Great novels without the first line


22 Responses to “Great novels without the first line”

  1. JeffF says:

    If you do any signings you should write it in, or get a stamp made to stamp it in and sign that. :)

    • In fact, that’s one of many things I’m offering to do. I’ll hand write it in, send you a bookmark, a temporary tattoo…

      • robotnik says:

        Hey, where did the first line of your comment go?

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        Do you know that, when I try to close the page at that link, it produces a pop-up demanding that I confirm my desire to leave the page?

        • nosehat says:

           Happened to me too.  The back button, home button, and even closing the browser were all hijacked by the page.  Bad form indeed!

          I had to manually kill the browser process to safely leave the page.

  2. chaopoiesis says:

    Pop quiz: given the following first line, summarize the hypothetical novel:

        That’s Mary: when life gives you SARS, make sarsaparilla!

  3. Timothy Krause says:

    Everything in the Oblonsky household was in uproar.

    Way better than that turd of an opener that Tolstoy dropped. Happy families, unhappy families, my ass, start with the story!

  4. show me says:

    A person much more cynical than I might think that this is a great way to promote a new novel. ;)

  5. What a great response to a potentially heart-crushing issue. Mary, you just made another sale. I just downloaded it from iBooks, and can verify that by pointing out that your second paragraph contains a name that will be very familiar to anyone who watched ’60s TV shows featuring flying saucers.

    I’m looking forward to the read, and best of luck with your new novel. (Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?)

  6. pKp says:

    Heyy, I got 100% !

    Pretty neat non-evil marketing move. Commendable.

    • Jonathan Badger says:

      Exactly. I thought at first while I was taking the quiz “Boy, I must have a photographic memory; I’m awesome”, but it turns out everyone is *supposed* to get 100% (assuming they’ve read the novels)

      • dagfooyo says:

        Yeah, it was a lot easier than I’d thought, mainly because nearly every second line contained the name of a character or some other story-specific wording that made it pretty hard to miss if you’d read the novels.  Or even if you hadn’t.  Never read A Tale of Two Cities but I got it just by recognizing the line as being an apt one to follow the famous first line.

  7. rtresco says:

    As a compulsive completist, looks like I’ll see you at the UW reading on Friday for my hand-written first sentence!

  8. semiotix says:

    Unfortunately, the first webpage of the linked webpage seems to have been accidentally omitted.

  9. Moby Dick would have been SHIT without the first line.  What – the narrator doesn’t introduce himself formally AND the baddie gets away in the end AND the narrative is padded out with outdated interludes of cetacean biology?  Shit sandwich.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      Could be worse.  Remember what woe befell Susan Andersen.

    • Daneel says:

      I never understood how Herman Melville’s Big Book of Whales got to be considered a great novel. That book needed an editor badly. The hundreds of pages of tedious whaling trivia made it such a slog and ruined all the really good stuff that was buried under it.

  10. politeruin says:

    Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of the Victory Mansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.

    Hmmm it technically works i suppose.

  11. SoItBegins says:

    Call me Ishmael.

  12. quitterjunior says:

    Avast, ye 404!

  13. niktemadur says:

    Harlan Ellison’s short story “How’s The Nightlife In Cissalda?” would not be the same without the first line:

    “When they unscrewed the time capsule, preparatory to helping temponaut Enoch Mirren to disembark, they found him doing a disgusting thing with a disgusting thing.”

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