Fish attack!

(Via Subtropic Bob) Previously: Mean Monkey Mondays

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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James B

What is happening below the water line concerns me the most.
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OAUXAA362EXWLYVMPJOKLFB5JQ Incipient Madness
  
  It’s even more horrifying below the waterline. These waters are known to have schools of
  candriu in them.
  - Sparg
    
    I remember being thoroughly horrified upon reading about those nasty critters as a kid!
- Chuck
  
  So the piranhas weren’t trying to eat those guys, but merely put a halt to what they were doing in the water?
  - James B
    
    Perhaps with their sharp little teeth, yes, they may have been trying to put a halt to something best left to the imagination of the reader.
gwailo_joe

Yes, the covers are pretty spectacular. But I read MALE for the informative articles…

And what a thrilling and titillating series of exposes, I must say…
- Preston Sturges
  
  And Blue Boy, and Torso, and Tool Box, and Zeus…….
Ihavenofuckingname

Is this the unicorn chaser for the ‘they hate you for being a girl’ post?
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  I sense an anti-male-attacked-by-swarms-of-enraged-animals bias in these magazines.
- Ultan
  
  When life gives you piranhas, you make piranha khukri.
Rich Keller

How do we alliterate this? Woebegotten Wet Wednesday, Midweek Muscle Masticators, Hump Day Hirsute Hacking..? I’m at a loss here, but at least now I know what my Big Jim action figure was up to when I wasn’t around.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Wet Willy Wednesday
  - PhosPhorious
    
    Hungry Halibut Humpday
planettom

Those No-Limit Girls Of Lake County look like piranhas, I tells ya!
Mike Johnson

I went on an Amazon river cruise, mostly to collect fish. Piranhas were everywhere but that didn’t keep us out of the water. Then one morning my buddy Howard and I decided to use a big net, and sort of scoop it up and under some floating plants near the shore. It was difficult — the net was maybe 6 feet by 15 feet, with Howard at one end, me at the other. Where we started, the water was twice as deep as I am tall, so I had to tread water while maneuvering the thing. Then as we got closer to shore, the water grew more shallow, but it was still a sticky mud bottom, with plenty of submerged branches posing a hazard and getting in our way.
A sharp branch scraped my calf as I wrestled with the net, then scraped it again. I thought, “I should have worn jeans this time!” Then I remembered I *was* wearing jeans, and then I got scraped again. Standing still, through my jeans — it wasn’t a tree branch. I panicked. Suddenly, it didn’t feel like a scrape anymore, it felt like a piranha prising a walnut-sized gobbet of meat from my leg.

I did what I had to to get to the shore, through the branches and plants and a wide ribbon of shoe-stealing mud. My leg was being sliced up, but when I finally looked down, I saw nothing but my jeans. Then I realized something was inside the leg of my pants. I couldn’t shake it out. I did my best to crush it through the denim, grabbing it and folding it back on itself, breaking its spine.

It was a cichlid, roughly the size and heft of a quarter pounder with cheese. It had gotten up my pant leg and then flared out its dorsal fin, stabbing me with its long, needle-like bones. It was a pretty pale yellow.
- ROSSINDETROIT
  
  Good story but it’ll never make it past the editorial board. Make Howard a hot dame, the cichlid a crocodile, and work a bazooka in there. You’ve got yourself a deal.
  - pjcamp
    
    Thah bazooka is in mah pants!
    
    Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
- Mark Dow
  
  And give a name. Munoz?
GawainLavers

“I Spoored the Tiger Temple”?
- http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones
  
  Anatomically possible, but if it wakes up from the tranquilizer dart you’re in big trouble.
- ROSSINDETROIT
  
  It’s “I Spoored the Temple Tiger”. Which makes less sense than how I first read it: “I Spooned the Temple Tiger”.
- Guest
  
  A word much loved by Hemingway.
mack

Can we all please agree that the world *really* needs the meme “I SAW THEM EAT MUNOZ” ?

Thanks. I knew we could.
- HenryPootel
  
  Totally agree. “I SAW THEM EAT MUNOZ” is just asking to be a meme, or the first sentence in a fiction contest or something.
  - Guest
    
    Let them eat Muñoz
  - Preston Sturges
    
    If you google ”I SAW THEM EAT MUNOZ” you can find a collection of piranha attack magazine covers, including a Betty Page type gal being lowered into a glass piranha tank by a Nazi Col. Klink type character complete with a monacle.
  - pjcamp
    
    Call me Munoz. – Herman Munoz
    
    riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend
    of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
    Howth Castle and Munoz. — James Munoz
    
    OR
    
    Stately, plump Buck Munoz came from the stairhead,
    bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.
    
