Comments on: Shit girls say to girls with breast cancer http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html Brain candy for Happy Mutants Tue, 21 May 2013 08:50:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: blueelm http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354803 blueelm Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:33:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354803 I think if you think of this more as people with cancer having a laugh with other cancer patients and survivors about the experience it might be less threatening. Also, ambushed? Really? How inconsiderate of them. You'd almost think that something else was on their minds  :/ I think if you think of this more as people with cancer having a laugh with other cancer patients and survivors about the experience it might be less threatening. Also, ambushed? Really? How inconsiderate of them. You’d almost think that something else was on their minds  :/

]]> By: abstract_reg http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354537 abstract_reg Sun, 26 Feb 2012 16:59:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354537 The alternative to "guys and girls" would be "guys and dolls" and I think we picked the lesser of two evils. The alternative to “guys and girls” would be “guys and dolls” and I think we picked the lesser of two evils.

]]> By: MBC http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354518 MBC Sun, 26 Feb 2012 15:48:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354518 I hear ya: http://ihatebreastcancer.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/stuff-people-say-to-people-with-metastatic-breast-cancer/ I hear ya:
http://ihatebreastcancer.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/stuff-people-say-to-people-with-metastatic-breast-cancer/

]]> By: Incipient Madness http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354429 Incipient Madness Sun, 26 Feb 2012 07:53:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354429  It's a little better here. The Harris County Gold Card system is pretty good if you can manage the red tape. You even get to go to to Ben Taub for special diagnostics at a one of the most awesome hospitals in the nation. But you won't always get treatment.   It’s a little better here. The Harris County Gold Card system is pretty good if you can manage the red tape. You even get to go to to Ben Taub for special diagnostics at a one of the most awesome hospitals in the nation. But you won’t always get treatment. 

]]> By: benher http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354395 benher Sun, 26 Feb 2012 05:02:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354395 "You know what you should do..."  I know people are just trying to be supportive and they're grasping at straws for how to do it, but this one always makes me chuckle. At least their hearts are in the right place.  “You know what you should do…” 

I know people are just trying to be supportive and they’re grasping at straws for how to do it, but this one always makes me chuckle. At least their hearts are in the right place. 

]]> By: dumbbunny http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354303 dumbbunny Sat, 25 Feb 2012 22:18:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354303 I think I am saying the right things:             I am so sorry.             When is your next appointment? I am coming with you.             I will be here for the duration, even if you just need someone to hold your hair while you puke.             I love you. I make sure they know I will drive them to every appointment, make them yogurt smoothies and easy food, and essentially will be there for any need that may arise. But then, I don’t have casual friends, only dear ones for which I would sincerely do anything. I am at a loss for what to do with an acquaintance to which you would not put your life on hold for. I think I am saying the right things:

            I am so sorry.
            When is your next appointment? I am coming with you.
            I will be here for the duration, even if you just need someone to hold your hair while you puke.
            I love you.

I make sure they know I will drive them to every appointment, make them yogurt smoothies and easy food, and essentially will be there for any need that may arise. But then, I don’t have casual friends, only dear ones for which I would sincerely do anything. I am at a loss for what to do with an acquaintance to which you would not put your life on hold for.

]]> By: Todd Bradley http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354299 Todd Bradley Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:56:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354299 I'm pretty sure she's referring to people wanting to feel her implants. I’m pretty sure she’s referring to people wanting to feel her implants.

]]> By: MetalPorkchop http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354282 MetalPorkchop Sat, 25 Feb 2012 21:02:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354282 I call my my female friends and coworkers ladies, even women that aren't my friends, like say the receptionists at my doctor's.  When I leave a room, and it's all females, I always say bye ladies, or for ex., bye ladies and Adam.  When I had to go into schools to do presentations, and deal with girls, sometimes, if there was a group of them, I'd refer to them as ladies.  I've never had anyone be offended or confused by that term.  "Woman" sounds kind of cold, and conservative, I use it in reference to females I don't know, as in, "that woman over there".  Hey Ladies... I call my my female friends and coworkers ladies, even women that aren’t my friends, like say the receptionists at my doctor’s.  When I leave a room, and it’s all females, I always say bye ladies, or for ex., bye ladies and Adam.  When I had to go into schools to do presentations, and deal with girls, sometimes, if there was a group of them, I’d refer to them as ladies.  I’ve never had anyone be offended or confused by that term.  “Woman” sounds kind of cold, and conservative, I use it in reference to females I don’t know, as in, “that woman over there”.  Hey Ladies…

]]> By: Jenny Lidice Saldaña http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354280 Jenny Lidice Saldaña Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:53:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354280 For the record, @picaflor:disqus was right on the translation of what I say in Spanish.  Here's a link to the preview of our web series, Happy Cancer Chick.  Hope you like it!  http://youtu.be/KwV83k6Sb7g For the record, @picaflor:disqus was right on the translation of what I say in Spanish.  Here’s a link to the preview of our web series, Happy Cancer Chick.  Hope you like it!  http://youtu.be/KwV83k6Sb7g

]]> By: picaflor http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354273 picaflor Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:17:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354273  Not surprised. This also happens all the time with pregnant women without their giving consent.  Not surprised.

