Liar - Thief - Cheat - Selfish - Unsharing - Unloving - Unkind - Disloyal - Dishonorable - Unfaithful

201204301518I hope Bernard wasn't upset by the addendum to his grave marker.

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  1. Given that he died at 88, it’s hard to imagine who would have had both the desire and the gumption to make this addition.  Also, the weeds look a bit blurry where they overlap the stone.

    1. Aw, spoilsport!  I was hoping lots of people would be making frantic calls to their plot brokers to check their Post-Interment Editorial, Addenda, & Errata Policy!

  2. One of the differences with WikiCemetery is that there’s no BLP policy. But still, every grave needs a {cite}.

  3. I stand in solidarity with the rotting stiff corpse of BH Hopkins. Myself, being of unsound mind and a still a lying, thieving, cheating, selfish, unsharing, unloving, unkind, disloyal, dishonorable and unfaithful (isn’t that covered by “disloyal”?), yes I voted Republican every time and YES I’m glad I joined the Neptune Society.

    Back to you guys in the booth.

    1. “(isn’t that covered by “disloyal”?)”

      No. You can be “disloyal” to friends, cohorts, and country while keeping your pants on. It’s generally understood that when someone is accused of being “unfaithful” that the betrayal is of a romantic partner with whom you vowed to be sexually monogomous.

        1. Those friends of mine who have dogs will sometimes refer to their loyalty, but never to their faithfulness.

          Perhaps that’s a colloquial thing.

          Or maybe I hang out with a crowd that has more conventional relationships with their pets than those “people [who] talk about the faithfulness of their dogs” to which you are referring.

          BTW, I hope you don’t let those people dog sit for you…

          1.  I’d agree, to my ear faithfulness and loyalty are pretty much synonyms.
            That’s in brit English.

  4. How many of us, at the end, will be able to say that our lives really touched another human being?

  5. My grave will have a real showy obelisk made of expensive marble, and the engraving after my name will read:

    FORTY-EIGHTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
    INVENTOR OF THE SEAWATER ENGINE
    LEGENDARY SEXUAL INNOVATOR
    AND COMPETENT UTILITY INFIELDER

    A JEALOUS WORLD COULD NOT ACCEPT HIS GREATNESS
    AND TURNED ITS BACK ON HIM
    DESTROYING, AFTER HIS PASSING
    NOT ONLY HIS WORKS
    BUT ALL RECORD OF HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS
    SERIOUSLY
    PROVE THAT THEY DIDN’T

    THIS MONUMENT ALONE BEARS WITNESS
    TO A MAN WHO MAKES YOU LOOK PATHETIC, FRANKLY
    EVEN IF YOU’RE WHAT PASSES FOR IMPRESSIVE THESE DAYS

    MORS ULTIMA LINEA RERUM EST

    THAT’S LATIN
    HE WAS FLUENT IN IT
    SERIOUSLY, THIS ISN’T EVEN DOING JUSTICE TO HOW AWESOME HE WAS

    1. NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INNOVATION; A FAST MOVING GROUNDBALL TOOK A BAD HOP AND THE REST IS LEGENDARY

    2. Then again, Mr. Hopkins was assured that his headstone would read “loving husband and father.”

      1. It’s hard to imagine a cemetery allowing this.  But it kind of makes me want to try to figure out where my father is buried so that I can add some personal sentiments.

        HE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS A CROSS BETWEEN HUGH HEFNER AND ANDY WARHOL.
        WE REMEMBER HIM AS A CROSS BETWEEN TED BUNDY AND HOMER SIMPSON.

        1. You should do what Strindberg did “and on my grave I want a huge penis in red sandstone to be erected with the inscription  “Hic Jacet” (and here he lies)”

    3.  Death, the final frontier. 
      We’ll “water” your flowers for you when we come by. 

  6. I love this one from Hollywood cemetery in Richmond, Virginia… There is a fellow buried between his wife and mistress and their mutual headstone reads, “kept” and “satisfied”. I have a pic of it somewhere but in the meantime here is one I found on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/montanapets/6270634296/

    If you ever find yourself in Richmond and are a history buff of any stripe, definitely take  tour… its a beautiful cemetery with loads of great history and character.

  7. Not a fan of how it switches from nouns to adjectives after the first three, but at least they kept it consistent after that.

    1. Never mind comets or military-engineered viruses, this will be the motivating factor for Patient Zero Bernie Hopkins in the new zombie apocalypse novel, The Affronted Dead.

    2. …it’s poor form to go after him when he can’t defend himself.

      Seems to me that if he had been a half decent guy there would be other people willing to do the job for him.

    3. I spend a lot of time around genealogists, and can tell you many of us would love to find something like this.  Paper trails are very tedious.  We find a lot of NPEs (non-parental events) but usually no backstory to help us figure out how the people at the time dealt with the situation.  Or an individual family member who all of a sudden moves thousands of miles away — often to a new continent — and we don’t know if they were looking for work, had a rambling spirit, or were trying to stay one step ahead of the law.  To actually see proof that an ancestor was known to be a jerk would be fabulous.  Usually, the sands of time have worn down any personal story.  A lot of tombstones with only a start and end date on them, nothing else.

      We’d like to believe we descend from conquerors and explorers, but ancestors like Bernard P. Hopkins are more representative of most people’s ancestry.

  8. The graveyard where my father’s buried dates back to the 1700s, which isn’t uncommon back in the northeast US.  Most of the graves that I found notable were children under 1 year old (way too many of them), and a friend from college who’d disappeared on her way home from music lessons one day (we still hitchhiked back then) and wasn’t found until months later after spring thaw.

  9. “I hope Bernard wasn’t upset by the addendum to his grave marker.” 

    No, no he wasn’t. 
    Left him cold.
    He was dead already at that time.

    1.  No one could accuse Flashman of being unloving!
      (indiscriminate in his loving perhaps…)

  10. Oh, I thought those were his kid’s names.  I went to school with a guy named Disloyal Hopkins….I wonder if they’re related.

  11. I guess whoever did this decided that trashing him on his Facebook page just wasn’t enough…

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