Yogurt-eating mice have larger testicles and "mouse swagger"


40 Responses to “Yogurt-eating mice have larger testicles and "mouse swagger"”

  1. Churba S says:

    A tiny set of scales, and a very patient mouse.

  2. hurrpancakes says:

    Sorry, I couldn’t hear your question over the massive mice ball swag

  3. Barrett Blackwood says:

    To weigh mice testicles you remove them from the mouse and place them on a scale.

  4. juepucta says:

    Hmmmm. Would this mean that, say, the males of pretty much all Mediterranean countries have larger dangly bits?

  5. Missie says:

    Actually, they sacrifice the mouse, cut out the testes, and weigh them. Usually volume measurements are taken for testicles, but weight works, too.

    • satn says:

      By usually you mean ‘at the end of every study’ right?

    • kansas says:

      By sacrifice you mean ‘on an altar’ right?

    • technogeekagain says:

       Yep. Grip head in large forceps. Use tail to give the body a sharp snap from side to side. Broken neck, severed spinal column, quick and — presumably — fairly painless death. Dissect and assay effects of the experiment.

      Obviously this presumes this particular mouse will not be continuing the experiment.  Lab mice are pretty close to being genetically identical, so it’s presumed that other mice can provide the later samples.

      NOTE: The old-fashioned spring mousetraps are actually more humane than glue traps and the like — they kill the same way. Yes, they require that you look at the dead mouse, so maybe they’re less humane to squeamish humans… but the alternative really is worse.

      (In case you’re wondering why I know this: “The Effects of Cys-Dichloro-Diaminio-Platinum-II on Ehrlich’s Ascites Tumor”, a study we reproduced in high school as part of a summer science program.)

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        The old-fashioned spring mousetraps are actually more humane than glue traps and the like

        They’re still not all that humane. The humane part requires that the mouse place the correct body part in the correct place. Those can snap down on a snout or a leg.

      • Stig Carlsson says:

         I once had to shoot a mouse with a bb gun after it tried to run through a spring mousetrap and nearly got cut in two parts. A mouse screaming in pain while dragging the trap around the floor sure ain’t no fun to hear. Gave me a lesson about where Not to place a trap. The rest of the traps worked fine, though…

  6. Stefan Jones says:


    1) Carefully weigh mouse.
    2) Remove mouse balls.
    3) Weigh mouse again.
    4) Subtract weight from 3 from weight from 1.

    I’m buying yogurt on the way home. I was planning on doing this anyway, mind you. But now I’m buying more.

    If y’all hear that I’ve been arrested for shtupping female mice, you know what happened.

  7. This is just one study, and there’s no indication that this is true for human males…

    *reaches for yogurt*

  8. Cowicide says:

    I was wondering where I got all my swagger from.

  9. Rich Levy says:

     Sounds like some scientists years of study is worth every penny ;D

  10. sanealien says:

    It’s true, testicle weights were probably terminal, but there’s another way to do it!  

    Long term measures of rodent testicular development rely on a little anesthesia and a pair of calipers.  Multiply width^2 * length and you get the so called “estimated testicular volume” which is linearly related to testis weight.   

    Not that I spent too much time my first year in grad school squeezing rodent nuts…

  11. bcsizemo says:

    I feel like BB is implying that I haven’t tried to weigh my own testicles..

  12. BombBlastLightingWaltz says:

    they weigh the junk food dead mouse against the weight of a yogurt mouse and assume the difference is in the enlarged vis atrophied scrotum sac. Hence the balance of the balls.

  13. You just grab those bad boys and heft ‘em. It’s a ballpark estimate, to be sure.

  14. Eark_the_Bunny says:

    This is all fake!  No manly, ball dragging, yogurt eating, swaggering mouse would allow anyone near his junk!

  15. What Why says:

    you ask the female mouse, they already know everything

  16. Millo Lopez says:

    With balls that big, the mice just walk up and plop them on the scale for bragging rites.

  17. voiceinthedistance says:

    This is junk science!*

    *and I like it

  18. ImmutableMichael says:

    “Now cough”.

  19. RJ says:

    SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Eating yogurt may lead to unexpected testicular growth and advanced swag.

  20. anix says:

    I know I’ve always wanted bigger, heavier balls that affect the way I walk.  Girls tell me that constantly.

  21. criznell says:

    Anyone else interested in eating more yogurt?

  22. Deidzoeb says:

    Next Thanksgiving when these researchers are trying to explain to their relatives yet again exactly what they do in the lab, they can say, “I castrate mice and weigh their balls. Things like that.” No need to explain it again next year.

  23. Paul Renault says:

    “In mating experiments, yogurt-eating males inseminated their partners faster…”

    So, males who don’t eat yogurt inseminate the partners slower and longer.  Okaaayyy!

  24. princeminski says:

    This is all great fun, but nothing tops the headline itself.

  25. alicebettycoltranedavis says:

    Can I just suggest a more yogurt-specific song for this one? 


  26. Stig Carlsson says:

    Some small problems with trying to get the weight of me own….

  27. Marching Mice of Mu says:

    This article makes me feel uncomfortable. Need a cheese chaser.

  28. alxr says:

    Once the mouse balls are removed for weighing, the opportunity should be taken to clean the accumulated crud from the little rollers they nestle in. Cotton wool bud usually does the trick.

  29. areaman70 says:

    Stupid milk allergy.

  30. MrLibearian says:

    …..very very carefully

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