This also happens all the time with pregnant women without their giving consent.

]]> By: picaflor http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354271 picaflor Sat, 25 Feb 2012 20:15:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354271  Do you have health insurance? Because if not I can drive you to the welfare office. sidenote: My mom was on welfare and had cancer. Nightmarish. Their stance is stall until it's too late. You know, why save poor people?  Do you have health insurance? Because if not I can drive you to the welfare office.

sidenote: My mom was on welfare and had cancer. Nightmarish. Their stance is stall until it’s too late. You know, why save poor people?

]]> By: Cefeida http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354263 Cefeida Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:52:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354263 I thought she was offering to drive the other woman to the clinic. I thought she was offering to drive the other woman to the clinic.

]]> By: Cefeida http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354262 Cefeida Sat, 25 Feb 2012 19:51:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354262 I'm trying to figure out what WOULD be the right thing to say. Any help? I was getting a diagnosis just a few weeks ago that luckily turned out to be something benign, but while I was waiting for the appointment my mind started going to 'if this is cancer, how will I tell people in a way that doesn't make them feel super awkward?' Never did figure it out. Maybe I will on the next scare. I’m trying to figure out what WOULD be the right thing to say. Any help?

I was getting a diagnosis just a few weeks ago that luckily turned out to be something benign, but while I was waiting for the appointment my mind started going to ‘if this is cancer, how will I tell people in a way that doesn’t make them feel super awkward?’ Never did figure it out. Maybe I will on the next scare.

]]> By: Dominic Martello http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354210 Dominic Martello Sat, 25 Feb 2012 17:40:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354210 Brilliant. Brilliant.

]]> By: MrBillWest http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354118 MrBillWest Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:27:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354118 Thanks for the article. It was very helpful. It is often very hard f to know the right thing to say to anyone going through a anything difficult in life. Thanks for the article. It was very helpful. It is often very hard f to know the right thing to say to anyone going through a anything difficult in life.

]]> By: penguinchris http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354102 penguinchris Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:18:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354102 It's this exactly - "woman" has become very formal, or something you use to describe someone older than you. Women your own age (or younger) are girls, for younger people anyway (30's and under?) It’s this exactly – “woman” has become very formal, or something you use to describe someone older than you. Women your own age (or younger) are girls, for younger people anyway (30′s and under?)

]]> By: Donna Maderer http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354092 Donna Maderer Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:39:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354092 Is there a transcript of this anywhere? I'm deaf and the google closed captioning is wicked random and inaccurate (based on the little amount of lipreading I can do). Is there a transcript of this anywhere? I’m deaf and the google closed captioning is wicked random and inaccurate (based on the little amount of lipreading I can do).

]]> By: devophill http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354087 devophill Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:22:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354087 "¿Tu tiene seguro?" Seguro, security, but in this context it means insurance. "Pero <i>something something something</i> la Clinica de Welfare" Something like, "Because you shouldn't be going to the Welfare Clinic". Somebody correct me! “¿Tu tiene seguro?” Seguro, security, but in this context it means insurance. “Pero something something something la Clinica de Welfare” Something like, “Because you shouldn’t be going to the Welfare Clinic”. Somebody correct me!

]]> By: Kathryn Cramer http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354083 Kathryn Cramer Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:15:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354083 The opening monologue of the play Wit has a long discussion of the cancer-patient protagonist's feelings about the medical staff's use of "How are you feeling?" The opening monologue of the play Wit has a long discussion of the cancer-patient protagonist’s feelings about the medical staff’s use of “How are you feeling?”

]]> By: Jonbly Herbert http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354074 Jonbly Herbert Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:38:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354074 To which presumably the answer is "What you can do to help, girlfriend, is get off yo lazy ass and find me a cure!" Seriously, half these responses are perfectly reasonable for people you've just ambushed with "Cancer!" People don't know how to react in that kind of situation. To which presumably the answer is “What you can do to help, girlfriend, is get off yo lazy ass and find me a cure!”

Seriously, half these responses are perfectly reasonable for people you’ve just ambushed with “Cancer!” People don’t know how to react in that kind of situation.

]]> By: Claudette McCubbin http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354072 Claudette McCubbin Sat, 25 Feb 2012 11:25:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354072 we dominicans can deal with everything and anything and make the best of it! Adelante!!!!!!! we dominicans can deal with everything and anything and make the best of it! Adelante!!!!!!!

