Comments on: Epic dumps, recalled

By: Muscato

Muscato — Sat, 26 May 2012 13:31:00 +0000

I’m late to the party, and it’s breaking my heart because, boy, do I have a tale to tell. Let the words Ghana, upcountry, rice balls, and off canned mackerel give you likely (more than enough of) the gist…

By: Bad Juju

Bad Juju — Thu, 24 May 2012 03:05:00 +0000

I feel like I walked into an alt.tasteless thread from the grand old days of 1993.

By: Scott Bartlett

Scott Bartlett — Thu, 24 May 2012 01:06:00 +0000

I feel like I’m witnessing an important moment in internet history.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Wed, 23 May 2012 23:38:00 +0000

Actually, when will the first movie based on a reddit thread be produced? It will happen.

By: oasisob1

oasisob1 — Wed, 23 May 2012 23:34:00 +0000

As the smartest muscle in the body, it craves intellectual stimulation.

By: Greg

Greg — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:53:00 +0000

Just like Rome Sweet Rome, this Reddit thread has sparked a bidding war amongst the Hollywood studios. Unidentified sources tell me tomorrow’s Daily Variety will break the story that Universal has optioned DEATH CRAP. Brett Ratner is attached to direct.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:10:00 +0000

They’re just basically sulfur powder.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:06:00 +0000

How about, “The turd doesn’t fall far from the asshole”?

By: redstarr

redstarr — Wed, 23 May 2012 18:40:00 +0000

The folks my mother used to work with went through a phase where they were sending each other photos with their phones of their poops with captions naming them. One day, she checked her phone in front of me,and said ever so casually “Nevermind. Just a picture of some shit a girl from work sent me.” . I was curious what the “shit” in the pic was, assuming “some shit” meant “some stuff” or “some thing” rather than literally feces. She laughed and handed me her phone, knowing full well what I was about to see, with a “Well, you asked for it. I told you.”. I should have known better at that point, but I took the phone anyway and was faced with the long partially coiled turd proudly labeled “The Cobra”. While that game was being played, I feared opening any forwarded messages from her, worried that she thought I might want to be included in the game.

By: LogrusZed

LogrusZed — Wed, 23 May 2012 18:39:00 +0000

Still the best cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches.

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 23 May 2012 17:59:00 +0000

Well crafted story. I’d imagine you were perhaps a writer for Will & Grace? If not, you should’ve been. That story is hilarious.

By: IronEdithKidd

IronEdithKidd — Wed, 23 May 2012 17:51:00 +0000

I’m sorry for your trauma, rest assured, you are absolutely not alone in having suffered the wrath of Government Cheese when St. Ronnie was in office.

By: Donald Petersen

Donald Petersen — Wed, 23 May 2012 17:31:00 +0000

Be more respectful toward those who ain’t too proud to beg, and the universe may reward you, if only by not punishing you with hi-res closeups of piles of shit.

By: skeptacally

skeptacally — Wed, 23 May 2012 16:34:00 +0000

You know, as soon as you include the sentence “I beg you not to click the link…” people are going to click the link.

Put me right off my lunch, I tell you.

By: bcsizemo

bcsizemo — Wed, 23 May 2012 16:08:00 +0000

Kind of brings new meaning to, “That took it out of me.”

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:31:00 +0000

You can never accuse BB of not responding to its readers:

http://boingboing.net/2012/05/23/howto-make-unicorn-poop-cookie.html

By: DiabloD3

DiabloD3 — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:12:00 +0000

We need Gilbert Gottfried to read the quoted part.

By: royaltrux

royaltrux — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:06:00 +0000

Reading this quietly was the biggest challenge I will face today.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Since we are sharing here in SA (Shitters Anonymous) I’ll toss in a quicky.

I was on my honeymoon and we decided to mix some backpacking with indulgent B&B stays in Washington state. Our last day out I tried to make a relatively fancy camping breakfast for her by including dehydrated eggs.

The eggs tasted fine and all but I would later wonder if they got fully rehydrated or digested because I started to turn into a human Mt St Helens complete with fumes that would’ve made Dante retreat from hell. This not only lasted the entire car trip to the airport with my new wife threatening divorce but the plane ride home. I was on the plane clutching my abdomen wishing they offered colonics on flights while everyone around me desperately turned on their vents as high as possible.

I still feel sorry for my fellow passengers and haven’t touched dehydrated eggs since.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:52:00 +0000

Pro tip, don’t go “This Colace doesn’t seem to be working, maybe I’ll take some milk of magnesia also.” I was on post-surgery percoset at the time. Lets just say after my fifth stomach clenching trip I should’ve let the Colace do its job alone.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:49:00 +0000

I thought most movies nowadays were already based on shit?

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:48:00 +0000

Reminds me of the movie “Dumb and Dumber”

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:46:00 +0000

Who says we will wait to be asked?

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:43:00 +0000

Thank god Boing Boing is pluralist enough to not only appeal to our hearts and minds but also our sphincters.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:41:00 +0000

Try eating lots of figs and rehydrated eggs. You will become your own jet pack.

By: millie fink

millie fink — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:22:00 +0000

Surely some country has an old saying: “He’s all farts and no shit.”

By: Kevin Liske

Kevin Liske — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:21:00 +0000

Damn you Doctorow! I have wasted a morning reading about shit and trying not to laugh too loudly!

By: eraserhead666

eraserhead666 — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:11:00 +0000

That’s when you really need a monster fart fan in the ceiling.

By: OtherMichael

OtherMichael — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:06:00 +0000

The Giant Colon at the Mutter Museum is not to be missed.

By: elchip

elchip — Wed, 23 May 2012 13:47:00 +0000

On the flip side, kinda: I had been having seriously messed up digestion for a long, long time from multiple GI infections acquired while traveling. Basically, taking a normal shit seemed impossible, and everything either way too soft or just liquid. Black and tarry. Depressing, it was.

When I finally got the proper antibiotic to deal with everything, it all turned around. Within the space of 48 hours I was taking normal brown shits again. Nothing in my life has given me this much joy, nothing. The infections have been gone for over six months and I still feel happy after every normal shit.
Just wanted to share.