

Tony Patrick — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:09:00 +0000

Plugged Projectile Proves Painful

By: Surly Driver

Surly Driver — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:00:00 +0000

And how about also the manufacturer of the bottle rocket and the makers of Keystone beer sure why not?

By: Robert Cruickshank

Robert Cruickshank — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:57:00 +0000

Pretty much my point, actually.

By: Lobster

Lobster — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:50:00 +0000

Like any self-respecting fraternity knows who Von Braun was…