I also like the smell of Techron, night-blooming jasmine, fairly-distant skunk, horsehide leather, and the variety of “old-car smell” commonly found in the Ford section of the Sun Valley U-Pick Parts, though I don’t think I’d consider most of those smells turn-ons as such.

A former girlfriend used to find me most irresistible after a sweaty Saturday afternoon spent changing the brakes on my car.  The relationship eventually ended, possibly due in part to the fact that the last thing I wanted to do when covered in greasy sweat and brake fluid was cuddle up against someone I loved.  Color me fastidious that way.

as the microwave goes: contrary to popular belief, the microwaves generated by a microwave oven are actually pretty wide (4.8″ wavelength) and don’t leak much. the latch is mostly for security and to make you think twice about opening the oven while the magnetron is on. that design was pretty popular, but i imagine there would be problems with hot spots if there isn’t a turntable.

I have recently taken to using Va-Va-Vanilla flavor Secret deodorant, however, and I’m not too butch to admit it.  ”Strong enough for a man…” etc., and personally I rather like smelling like a vanilla cupcake all day, at least compared to smelling like a muskrat.

The 70′s or 80′s oven in my parents’ house has a microwave built in. Theoretically I think you can run the microwave while the regular oven elements are on too, shortening the cooking time. You have to engage a latch that creates a seal, but I bet it leaks like crazy anyway.

I have tried it to reheat pizza once, but even though I was using the microwave I still didn’t leave the pizza in the box ;)

It’s not very masculine (rather floral and citrusy) but you wouldn’t confuse it with women’s perfume – this fits my personality very well and anyway is quite pleasant to smell.

The key to all the decent quality colognes (and perfumes) is complexity and sophistication, as much as that can be represented by such a thing. This is the problem with Axe and other cheap stuff – it’s too strong, and very simple and uninteresting. There’s no subtlety – even if you only use a little bit.

But – obviously that’s a matter of taste. For an easy analogy, it’s just like cheap beer or liquor compared to high-end stuff.

Most importantly – if you are just wearing it for yourself, and you like it, that’s great – that’s really the only reason I use cologne too (though it gets rave reviews from the sophisticated ladies I know if they notice it ;) and I only bother to put it on a few times a month, when the mood strikes.

But – as I said – I’d like to know which ones you like. I’ll see if I can find them in a store to try it. I’d then also urge you to go to a department store and try some good ones – and not just the highly-marketed ones that you know the brand name of. I suspect once you get a taste of the subtlety and sophistication available, you won’t like your Axe as much any more. And for the record I don’t think the good stuff is going to cost you more money than Axe; it’s more expensive up front but will last a lot longer.

(((A friend of mine who didn't know me very well bought me an Axe gift pack for Christmas one year. I was a little put-off by it. I mean… it was Axe. In a gift box. Not only is a fragrance gift box always an insulting gift ("I spent all of 5 seconds puling this off a gift display at the grocery store because I felt obligated to buy you something,") but, good god, she thought I wanted Axe… but it smelled good, and I've been using Axe ever since. I have only ever liked two of the umpteen scents Axe has tried. The rest are shockingly gross, but those two I really like, and I will note that I only tap the sprayer for half a second. People have made fun of me for falling for the advertising, but it's not true! My first was a gift and before that I had made fun of the stuff for the advertising (and still do), but most of all, I'm a faggot :O …I have no expectation or hope that I will be swarmed with girls. …or guys. I just like the way it smells.)))

Maybe there’s some AXE social media analyst reading the above comments and thinking “Hey, at least people are talking about us!” What Bill Hicks said …

a week later, i am reheating some pizza in the oven and the smoke alarm goes off for no apparent reason. i can only guess that some additives in the cardboard pizza box were sublimating and were just the right size to trigger the alarm.

by contrast, some of these new fragrances feel like a spike being driven into my sinuses, at any level above “barely any.” of course, it’s not just axe, and some varieties of axe are fine.

There’s an old rule of thumb women use with makeup: if people can tell you’re wearing makeup, then you’ve applied it incorrectly.

Well, drag queens definitely work out of a different rule book.

The same thing applies to men and cologne. If it’s obvious that you’re wearing cologne, then you need to dial back the intensity on the paint sprayer, Guido. Nobody wants to hang around a guy who stinks like a leaky Zippo lighter wrapped in scented toilet paper.