Dan Fogelman's script for the Gary Coleman-Emmanuel Lewis Project

Zack sez, "Screenwriter Dan Fogelman (CRAZY STUPID LOVE, CARS, many others) wrote a screenplay several years ago called THE GARY COLEMAN-EMMANUEL LEWIS PROJECT, where the two diminutive former child stars save the world. Google searches prove that yes, this is a real script, and apparently Michael Bay was at one point rumored to be producing this. You can experience the strangeness yourself through this downloadable PDF."


A slick BMW pulls up, parks. A pair of small, well-heeled FEET drop from the car. We pull up and REVEAL:

EMMANUEL LEWIS. Yes, that Emmanuel Lewis. He of Webster fame. He’s got a newspaper under his arm, a smile on his face, and life by the balls.

He really does. Dude looks good. Still has the sweet face we remember. Sure, he’s put on a little weight, but haven’t we all? He wears a purple dress shirt, fitted, tucked into pair of tailored dress pants. Impeccable haircut. With a skip in his step he ENTERS...


A HOSTESS greets him.

Morning, Manny

What’s cookin’, good-lookin’?

Gary Coleman – Emmanuel Lewis Project, The (Thanks, Zack!)


  1. The wonderful thing about the Infinite Universes Theory is that not only in an alternate universe could Gary still be alive to make the movie with Emanuel, but that in another alternate Gary and Emanuel actually lived this adventure.

    1. But in the Universe where Emanuel and Coleman make the movie, the rip in meta-space and meta-time would consume the Multiverse and reverse eternal inflation.

      And so, as the energy to separate two quarks would make another two quarks, Emanuel and Coleman can NEVER be together.  :-P

  2. Couldn’t we just swap Andy Milonakis in for Gary Coleman? The world mustn’t be deprived of this pure uncut cinematic crazy.

    “Whut up, Gary!”
    “Hi, Emmanuel.”
    “Nah, now I’m Manny Moe, as in, ‘I don’t know how Manny Moe bitches I can fit in my ride!'”

  3. I always wanted to see a team up of Grace Jones, Garry Coleman and Ruth Buzzy team up in a cop film.

    1. Hmmm…Sounds like a good line-up for an adult film.

      My favourite Gary Coleman role of all-time was the bit he did in “Postal” by Running with Scissors. His finest hour.

  4. I’ve wasted many a happy hour reading worse scripts, and watching worse actual movies.  I mean, it’s no 3,000 Miles to Graceland, but then again, it’s no Joe Dirt, either.

  5. I read part of it.  This takes place in Switzerland but the writer calls some people Swedish and references names like Bjorn .  Seriously, this guy seems to think that Switzerland and Sweden are the same thing.  Ah yes, both start with “Sw,” close enough.  Take a fucking trip or at least get a map.  How can this guy write scripts for million dollar Hollywood movies? (<— subtle sarcasm)

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