    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in
    possession of a good fortune, must be in want of Munoz. — Jane Munoz
    
    A screaming comes across Munoz. — Thomas Munoz
    
    Munoz, light of my life, fire of my loins. — Vladimir Namunoz
    
    It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking Munoz. — George Munoz
    
    The Sun shone, having no alternative, on Munoz. — Samuel Munoz
    
    The sky above the port was the color of Munoz, tuned to a dead channel. — William Munoz
    
    OR
    
    They set a slamhound on Turner’s trail in New Delhi, slotted it to his pheromones and the color of his Munoz.
    
    He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf
    Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking Munoz. — Ernest Munoz
    
    Of all the things that drive men to sea, the most common
    disaster, I’ve come to learn, is Munoz. — Charles Munoz
    
    I, Tiberius Munoz Drusus Nero Germanicus
    This-that-and-the-other (for I shall not trouble you yet with all
    my titles) who was once, and not so long ago either, known to my
    friends and relatives and associates as “Munoz the Idiot,” or
    “That Munoz,” or “Munozthe Stammerer,” or
    “Mu-Mu-Munoz” or at best as “Poor Uncle Munoz,” am now
    about to write this strange history of my life; — Robert Munoz
    
    Two glass panes with dirt between and little tunnels from Munoz to Munoz — Samuel R. Munoz
    
    I lived long enough to see the cure for death; to see the rise of the
    Bitchun Society, to learn ten languages; to compose three symphonies; to
    realize my boyhood dream of taking up residence in Munoz; — Cory Munoz
    
    I could do this all night.
- PhosPhorious
  
  I saw what you did there. . . YOU ATE MUNOZ!!!!
- Navin_Johnson
  
  “This one’s for Muñoz!” (stabs piranha in eye)
- pjcamp
  
  Mmmmmmmm! Munoz!
SomeGuyNamedMark

I’d love to read the articles behind these catchy covers and titles. “Bob, we need a story on the lust crazed woman of some generic county. You done with the ‘weasels ripped my flesh’ article?”
ROSSINDETROIT

Magazines like this will never be made again. See what you E-reader early adopters are doing to Man Culture? The only reason anyone would buy this is because the splashy cover looks good on a stand in the tobacco store and what the hell. We’ll all be weak losers now because we don’t buy lurid adventure magazines on a whim while picking up a carton of Camels.
And… posted by a Man.
Ashley Yakeley

This cover would work so much better if “girls” were in quotes.
travtastic

What always hits me first when I see these is how accurate the artwork can be.

I’m not impressed by the actual artwork, but by the fact that I think some dude actually posed like that for a reference shot.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I have recently come to realize that several of the protagonists of various SF books, as pictured on the covers, are in fact models from the Undergear catalog.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Example.
Preston Sturges

This guy has compiled several mens mag covers featuring piranhas

http://www.menspulpmags.com/2010/04/mens-pulp-mag-piranhas-vs-syfys-mega.html?zx=9bad9d94064cbf98

And this one is way better because it has a dame in a slip being lowered into a fish tank by a Nazi (and yes, he has a monical)

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_5XvBYfxU_dM/S8VJlJrVrgI/AAAAAAAAJS8/31XXGsL_I_4/Men%20Today%20-%201963%2002%20Feb%20-%20Nazis%2C%20piranhas%20cover%20by%20Norm%20Eastman-8×6%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax=800

The other thing that funny about piranha pictures is the random selection of fish cast in that role, from slightly grumpy looking Koi to perch, and just a couple months ago Nat Geo used a photo of what looked like a pompano.
Preston Sturges

Is commenting broken?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  When you ask if commenting is broken, do you mean an epistemological ‘broken’ or a phenomenological ‘broken’?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Ah. Here’s the thing. If you make a comment and it doesn’t go through, so you make the same comment three more times, the spam filter goes from thinking that you might be a spammer to being absolutely positive that you’re a spammer. You should expect commenting problems for about a week until the filter becomes desensitized to you.
  - Preston Sturges
    
    Probably because I was posting links….
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      Damn you for using the internet the way it’s meant to be used.
Preston Sturges

OMG!

This is where “Weasels Ripped My Flesh” came from

http://www.menspulpmags.com/2009/08/weasels-ripped-my-flesh-and-hooked-me.html?zx=5e3f3d85483f073d