South Korean customs officials plan to increase customs inspections for powdered human baby flesh after 17,500 capsules were smuggled in less than a year. Powdered human baby flesh cures disease and boosts stamina. [BBC]

  • taj1f

    More proof that humanity is going nowhere. NOWHERE.

    • Ipo

       What are we doing in this handbasket then?

  • http://profiles.google.com/stephen.schenck Stephen Schenck

    “Powdered human baby flesh cures disease and boosts stamina”
    Supposedly, “is believed to”, something to qualify this…

    • TooGoodToCheck

      I came here to say the same thing.

      the original article went with “ is reportedly thought by some to cure disease and boost stamina”

      which raises the “weasel words” flags.  Basically, the BBC, which I trust, is reporting on a report coming out of korean customs, which I don’t know if I trust or not.

    • Mark_Frauenfelder
      • Chas Smith

        shouldn’t that be a reason NOT to post something facetious like that?

        • https://me.yahoo.com/callmemisscleo#503b4 misscleocallmenow

          No.

      • http://dbcooper.livejournal.com P.F. Bruns

        Plus, it’s great on salads and steak.

        Allegedly.

    • http://twitter.com/fossilfuels Funk Daddy

      Stephen are you seriously questioning the clear benefits of powdered human baby flesh? Seriously?

      It’s the definition of youth distilled and sold in easy to swallow capsules. No more mixing baby blood into smoothies at lunch, no more baby parmigiana every Wednesday at the Olive Garden, just pop a pill and you’re good to go. For those of us with productive busy lives it is one less concern and that’s good.

      • DewiMorgan

         Yeah. It’s even better than eggs pickled in young-boy-piss.

  • That_Anonymous_Coward

    Is this the real reason they want to ban abortions?
    So we can compete the in the global baby flesh market?
    /sarc for the impaired

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/6INKEXPQN2I46AJ4J67GI5ZOPQ John

      Why would we ban abortions for that? Why not just recycle?

      /more sarcasm

      • That_Anonymous_Coward

        Because there is more flesh if we let them ripen.

        • Ashen Victor

           Dandruff counts as powdered skin?

    • Chuck

       This product is a disgusting abomination, and whoever’s responsible for it should be cracked down on immed…  Er, hold on, let me take a look at the return on investment for this.  Hmmmm…

  • chellberty

    If they clamp down anymore, What am I as an atheist supposed to eat? Seriously I have met plenty of people that think that we are low enough to do so.

    • http://www.aldenbates.com/ Alden

       Obviously switch to whole babies instead of the inferior powdered version.

      • DewiMorgan

         I just can’t stand the coffee/baby culture in the US.

        Seriously. Whenever I make a cup of instant coffee and/or baby, I get damn Americans saying “how can you drink that crap? I only drink it fresh roasted, as soon as it’s been pooped out”.

        But these are all people who have never even TASTED it. Seriously people, I bet you couldn’t tell the difference in a blind test. This extra work you’re putting yourself to, grinding and roasting and stuff: you’re just making it hard for yourself.

        And then those very same people turn around and offer me instant tea and/or puppy.

        Hypocrites.

  • http://twitter.com/kpkpkp Kevin Pierce

    If they make the possession of powdered baby a crime, only criminals will have powdered baby! Our intact fully hydrated babies lack sufficient shelf life and cannot effectively compete in the international marketplace! Blah blah Libertarian blah blah blah.

    • Chas Smith

      We must outlaw all powders now to make sure there is no chance any powdered baby gets thru blah blah socialist blah blah

      • waltersear

        On the contrary, we can’t let China gain the powdered baby advantage.

        • YamaraTheGod

           Johnson & Johnson, among others, have been selling baby powder for decades. The market has huge competition and is completely legal.

          It’s not their fault that no one called them on the fact that it was made from real babies. It’s been up front the entire time.

          What it says on the tin, people.

  • Snig

    You would hope that the solution for this would be counterfeiting.  Seriously, if someone suspects they’re getting powdered chicken stock instead of baby, it’s not like they can call the local version of the FDA or FTC and declare suspected hijinks. 

