Guitarist sought for Metal Band

A Craigslist of Greatness:

** READ THIS ** Take a few seconds and read what I am into. Now imagine you contacting me and eventually calling me, and asking if I would like to play some blues. Or some 60s Rock. Or some Stone Temple Pilots. Or some Nickleback. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, AUSTIN? NO! The title says "Guitarist for Metal Band", not "Guitarist for chicken fucking, bluesy-riffs, and sonic diarrhea".

I don't care if it's real or not: Guitarist for Metal Band.

(via Mikael Jorgensen; photo: "Electric bass-guitar player surrounded with fire," by Sinelyov, via Shutterstock)