Giant USA sunglasses

You know what these titanic, $260 map-of-the-continental-USA sunglasses need? An Alaska barrette and a Hawai'i epaulet. Seriously.

(Thanks, Fipi Lele!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: america fuck yeah • aspirational plutocrat • fashion • Funny • Gadgets • patriotism • Weird

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CaptainPedge

And also some covering over the left eye. These could really screw up your vision
- http://twitter.com/TerryBorder Terry Border
  
  Yeah, the Great Lakes make these half-way useless.
- Fogbert
  
  The remedy here seems straight forward to me. The U.S. must annex Canada from Quebec City to Winnipeg.
thecardcheat

why?
- exile
  
  Because the shadow cast by the USA is not yet pervasive enough?
Mister44

Fugly and impractical. Do not want.
ChickieD

This is actually THE ugliest design I have ever seen. There are so many ways this could have been cute, and this is not any one of those.
- dr_awkward
  
  Please enumerate (some of) the ways this could have been cute, because I can’t see it.
  - Donald Petersen
    
    Only one I can think of: if these shades were the shape of Tennessee.
  - http://mjfgates.myopenid.com/ mjfgates
    
    Two smaller USA’s, one on each eye. Okay, still not “cute”, but it would be tons better than this.
suburbanhick

They need to be rose-colored.
- http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
  
  A red USA? Never!
  - tnmc
    
    Sorry, I’m confused.
    
    Are you a Pinko Liberal who doesn’t want a GOP America or are you a Wingnut who doesn’t want a Commie America?
    - http://www.matthewpetty.com/ Matthew Petty
      
      Actually I’m English, so red would mean Labour. But I would vote Labour… except they went centre-right under Blair… shit now I’m confused.
http://lemoutan.blogspot.com/ Lemoutan

Rather looks as if somebody has vomited on her.
http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

The crossed-eye lawsuits will be flying hot and heavy against these things, based on the class action precedent of Carl Reiner et al v. Navin Johnson.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1595533387 Bob Scheu

Blame Michigan. Again.
Little John

This post is tagged as “weird” but the way the left-eye vision is treated is, to me, rather eerie.
- http://twitter.com/erg79 Evan G.
  
  ISWYDT
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Huron to his little game.
    - http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers
      
      No need to act superior.
    - CastanhasDoPara
      
      I am also Ontario.
markbellis

They’re Bono-worthy!
crummett

Does it come with blinders?
http://noctilucent-studios.blogspot.com/ Noctilucent Studios

This woman looks EXACTLY like an old flame of mine….
tedrock

An Alaska Monocle would be really sweet! (and perhaps a Hawaii choker)
petertrepan

Yo dawg, I heard you like America.
petertrepan

Wait, are these the new goggles that are supposed to be integrated with Google Maps?
http://twitter.com/feralchimp feralchimp

“Polarized”
http://twitter.com/Girzok Gregory Villa

Oh, say can you see?
blueelm

Isn’t this the normal mode of vision for most US citizens?
ROSSINDETROIT

Bay City MI is the inadequate covering for the left pupil. In other ways, Bay City is perfectly adequate.
Brainspore

Remember the flag-pin controversy of 2008? Soon every would-be politician is going to have to either don a pair of these or have their patriotism publicly called into question.
CameronLacey

so dumb. it looks like someone crapped on her face.
rtresco

You have to admire the fine detail work on the UP.
Donald Petersen

A Hawaii epaulet would bear an unfortunate resemblance to a shoulderful of bird shit. Hawaii deserves better, and wisely opted out of this portrait.
- http://twitter.com/bazimmerman Brad Zimmerman
  
  If the rest of the states had their say she would be left with just the frames.
vrplumber

I can’t imagine the thought process that came up with such an impractical shape for eyewear, let alone actually manufacturing that monstrosity.
- penguinchris
  
  Indeed, this would be funny if it was a one-off joke, but it appears that someone’s serious about it and thinks people might actually buy one, and that’s kind of sad.
  - http://disqus.com/Kimmoth/ Kimmo
    
    Say what? I thought it wasn’t bad as an artistic comment…
    
    But as an actual pair of sunnies, could they be more retarded?
pjcamp

Sunglasses cover the eyes.

Watcha got there are nose glasses.
pjcamp

If you flip it, it covers both eyes. And who the hell says Michigan is up anyway? Flipped would certainly make Florida more interesting.
CastanhasDoPara

Crooked, unbalanced and tilted to the right. Ya know… this is actually a pretty accurate model of the current US. (Still wouldn’t be caught dead wearing those pieces of junk but to each their own I guess.)
An Infinitude of Tortoises

Watch out for Florida — it’ll poke your eye out! And the corresponding feature on the glasses seems rather dangerous, too.