Video: when hip young technophiles become alter kakers

Social Media Week's "Future Hipsters" video imagines today's young technophilic changesurfers as old farts in 2062, wearing out-of-date fashion and telling rambling stories about being embarrassed by videos of themselves passing out at dubstep gigs. It's a nice illustration of the parenting advice Bruce Sterling once gave me: "No matter how outre and bohemian you are, when your child is fifteen, you will epitomize contemptible bourgeois normacly to her."

Future Hipsters (Thanks, Eli!)


  1. Caring what your kids think of you is just a clearly definable subset of caring what people in general think of you. And it’s a total pain in the existential butt either way. If anyone has a foolproof solution that doesn’t involve chemicals, please post below.

    1. OK, that is seriously the deepest shit I have read in ages.  As this is exactly the middle aged angst whose foundation is very clearly dysfunctional that I have been obsessing over as of late.  AND, my only solace and succor has been chemicals, the use of which feeds back into the negative loop of angst.  When I was younger it was fine, but now this shit takes prisoners.

      Yeah, I too, will take anything at this point, hell-I’ll even put it on the payroll ; |

      You might want to try Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, though he is childless, he himself is a huge child.  But he has churched me on more than one occasion.  Oh, but I do know what is definitely NOT a solution.  A puppy.

      1. Success at what you do seems to work quite well against that kind of angst.
        Problem is, you can’t just buy it at the drugstore.

        Also, love the parenting advice.

  2. Ah, the good old days when I sat on my ass in front of a glowing rectangle composing clever quips and fighting the un-winnable  fight against trolls who would never understand why they were wrong despite my knowing that it was futile to try, however much fun it may have been. Ah, but troll-fighting was a young man’s game. Now, here in 2062, us old farts have internet simulator games that actually use 3d printed retro keyboard controllers and we get to pretend that it’s the old days and we’re fighting the good fight again. Unfortunately, it’s just not the same. The artificial intelligence just doesn’t troll with quite the right amount of bad grammar and absurdity as the real trolls did.

  3. Thanks for the buzzkill, Cory.  Now I can just mark time until 2062, when I will know for sure that I’m an irrelevant cliche.

    BTW:  I have a 15 year old son, and contemptible bourgeois normalcy is my stock and trade.

  4. Yeah, I don’t have to wait until 2062. I’m a hip hacktacular maker-type who teaches filmmaking to middle schoolers for a nonprofit, and my students think I am just about as establishment and boring as they come. 

    1. I must have weirdly accelerated the process.  I’m only 42, but I wax nostalgic for pre-Clinton Administration times.  (Not politically, mind, just culturally.)

      I was a bellbottom-wearing fossil well before I hit my thirties.  Not only do I consider myself too old and dignified to “tweet,” but I had to stop wearing flannel shirts in the early 90s because they got too expensive for a couple years there.

      Chronically unhip though I’ve always been, I do confess that I was into polyamory about 15 years before it was cool.  Or 20 years after, come to think of it.

  5. Having toggled in the paper tape reader routine and loaded software into core from a teletype, I’m more than there. But my good friend programmed SEAC and helped develop the first scanner.

  6. “Coolness” is a state of being in which a kid’s rebellion appears to be successful in some way. It is an action or a state of independence that has been achieved in spite of the establishment.

    Once you reach a certain age, you should outgrow the urge to pursue coolness and instead embrace adulthood. It shouldn’t matter what a fifteen year old kid thinks of you.

    1. While I agree that it shouldn’t matter what a 15 year old kid thinks of you, I still think that  “…action or a state of independence that has been achieved in spite of the establishment” can be quite a good thing, despite your age.  Just be yourself for yourself rather than chase some myth of “the cool” or the just-as-bad myth of “being adult.”

    2. Coolness is, at least to me, more about individuality than anything else. In fact, coolness, to me, is directly equivalent to ‘happy mutant’cy. The pursuit of which is not something I wish to outgrow.

      Now, of course, there is always the manufactured ‘cool’, bought through possession of trendy clothes. Despite the prevalent view that this is what coolness is, this should never be mistaken for coolness.

      And I still can’t figure what adulthood is supposed to be.

Comments are closed.