Space Coast motel goes nude in desperate attempt to survive post-Shuttle economy crash

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39 Responses to “Space Coast motel goes nude in desperate attempt to survive post-Shuttle economy crash”

  1. Snig says:

    Thank you for bringing it to our attention.  It is quite upsetting that some young uns have never seen Fawlty Towers.  

  2. Brainspore says:

    “Young people surf on that beach. What kind of a message is that sending them?”

    I believe the phrase you’re looking for is “hang loose.”

  3. TonyS. says:

    Moving backwards, what if nudity or sex had no appeal what would we have!

  4. Funk Daddy says:

    #1 reason urban naturist locations fail = Skid marks.

    #2 = G’wan and check yourself in the full length, okay. See, not bad. Okay. Now, bend over and pick up a piece of paper from the floor while taking a swig from a can of Coca-Cola or similar poison. How’s it look now? Now from behind, try it again. Yeah.

    I’m okay with my body but I appreciate the function and fashion of clothing esp underwear.
    My caveat, I believe we should each have fewer clothes, at least most of us in North America.

    • Brainspore says:

      May I ask if you’ve ever been to a naturist location? Most of the people at the ones I’ve been to know to wipe their asses.

      Also, if you go to a family-oriented locale to look at other people’s nether regions then you’re either some kind of perv or you’re completely missing the point.

      • Funk Daddy says:

        Most you say? Oh well then. Yeah I have, parents took me until I began begging off at 12yrs old. 

        The outdoor, nature bound naturalist sites weren’t too awful, Hippie Hollow was the preferred spot for my parents for convenience sake. 

        I bet some pervs are among you, but whether you are or not or whether you go to look or not you can’t avoid looking, thereby is your pointed insult as blunted as I hope you are when you wander around these places.

        • Brainspore says:

          Then maybe I’ve just been lucky, or perhaps your folks took you to hygenically-challenged resorts. Either way, it’s not for everyone. Which is fine by me.

  5. Henry Pootel says:

    Putting the “Tit” in Titusville

  6. Jack says:

    It’s almost like they didn’t even TRY an “I Dream of Jeannie” museum first. 

    • niktemadur says:

      Reading your brainstorming post and the unscrollable column to the right, here’s an idea for a slogan that maybe the hotel should consider:

      “Demolish Serious Culture”.

      Then should Boing Boing consider organizing nude weekend retreats there?

      • IRMO says:

        Except for the pool, there’s not much to do there. If I’m going to get naked in a crowd, I want more options. A pool. A beach. Some gardens. 

        • niktemadur says:

          How about a perennial favorite, the nude vodka ice bar?

          But I agree, beach, garden and pool is the (ahem) bare minimum.  The jackpot would be a combination of beach and garden, figuring out a way to place big shade trees on the sand, that would be amazing.

    • IRMO says:

      That’s because it already exists 2 blocks from there. 

    • There is an “I Dream Of Jeannie Ave” just down the road.  

      I’ve driven past the place in this story; never been there.  But I remember the old British TV show so the name always gave me a chuckle. 

  7. Jack says:

    Was just down there on a futile hunt for some dark place for nighttime stargazing. 

    There’s a huge stealth “pond” or “body of water” which is a Google map dead zone — right by the Brevard County Community College, off Michigan. (Old Superfund site?)
    The “water” on the satellite photos is much smaller than on the maps. But to bring it back to the main subject: mosquitoes, so, while I like nude leisure, I’ll pass.

  8. Rider says:

    Every tourist area in FL is in a sharp decline.   While the end of the shuttle program did not help the area, the area was dying long before it ended.   You can find desperate empty hotels everywhere in FL.  I drive past 20 of them within 10 miles of Disney everyday.

    • Brainspore says:

      Every tourist area in FL is in a sharp decline.

      Losing their shirts, as it were.

      • Layne says:

        Exactly - It might also have something to do with the fact that air travel these days is about as pleasant as a dry rectal exam. 

        “Let’s take the whole family to Disney after an X-ray machine and groin-gropes for everyone!”

    • Xeni Jardin says:

      That’s a fair point. NASA isn’t the only reason that so much of that region is becoming a dead zone.

      • Rider says:

        Cocoa Beach is huge with locals. In fact I vacation there 3-4 times a year so if anything they are shielded a bit from what’s happening elsewhere.

        If anything the problem happened when the state and local governments gave huge incentives to the big attractions. This was great for awhile but slowly places like Disney realized “Hey if we build smaller attractions on our own property we can keep people hostage on our property”. Why have people leave Disney to play miniature golf, let’s just build 3 miniature golf courses on property. So they take away jobs from people who live in the area and then staff their property with underpaid and uninsured “interns”

        This put all the small independently owned operations on the strips out of business. These empty dead attractions drove things even further down.

