Restaurant mental-health code violations

The New Yorker's Paul Simms rounds up a collection of "Restaurant Mental-Health-Code Violations" that fly like an arrow straight into the heart of the dining experience.

Server lies in wait to ask for orders until customer is at the climax of a long anecdote. Once orders are taken and customer has recapped anecdote up to the interruption point and is about to deliver the punch line, server returns to double-check on orders.

Restaurant Mental-Health-Code Violations (via Kottke)

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http://glitch.tl/ Michael Smith

When I was nine years old (in 1975) my family travelled to the UK by ship. There were two dining rooms, one for children and our table had one waiter who served us the whole time. We noticed that he had the habit of bringing out similar dishes at the same time, ie, that if three kids asked for one dish, he would carry those dishes out at the same time, then go back for a different type of dish.

There were eight kids at our table.

So on the last day we decided to test his waitering skills by ordering the same main course. He emerged from the kitchen with five dishes on each arm and delivered them safely to our table. It was great fun.
- digi_owl
  
  Must have had help loading up tho.
http://www.bauartcreative.com/ Bauart

This article defines the meaning of, “first-world problems”.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Defining “first-world problems” in internet comments defines “first-world solutions”.
  - Jay Converse
    
    +1 Meta
- dawdler
  
  I don’t know… sure, it’s a fluff piece — but should we not poke fun at anything until all suffering is ended? Does the whole “first world problems” thing smack of political correctness to anyone else? Maybe it’s just me.
- Moriarty
  
  Yes, because the author is clearly implying that these are serious issues.
  - Melinda9
    
    The piece is in Shouts and Murmurs which is for funny, not serious stuff. So I don’t think it’s supposed to be taken super seriously.
    - chgoliz
      
      Would you like me to look at your sarcasm meter? I’m pretty good at fixing gadgets.
      - Melinda9
        
        I got it working again on my own. (But I appreciate the offer.) (I would delete my stupid comment, but then the replies won’t make sense, so I guess I have to leave it.)(And at least I didn’t mention ‘first world problems’ – yay, me)
      - Antinous / Moderator
        
        Fun fact: You can edit any comment to read, “I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit” and it will make perfect sense no matter what the context.
      - Donald Petersen
        
        That would certainly be the only way to be sure.
    - RJ
      
      Mmyes.
http://www.ninzo.com/ Bob Dinitto

We all know servers have psychic powers and plenty of time to wait for just the right moment to do everything.
- corydodt
  
  OK, no, that is super-fucking-irritating. You don’t need psychic powers to know that someone is in the middle of a sentence.
  - corydodt
    
    And yeah, first world problems, I’m not really that serious. But I’m kind of serious.
  - http://www.facebook.com/thearmofbarlow Michael Miller
    
    But I do need psychic powers to know that exact second the asshole is ready to shut up so I can actually take his order. What I do not have is the time to stand around while douchebags finish up their stories. People that bitch about servers typically are the kind of people that have been handed everything their entire life and can’t deal with the fact that they are not, in fact, the most important person in the world, and that I have about twenty people that are much less of a pain in my ass to serve. Of course the person that bitches about interruptions is also the same asshole that bitches about slow service because I wasn’t standing right there behind them ready to wipe their ass the moment they were ready. Do this job long enough and you start to notice the type.
Dan Allard

I’ve always assumed that there is some secret code among waiters & waitresses that they will never, ever ask how your meal is unless you have a mouth full of food – thus eliciting the only response one can muster in that situation: ‘mmm-hmmm’.
- Donald Petersen
  
  Not at all. If the food and/or service genuinely suck, then it is incumbent upon us to reply as immediately and forthrightly as possible, preferably with the entire mouthful spilling down our lapel.
Dan Marshall

Worked as a dishwasher at a restaurant once. I remember them telling the servers that they should check if the customers needed anything while their mouths were full, since if they waited until the customer had a hand up, that meant they were Doing It Wrong. Which means that the servers were being trained to ask the customers questions when the customers’ mouths were full….
gwailo_joe

I despise the ‘birthday moment in restaurant’ when I am the focus…damn, I really hate that.

By now my friends understand my pathological aversion to frosted baked goods combined with song, so it’s rarely an issue…but I feel for others I see who have the wild eyed look of a trapped badger when candles are presented: I sympathize.

(I will however summon a pleasing baritone to join the chorus; nothing like a little schadenfreude to spice up a night on the town…)
http://twitter.com/stevepan1 Steve Pan

I like how the only one that would give me pause is the last one, where the latino bus crew is getting chewed out by white servers. The rest sound like standard, New Yorker-richguy whining.
penguinchris

Can’t find it on youtube but the waiter interrupting the joke right at the punchline multiple times was a sketch on A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
Roose_Bolton

I have a friend who will routinely ask the staff to do the whole birthday schtick for a person at our table who isn’t actually celebrating their birthday. The squirm factor is increased exponentially.
Jamie Adam

Wow. It must be nice to be able to afford going to restaurants, much less go to enough to make that kind of list of complaints.