This Valentine's Day, say it with 55 gallons of lube

Amazon Link. I can't tell what's funniest here, the user reviews, or the pricing and seller details:

(thanks, Fell Pie I)


  1. The user reviews, the pricing and seller details… all great, but what really caught my eye was in the “Customers who viewed this item also viewed” section, where the Accoutrements Horse Head Mask gets top billing.  Because 55-gallon drums of lube and horse head masks are like peanut butter and jelly.  But for sickos.

  2. Some of the “customers who viewed this item also viewed” recommendations are …um.. interesting as well. A horse mask, a steeringwheel desk, a fresh but dead rabbit, and a testical self exam form. I’m trying to picture how these things are related, and who would be shopping for both a dead rabit and that much lube.
    Oh this gets better. Click on the rabbit and the related items include the horse mask, uranium ore, and milk.
    That must have been a hell of a party.

    1. Seriously, the customer reviews for the steering-wheel desk are one of the only things on the internet which has genuinely had me ‘laughing out loud’ – a great way to spend an afternoon.  Fantastic!  Off to check-out the horse mask now…

    2.  These are well-known silly items on Amazon which have loads of silly reviews.

      How they managed to get grouped together is unclear, but undoubtedly on various blogs and forums and so on people have put up links to several of the items, so large groups of people click on several of them and thus they’re the items that customers also viewed.

  3. So…. other people looked/purchased some of the following….. A testicle examination prothesis, the sex world records, a gas mask, A can of Uranium Ore among many other strange and unusual items that I didn’t even know Amazon sold!

  4. I got a tour of the Porn Palace once while attending their Halloween party there and encountered two of these (one had a hand pump and a bunch of little cups). We also encountered a replica of Johnny #5 from the movie Short Circuit. True story.

    1. I’m only a dozen or so reviews in, but my dog has come to see why I’m crying and rendered completely insensible.

  5. If you’re a Maker, though… you can make 55 gallons of this stuff with pharma grade polyethylene oxide, hydroxymethylcellulose, and glycerine for about $300.  (You’ll need a commercial bakery-sized stirring drum, too, and those are pretty pricey.  But that’s a capital investment, not a materials cost.)

  6. It’s clear why these things fell into the same lists of “also viewed by…”–it’s because the items and reviews all went viral on the same sites, and people who don’t usually shop at Amazon (like me) went to see the same items as you all did when those items were Reddited or Boingboinged. As weird as it appears there’s probably a stronger correlation between viewing the huge pot o’ lube and viewing the horsehead than there is between viewing, say, two books on a similar topic.

  7. Blast!  Now amazon will be emailing me about horse heads and whole rabbits.  Any time I buy something or look at something on the site, shortly after I get an email trying to sell me more of the same stuff.

  8. In my early 30’s I worked for  a corporation with “General” in the name. We made airplane parts. One of our processes required a tiny dab of water-based lubricant. Yes, KY jelly. A little apparently went a very long way, and if you re-capped your tube it could last you the better part of a year.  At one point while running an ethernet cable I came upon an entire skid of 50 gallon drums of KY jelly. They were > 10 years old. Apparently someone had accidentally ticked the wrong box on the order form. I pointed it out to the cell leader who was just as stonkered as I was. 

    Me: “WT ring tailed F do you do with 200 gallons of Lube?”
    She: “Hide it and cry, it looks like.”

  9. Also make sure to note the items bought by other shoppers which include:

    – Accoutrements Horse Head Mask

    by Accoutrements
    – Fresh Whole Rabbit

    by Cloverdale
    – 3B Scientific W43014 Testicle Self Exam Form

    by 3B Scientific
    – Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

    by Cameron Pierce
    – The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

    The Mountain
    – Uranium Ore

    by Images SI Inc.
    – Black Friday 2011 Bundle: LittleBigPl…

    by Sony Computer Enterta…
    – Canned Unicorn Meat

    by ThinkGeek
    – Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

    by Jumpin Banana

  10. Some friends of mine put on an event a while back that required gallons of lube.  Turns out you can get powdered stuff that’s intended for animal husbandry applications pretty cheap.  Cheaper than this, anyway, and easier to ship.  And it apparently cleaned off of the bounce castle / water slide just fine.  I’ve heard the kiddie pool full of pudding didn’t do as well.

  11. I worked in a Cosmetic manufacturing facility and one of the pieces of machinery was an industrial Homogenizer (Commonly used for homogenizing your milk)  It required a special Lubricant that was shipped in a 5 gallon pail with “HOMO LUBE” printed on it in giant letters on its side.  I always enjoyed thinking of all the UPS handlers wondering about the pails final destination.

  12. BoingBoing gets affiliate credit for this link right?  Because, you know, if any demographic had a protracted need for a hogshead of lube it would be the this readership…

  13. I didn’t really laugh out loud until i scrolled to the bottom and saw this: – “55 gallon drum of lube OR hello kitty and a shoe” also we might email someone a 55 gallon drum of lube.

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