    • https://me.yahoo.com/callmemisscleo#503b4 misscleocallmenow

      This is genius, particularly because powdered baby tastes like powdered chicken.

      • chgoliz

        I’m not going to ask….

    • http://plagmada.org Tim H

      I’ve wanted to see this done for rhino horn and tiger parts.   And every fifth fake is deadly poison.

  • abstract_reg

    I came here expecting a poor-translation farce about baby powder. Instead I find a grotesque horror rivalling soylent green.
    Also, I like how mater of fact Rob is about the benefits of powdered baby.

  • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

    I wonder if this is a misinterpretation by customs agents of, or an amplification of, the placenta-eating(in powder capsules, just google ‘placenta encapsulation’ to find a specialist near you!) that is something of a thing in certain alt-med circles? Are powdered fetuses even better than powdered placenta, or does some customs agent imagine that he has discovered a baby-eating ring when he has really discovered a probably-most-unwise-but-rather-less-dramatic placenta-running operation?

    I assume that either is viewed as a serious customs issue, but one has the dramatic dead babies angle that the other lacks…

  • http://evilbobdayjob.blogspot.com/ Deidzoeb

    Got to be careful of the provenance of your powdered human baby flesh, or else how can you tell if it’s actually flesh, or actually human, or age at time of harvesting?

  • Robert Cruickshank

    Dear Grandmothers of the world: Stop doing that “I just want to eat him/her up!” thing.   It was weird before, now it’s *really* not OK.

    • GTMoogle

      As I was exiting the pediatrician’s office, had an old lady tell me my 4 month old was so cute she wanted to take her home.  Not ok, creepy lady, not ok.

    • rausantaella

      In Spain it’s worse. Yes, worse. Maybe the grannies you know say “I just want to eat him up”, but here I heard grannies saying “Who’s gonna eat your wee-wee? Who’s gonna eat your little balls?”

      Yeah. It’s scary.

      • Robert Cruickshank

         wow. That *is* weird.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ROVGMU7U6DJ2Y74KQWFLDY4HHQ octolover

    better than eating endangered species, i’d say.

  • Mister44

    Asia – wtf is it with you ingesting weird shit for boners or what have you?

    • waltersear

      The have had much less exposure to the scientific method.

      • petertrepan

        Or as a Westerner would say, roughly 37%* less exposure.

        *  (+/- 3%) N=1017

        • iesika

           Defining your margin of error is what made this post a win.

    • Tommy Timefishblue

      People eat placenta in the US. And boner pills/dick-growth pills are a big deal too according to spam and other ads. It’s not an Asia thing, it’s a dupable rubes thing.

      • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

        Arguably, it depends on whether you are interested in humanity’s tenuous relationship with the scientific method or the welfare of certain species suspected of harboring virility…

        The gullibility seems to be approximately the same across the board. The consumption of tigers, less so. 

      • Antinous / Moderator

        Placenta almost certainly has some kind of drug effect when ingested. Whether it’s the intended one is another story.

  • waltersear

    It does?

  • http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers

    Just add water?

  • SamSam

    I am confused. Is it the fact that the babies weren’t organic or free range that is the issue?

    • Guest

       Of course they were free-range. Babies don’t end up in capsules if someone is keeping an eye on them.

      Unless they were feral babies.

  • kairos
  • http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair
  • http://twitter.com/doggo doggo

    ‘”It was confirmed those capsules contain materials harmful to the human body, such as super bacteria. We need to take tougher measures to protect public health,” a customs official was quoted as saying by the Korea Times.’
    Oh, please don’t. It’s okay if the consumers of this product get sick and die.

    • pupdog

      I know it’s just my comic- and cartoon-addled upbringing, but I REALLY want to see SuperBacteria’s totally awesome costume…;

    • Ipo

      Transmissible spongiform encephalopathy now in an easy to swallow gelcap. 
      InstantKuru™

  • http://blog.doomsdayzen.com agonist

    Every once in a while I think I’ve heard everything and then a story like this happens.

    • zarray

      When cyborgization becomes viable that’s when the really freaky shit is going to go down.