]]> By: SomeGuyNamedMark http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354027 SomeGuyNamedMark Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:56:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354027 I agree, sounds like anything you say is offensive or sounds stupid and if you don't say anything then you are insensitive and unsupportive. I agree, sounds like anything you say is offensive or sounds stupid and if you don’t say anything then you are insensitive and unsupportive.

]]> By: NelC http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354022 NelC Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:49:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354022 I think I can understand it. It's not just the common primate reaction that leads to rubbing or kissing booboos better (or groping pregnant bellies), it might also be down to the fact that women are told to examine their breasts regularly, but few have much of an idea what they're looking for. Does a cancer feel like a blocked pore? Does it feel different from a cyst? Is it smooth or, well, lumpy? Is it sensitive or inert? Unless they're talking about feeling an implant, which I guess they might not consider part of the person's body. Still pretty forward of them. I think I can understand it. It’s not just the common primate reaction that leads to rubbing or kissing booboos better (or groping pregnant bellies), it might also be down to the fact that women are told to examine their breasts regularly, but few have much of an idea what they’re looking for. Does a cancer feel like a blocked pore? Does it feel different from a cyst? Is it smooth or, well, lumpy? Is it sensitive or inert?

Unless they’re talking about feeling an implant, which I guess they might not consider part of the person’s body. Still pretty forward of them.

]]> By: NelC http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1354020 NelC Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:38:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1354020 I never knew what to say to my friend who got breast cancer. I sometimes felt like I should have apologised for getting her to go get the second opinion on her lump that led to the right diagnosis and treatment, but that really would have been stupid. I never knew what to say to my friend who got breast cancer. I sometimes felt like I should have apologised for getting her to go get the second opinion on her lump that led to the right diagnosis and treatment, but that really would have been stupid.

]]> By: Antinous / Moderator http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353997 Antinous / Moderator Sat, 25 Feb 2012 04:55:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353997 This was a reference to breast-feeding, so it was definitely about adult women. This was a reference to breast-feeding, so it was definitely about adult women.

]]> By: BookGuy http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353971 BookGuy Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:43:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353971 So, around 1:22 or 1:23, did I understand that correctly?  People ask to touch your breasts?  I mean....really?  The rest of it didn't surprise me, per se (which is different from being disappointed by stupid things people say or do), but that threw me.  I just can't fathom any situation, cancer or no, where the logical response to, "I have an injury/illness in a part of my body" is "Can I touch it?" So, around 1:22 or 1:23, did I understand that correctly?  People ask to touch your breasts?  I mean….really?  The rest of it didn’t surprise me, per se (which is different from being disappointed by stupid things people say or do), but that threw me.  I just can’t fathom any situation, cancer or no, where the logical response to, “I have an injury/illness in a part of my body” is “Can I touch it?”

]]> By: Deanna Zandt http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353968 Deanna Zandt Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:35:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353968 I found this article really helpful when I was helping my family deal with a cancer diagnosis: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html I found this article really helpful when I was helping my family deal with a cancer diagnosis: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html

]]> By: Jonathan Hendry http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353967 Jonathan Hendry Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:31:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353967 On the one hand, "aboriginal female" makes it sound like they're talking about orangutans or something. And given how they've been treated by Australia, they probably *have* been spoken of in that sense, within the past half century. On the other hand, "females" is a shorter way of referring to (adult) women and (non-adult) girls collectively than "women and girls". On the one hand, “aboriginal female” makes it sound like they’re talking about orangutans or something. And given how they’ve been treated by Australia, they probably *have* been spoken of in that sense, within the past half century.

On the other hand, “females” is a shorter way of referring to (adult) women and (non-adult) girls collectively than “women and girls”.

]]> By: Jonathan Hendry http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353963 Jonathan Hendry Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:25:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353963 My ex-sister-in-law *did* meet Lance Armstrong. She's big on bicycling, and rode in his big cancer ride event in Texas. Got to hang out at his house and everything. Anyway, I lol'd at that. My ex-sister-in-law *did* meet Lance Armstrong. She’s big on bicycling, and rode in his big cancer ride event in Texas. Got to hang out at his house and everything.

Anyway, I lol’d at that.

]]> By: rocketpjs http://boingboing.net/2012/02/24/shit-girls-say-to-girls-with-b.html#comment-1353962 rocketpjs Sat, 25 Feb 2012 03:22:00 +0000 http://boingboing.net/?p=145563#comment-1353962 How about 'I am here to help in any way I can.'  Or perhaps 'what can I do to help?' How about ‘I am here to help in any way I can.’  Or perhaps ‘what can I do to help?’

]]>