Swans do not mess around: "A man has drowned after being attacked by a swan, which knocked him out of his kayak and stopped him swimming to shore." [BBC]

  • awjt

    Let go of the bag of bread?

  • http://www.mynameisjay.com/ Jay

    I thought this was the Onion for a second. This is the perfect material for a made-for-tv syfy channel original movie.

    • jnordb

      Megaswan Vs. Carpasaurus 3. As long as it is starring Jaleel White, it will be a hit.

  • koko szanel

    it has begun

    • awjt

       Swannageddon.  It was propheswanned.

  • Cactaur

    Zeus needs to change his strategy for meeting women.

  • jarmstrong

    More on this tragedy can be found here.  The gentleman had apparently introduced those very swans to the pond some years ago in order to control the goose population.

    • retepslluerb

      Thanks for the info.

      I’m torn between sympathy for the family and annoyance with the newspaper

      You Might Also Like:
      Police: Romeoville Man Had Sex With 14-Year-Old Girl Near Bolingbrook School

      Police issue 85 tickets during roadside check

      Man dies after being pulled from pond in Des Plaines

      Yeah, that’s certainly stuff I “like.”

      WhoTF thinks up these titles?

      • jarmstrong

        What kind of person do they think I am?

        You might also like:
        Half-naked woman in bowling alley, dog attacks child, and more
        The Price of Prom
        Police issue 85 tickets during roadside check

  • http://gruffguano.wordpress.com/ Gruff Guano

    He should have whacked the thing with his paddle.   In fact, paddle whacking should be a mandatory skill for kayakers.  

    No wait…

  • Preston Sturges

    This has happened before.

    He could have put his head in the inverted kayak and swam to shore, unless like many flatwater paddlers he failed to put floatation bags in his boat. 

  • Roger Dudek

    I guess this was his swan dive.

  • Bonobo

    I don’t understand why he could not overpower a swan. Yes, they are large birds, the article says “up to 28 lbs” and very fierce. But it isn’t like they can do a substantial amount of damage to you (beyond broken fingers and bruises) if you grab hold and wring its neck is it? Am I missing something? Maybe he was dazed from the initial attack or breathed some water.

    • Antinous / Moderator

      A swan or a goose can break your leg.

      • retepslluerb

        Yes, the same way a Chihuahua can rip out a humans throat. 

        I wouldn’t want to mess with them on water while wearing clothes, of course, but their threat level on ground is near zero unless you are afraid to hurt them.

    • marilove

      It’s hard to think straight in a situation like that, I’d imagine.  Not to mention all the water, which would make it difficult to get any kind of solid grip on anything, including solid ground.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/MNRM3AXED3WIRVGRTQ6TR4U2EA Patti Sundstrom

    I guess that was his swan song…..

  • jpeavy1

    Talk about your black swans…

    • Antinous / Moderator

      Black swans? I thought you said Blackwater swans.

  • miasm

    I’m willing to bet that swans are quite buoyant.