Man sues BMW claiming motorbike gave him 2-year erection

Henry Wolf filed suit in San Francisco Superior Court against BMW North American and Corbin-Pacific, Inc., claiming that the "ridged seat" on his bike gave him priapism, a medical consisted in which the penis becomes erect and does not become flaccid for a long period. Apparently, Wolf's penis remained erect for two years. Gives crotch rockets a whole new meaning. From SF Gate:

Wolf said he rode the motorcycle in San Francisco on a four-hour round trip on May 1, 2010 and developed the priapism soon after.

Wolf “has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride,” his attorney, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito wrote in the lawsuit. “He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.”

"Man sues BMW after motorcycle seat allegedly causes 2-year erection" (Thanks, Rick Pescovitz!)

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  Pics or GTFO.

  • [SedanChair]

    What then? 

    “Ayup, that’s a 2-year-old boner if I’ve ever seen one”

    • [juepucta]

      there might be photographic evidence, you know? he might have bult a laptop/tablet stand around it. or maybe use it to hang the dry cleaning while waiting for the bus. maybe there are cobwebs. you never know, man.

    • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

      Careful, posting pics of 2-year-old boners will get you in prison.

• [mbaren]

  Obviously the greatest gift the marketing department at BMW has ever received.

• [IamInnocent]

  BMW countersues for the value of a two years supply of Cialis.

  • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

    Screw that.  I see BMW starting a new line of ads.  “Having problems with male performance?  Try the performance of a new BMW motorcycle.  The only motorcycle proven to enhance male performance without any drugs.”

• [tristan eldritch]

  Not sure how plausible or otherwise the idea of a motorcycle ride causing priapism is, but a two year hard-on stretches credibility to breaking point.

  • [Rob]

    Exactly.

    Does he still have his penis? If the answer is yes, he’s lying. There’s been amputations for 3 day ones due to cocaine. 

    • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

      The blood has to move eventually or else his boner would have fallen off by now.

      • [Andrew Hooplah]

        Maybe he has a heretofore unknown condition whereby he falls asleep whenever he’s no longer erect.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    …a two year hard-on stretches credibility to breaking point.

    That’s some turgid prose.

    • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

       We’ll see in 2 years

  • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

    Wonder if he kept riding for the first boner year.  “Yup, I’ve pretty much worn this out.”

    By the way, can we make “boner years” a new unit of measurement?

• [Maikeru Ronin]

  If he wins the lawsuit, I’m totally suing Jessica Alba…

  • [Rickenbacker4001]

    Might be a Class action lawsuit…

    • [MB44]

      Classy action.

  • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

    She gave me 3 boner years

• [MikeKStar]

  He really has a hard on for BMW motorcycles!

• [bcsizemo]

  Maybe BMW should nick name that model the “Blue Vein Throbber.”

• [steve heath]

  viagracycle…do you kick start it, do I see alice sitting on the P Pad, BMW = Big Major Woody

• [Matthew Urso]

  i find this hard to believe.  his story doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.  If its true we may have to erect a monument to BMW

  ok that last one was a stretch

  • [MB44]

    Agreed; pretty hard to let that one fly.

• [voiceinthedistance]

  Reminds me of that old Beatles song, Bavarian Wood.

  “I once had a bike, or should I say, it once had me . . .”

• [jnordb]

  guess he missed the part about seeking medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours…

• [kP]

  This exact same thing happened after I got my unicycle.

• [franko]

  that poor man. just the THOUGHT of this entire thing is giving me an erection.

• [Anon_Mahna]

  Trying to get this law suit to fly sure is a cocky move on his part. 

  Also made me flash back to a bit by Robin Williams
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJrN2OLD9Uo

• [joeposts]

  “My dick is a Harley / You kick it to start“

• [Daemonworks]

  “a medical consisted”???

  • [Funk Daddy]

    That was a typo, it was meant to say “a pedicle extension of persistence consisted of genitals twisted”

• [nunya]

  HE”S DOING IT WRONG. An erect penis is an aid to sex, not a hindrance.

• [missrain]

  Corbin does custom work. They craft the motorcycle seat right in front of you out of materials you choose. You throw it on your bike and ride around the parking lot to make sure it’s comfortable before they stitch it all together. So one might assume he was happy before he paid for it. 

  On the other hand, as with most legal action, we uninvolved folks don’t know the actual circumstances and are only speculating based on limited info and imagination about what’s probable or reasonable. To wit, the “frivolous suit” by the lady who spilled McDonald’s coffee in her lap actually suffered 3rd degree burns over her ladybits area, and spent two years having skin grafts. So who knows what really happened with the Beemer dude.

  • [Antinous / Moderator]

    As always, any more mentions of the McDonald’s case will be deleted with extreme prejudice.

• [Philbert]

  Background information makes it better.
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus 

  • [howaboutthisdangit]

    I thought Priapus was that neat little Toyota.

• [That_Anonymous_Coward]

  So how is BMW at fault in any of this?
  He got a custom seat made and added to the motorcycle, BMW didn’t make it with the seat.
  Sigh, personal responsibility dies a little more.
  No one held him down and forced him to pick the seat.
  If the seat was defective in someway, I could see an action against Corbin.
  But to hold them responsible for making a seat that did something to him they had no possible way of foreseeing… bah.

• [Michael Smith]

  I fully expect to be getting spam offering me bootlegged BMW motorcycles soon. Or BMW seats anyway.

• [Bottlekid]

  But can he make it stand up in court?

• [howaboutthisdangit]

  If symptoms persist for more than 4 hours, consult your BMW dealer.

  • [Warren Grant]

     That sounds like an advertising slogan they could sell the bikes with, better copyright it soon :P

• [Tommy]

  What I don’t get is why he is “unable to engage in sexual activity”. ^^

  • [Warren Grant]

     Should be more like “is unable to stop engaging in sexual activity”…

  • [fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

    Dick jokes aside, priapism is serious business because of how vascular erectile tissue works(humans having lost the baculum under somewhat mysterious circumstances a fair way back in the evolutionary tree…)

    In order to achieve erection, blood outflow is severely curtailed, allowing the pressure of blood inflow to do its work. This cuts down markedly on circulation, so important functions like ‘oxygen and nutrient delivery’ aren’t happening at the usual efficiency; but that is endurable for modest periods.

    In the case of a prolonged erection, the continued loss of circulation causes tissue to start to die. Loss of local nerves is likely. Eventually, you can end up with a full-on case of necrotic horror penis. 

    Honestly, that’s the part that(without further details) makes the ’2-year erection’ claim hardest to believe. Prolonged erections are considered a medical problem after just a few hours, and a serious one within a few days. The stench of rotting flesh, and amputations, and whatnot would likely enter the picture soon thereafter.

    I suppose, with the right sort of local nerve damage, he could have a permanent semi-erect state, which is allowing enough blood flow to preserve viable tissue; but has basically trashed function…

    • [SomeGuyNamedMark]

      “necrotic horror penis”

      I think you have a zombie movie idea there.

• [cstatman]

  in related news,  sales of BMW motorcycles rises sharply

• [Jayarava]

  “medical consisted in” looks like a speech to text failure… 

• [PeaceLove]

  Does anyone know the make and model of the BMW? I mean, just for scientific curiosity…

• [Poyt]

  I really want to buy it for my girlfriend