        Cocoas problem is not the end of the shuttle program, their problem is the Cruise Line passengers no longer stay on the coast they get bused to Disney.

        Just drive on the Beach Line, you see nothing but tourist buses full of people getting bused to Disney.

        It’s not a coincidence that one of the worst most depressed and crime ridden areas in FL is a mile south of Disney.

        It was once this gorgeous fun tourist area, now everything is empty and abandoned.

    • FQMiami says:

      Except Miami Beach has hotel occupancies that matches its 2008 historical peak and exceeds 10-year average.   Miami Dade County has both occupancy and revenue exceeding historical average.  Even though room rates are below peak, South Fl hotel bed tax collections are at record high because there are more rooms.

      So you can’t really generalize about “every tourist area in FL”  based on Central FL.  Different demand drivers, different markets. 

  9. Jack says:

    And it’s ugly? I spent a week in Melbourne, FL last month on business, abt 20 miles south of the area in question. Sprawly, strip-mally, overdeveloped, no sidewalks,  miles to the closest amenities, etc.

    I went down thinking A1A would be all Pacific Coast Highway-ey, and I’d get a nice drive in one early evening, but no dice. It would be tragic except that these folks made their bed, as far as I’m concerned. FWIW, the oceanfront hotel I stayed at seemed quite buzzing with activity. Maybe the desolation starts 20 feet back from the shoreline?

    • wizardru says:

      Melbourne and Cocoa Beach (and for that matter, Cocoa and Cocoa Beach) are practically night and day apart.  My parents lived there for 17 years and I visited frequently.   They even knew the British ex-pat who ran Fawlty Towers, though I suspect his relatives run it now.  It’s a really nice town with lots of luxury condos, while Melbourne…isn’t.

      A lot of the tourist trade was dedicated to a few venues: the original Ron Jon Surf Shop, Space Coast tourism and stop-overs on the way to the cruise ships.  I remember standing out on the beach in the late 80s, watching a rare night-time shuttle launch (which was AWESOME).

    • I live and work in Melbourne.  It’s definitely not a tourist oriented area, but I prefer it that way.  This is a place to live, not a place folks flock to visit.

  10. OldBrownSquirrel says:

    Take off as much clothing as you like, but don’t mention the war!

  11. Antinous / Moderator says:

    Palm Springs even has a Naked Bridge.   Eat that, Cocoa Beach!

    Google ‘naked bridge palm springs’ for less savory images.

    • penguinchris says:

      I was pretty disappointed by that image search.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        I imagine that many people are pretty disappointed when they go to their first nude resort.

        • niktemadur says:

          Not me, I was quite fascinated to find myself naked in public.

          But then again, it was Zipolite, Oaxaca, back in the early nineties, quite an incredible accidental destination to find myself in, after three bus rides totaling about thirty hours, in the midst of an adventure with my girlfriend!

  12. William Love says:

    To give a bit of backstory, since I know locals in Cocoa, the economy is in decline there b/c of the NASA closures http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/content/space-coast-worker-obama-lied-us . That is demonstrated by the housing market, but slightly counterbalanced by the cruise ships. The proof of this is if you look at the local news cycle and how primary education is declining in the area from literally rocket scientist standards to much less b/c of funding etc. Moreover this story is interesting specifically b/c it is right near Ron Johns Surf Shop and the main beach going area where spring break specials are usually filmed or bike week occurs, (yes I am sure there is a “girls gone wild” joke there somewhere).

    Melbourne isn’t really Cocoa, btw. Generally the setup of “strip malls” and hotels cater to large random influxes of people, long strips of beach (compared to other states), and that the “sidewalk” is the beach. Moreover the dependency on the car as transport usually has to do with the inability of tourists to handle the heat without being near the water. A/C is the main  reason why the southern states have grown in population.

  13. VicqRuiz says:

    If I can’t get a god damn waldorf salad, forget it.

  14. Seeking for other types of ‘blast-offs’ eh? 

  15. Ed Ligget. Tuba. says:

    I am utterly shocked and appalled.  I am almost stunned to the point of silence.  This is a complete outrage.  I cannot believe some people have not seen Fawlty Towers!!!

  16. JhmL says:

    I bet there’ll be lots of Fatty Owls, Flowery Twats and  Farty Towels.

  17. Ultan says:

    Florida has been tawdry, run-down, tasteless and generally awful for many decades now. On the plus side, there are occasional hurricanes.

  18. I’ve stayed at the Fawlty Towers in Cocoa. Pleasant enough, if a bit shabby (which made perfect sense to us). Framed scenes from the show are in the lobby, and they will supply you with the series to watch in your room on demand. 

    Here’s some pics: 
    https://secure.flickr.com/photos/cabridges/5854993504/in/set-72157626884835093

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