The road to riches is paved with zombies

Discuss

18 Responses to “The road to riches is paved with zombies”

  1. Ito Kagehisa says:

    Xeni, have you ever noticed that despite their popularity zombies are the least scary monsters ever?  They’re slow (usually), brainless (always), and have basically no supernatural powers, and all they do is kill and eat you.  They aren’t even immortal, you can just climb up a ladder with a few backpacks full of supplies and wait for them to rot away on a hot afternoon.

    Compare, now, the wolfman (who is a fast, clever, nearly unkillable shapeshifter who can curse you with a fate worse than death) or Dracula (all of the above plus he is more genteel and aristocratic than you are) or Frankenstein’s monster (who has superhuman strength, intellect, resistance to disease and cold, plus existential angst) or nearly any other classic monster.  Even Stephen King monsters (like clowns, old cars, and St. Bernards) are marginally scarier than zombies.

    Maybe that’s why zombies are so popular now, because they really aren’t very scary.  Or maybe just because it’s an easy Hallowe’en costume?  I dunno.

    • Brainspore says:

      Zombies are scary because they turn your own friends and family into mindless, infection-spreading monsters. What’s a scarier horror movie concept than knowing your own child will rise from the dead to kill you unless you blow her brains out? I’d rather take on the Wolfman any day.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        I’d rather take on the Wolfman any day.

        As would I, but with a somewhat different meaning for ‘take on’.

      • Ito Kagehisa says:

        But all children are mindless, infection-spreading monsters already!  The littler ones smell bad, too!

        OK, I’m kidding.  But my kids could take down a couple dozen zombies each, and outrun or outclimb any number of them.  It’s just not scary to me.

    • Tchoutoye says:

      Zombies, the mutant type rather than the voudon type, are popular because they symbolize the mutation of rational humans into brainless consumers.

      • sockdoll says:

        “…the mutation of rational humans into brainless consumers.”

        And not only that, but the survivors get to ransack all of the deserted stores and shopping malls and take whatever they want FOR FREE!

    • Numbers dude, numbers. You have 1 drac and 1 stein. but 4 billion zombies. get it?

      • Ito Kagehisa says:

        OK, I guess I see your point.  But zombies are so easy to beat I can’t see them ever reaching dangerous numbers.   And even if you do, zero zombies can climb trees…

        • Brainspore says:

          Most horror movie monsters kill individuals. Zombie plagues take down entire civilizations. The question isn’t just whether you (assuming the role of a protagonist) survive, it’s whether you even want to anymore.

  2. WhyBother says:

    Well for one, being eaten is horrifying. Not just terrifying, horrifying. As in, “fine, put the chainsaw wherever you want, just keep that sausage-making freak away from me.” On a primal level, being eaten registers as much, much worse than just being killed.

    Second, zombies don’t kill, they recruit. As disgusting as they are, so you will become. Whatever your intentions are in life, that will is subverted in undeath. As quick and smart as you are, the fresh zombies are probably similarly so. And this ignores how horrifying it is wrestling with the “which is worse” scenario of either being eaten by your grandmother, or bludgeoning her repeatedly until she stops twitching. They’re called “the blue collar monsters,” because they are us.

    And finally, they’re not alone. For them, every kill is a two body swing. Other monsters are a singular threat, and there’s some small comfort in being part of a herd. When you and a friend are chased by a werewolf, you can trip your friend. Zombies turn a number advantage into a huge disadvantage. You’re utterly powerless. The end is inevitable.

  3. Brainspore says:

    Run!? Come on, they’re ZOMBIES. A brisk walk should be more than sufficient.

  4. I’ve been using the app and sure enough, even when I’m heading up a hill, if the app says I need to speed up to avoid zombies, I speed up.  Stupid app!  ;)

  5. BombBlastLightingWaltz says:

    When the lights go out and the fuel supply stops. There will be zombies everywhere. 

Leave a Reply