  • rtresco

    Powdered human baby flesh is people! It’s people! …er, I guess the title of the capsule takes all the mystery out of that one.

  • http://twitter.com/ethicalcannibal Ethical Cannibal

    This is terrible. It freaks me out. Yet. . . I am torn on making vague jokes with my username about it. There is seriously something wrong with me. 

    • rtresco

      Speaking of ethical cannibals, I could be cool with this if there were a capsule disclaimer that read ‘no babies were harmed in the making of this powdered baby flesh.’

      • DewiMorgan

        Hah! And that’s even possible, assuming that “baby” was defined as “has been born” :)

  • Mark Lee McDonald

    My What The Fuck? Meter™ just pegged out so hard it shattered. 

  • James Penrose

    I’d wager 99% plus of whatever the hell this stuff is is bogus.  If there ever was an area ripe for fraud, this’d be it.

    There’s no limit to human stupidity, gullibility and greed and this looks like the perfect storm of all three.

    • zarray

      It wouldn’t surprise me if someone in S Korea made this up to slur the Chinese. 

  • Brainspore

    For crying out loud, someone tell those guys about Viagra already.

  • BrotherPower

    Here’s me popping the lid on a whole other ethical worm can, but…

    …what if it’s just foreskins?  Would that be okay?

    • Ipo

      Why powderize the chewy goodness?

      • Antinous / Moderator

        Mmmmm. Junior Jerky.

      • BrotherPower

        Calamari!

    • zarray

      That’s a real dick move bro

    • DewiMorgan

      They’re busy saving those up to clone Hitler.
      Or so webcomics tell me.

  • http://www.karljones.com karl_jones

    “Powdered human baby flesh cures disease and boosts stamina.”

    Irish babies?  or any babies?
    Yrs. Trly., J. Swift

  • snowmentality

    I’m always super-skeptical of any version of the blood libel (aka “They eat babies!!!1″)

    Who are these officials who say the pills contain the flesh of dead babies and fetuses, and how did they determine that? What was the TV documentary that originally made these claims? Who made that documentary, and what evidence did they present for these claims?

    I’m not saying it’s impossible. But it’s such an old and well-worn trope to accuse groups you don’t like of killing babies to use their blood/flesh/etc. for food, and it’s been extended to medicine (see various urban legends about aborted fetuses in vaccines, drugs, skin creams, makeup, etc.), that I’m very cautious.

    The BBC story links to a China Daily article, which gives more details about the TV documentary and notes that placenta is used in traditional Chinese medicine.

    According to that article, the documentary claimed that “the content of the pills received by the television team was 99.7 percent identical with humans” — which is bizarrely nonspecific phrasing, but my guess is they mean that they were able to amplify DNA from the material in the pills and found that it was probably human? That doesn’t rule out placenta at all, though. Placenta pills would be still icky, and biohazardous, but a far cry from “powdered human baby.”

    • DewiMorgan

       You just sucked all the fun out of my dead babies :(

      But still, yeah: I think the reason people are making so light over it is that it’s such *obvious* crap, such as only the BBC at its most credulous could spread with a straight face.

  • http://www.lightning-rose.com/ LightningRose

    Hokaaay. If I ever travel to S Korea no way in hell am I going to buy any locally made Girl Scout  Cookies.

  • Antinous / Moderator

    I AM DISAPPOINT!

    How is babby powdered?

    • Brainspore

      Maybe they meant “baby powder.” That would actually be a lot less sinister.

      • Antinous / Moderator

        Or you just turned our childhoods into an abyss of horror.

    • DewiMorgan

      They need to do way instain mother> who freeze-dry thier babbys. becuse these babby cant fridge back!
      it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had encapsulated her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady who lunch
      my pary are with the father who viagra’d his chrilden : i am truley sorry for your lots

  • elk

    Ah! South Korea’s customs are cracking down b/c the cannibal pills are not healthy, never mind that you’re poppin’ babies! I’m sure once a safer production method is regulated, South Korea will be a much happier place.

    PS. WTF!!!!!!

  • Repurposed

    Eat daughters to make sons. Seems in line with my upbringing.