The Ballad of Justin Bloody Bieber, sung by 82-year-old gentleman

Video Link: "Justin, Bloody Justin, Bloody Bieber," by Hugh Oliver (website).

It is reckoned that he's hotter
Than Harry fucking Potter,
His hairdo like some wagging gold retriever,
Looking lovely, looking cute
In his pater-knity suit,
Our Justin, bloody Justin, bloody Bieber.

The scorpion on the wall is a nice touch.

(thanks, Joe Sabia!)