Sh*t my students write

"I firmly believe that the crucifixion is not something you can do to yourself simply because you do not have enough hands." Glorious. Thanks Noah!


        1. It was the 60s. Drugs were involved. How about we just leave it at that and not talk about the Edgewater anymore, mmkay?

  1. Looked at some of the other stuff quoted on the blog. This would be really funny if it wasn’t so sad.

    1. I love the excessive/strange superlatives that frequently creep into my students’ writing! I guess it must be more correct if “Marx truly believed that the underclass were oppressed by the ruling ideology.”

  2. “Contact with H2O
    first aid for contact with H2O: flush eyes with water, rinse skin with water, if ingested, get medical help.” 

    Rinse, repeat.

  3. I once had a student who turned in a paper all about the philosopher Dick Hart.  He blathered on vaguely for a few pages about Hart, and I was baffled by what he was talking about, because no such person existed in the curriculum, or to my knowledge.  Finally–and I am not making this up–he included Hart’s most famous quotation:

    “I think, therefore I am.”

    1. I worked in a bookstore in a college town. I led some young ladies to the Shakespeare section where one remarked, “I like Shakespear and all, except for all the cliches.” 

  4. Most of those snippets wouldn’t be out of place in certain online forums. They have that same wobbly, fledgling discourse and shaky grip on the ideas behind it.

    (I’m not saying those students are dim. Their statements are just examples of the learning process. But it’s still entertaining to see.)

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