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If Tetris was a (stupid, Battleship-style) movie

Cory Doctorow at 3:10 pm Fri, May 25, 2012

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Warialasky's trailer for a big-budg apocalyptic science fiction movie based on Tetris is all too plausible in the era of Battleship: the Movie: "Official Tetris Teaser Trailer. The invasion is beginning. It is inevitable. You created them, you can destroy them! I did not create Tetris, I was but the messenger. Tell me how to stop them. This is an extinction level event. No, don't go! Let her go!"

TETRIS - OFFICIAL TRAILER

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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  • CHilke

    100 million opening weekend – guaranteed.

  • snagglepuss

    That satire was already smarter than “Battleship”.

    But then, so is my dog.

    • zarray

      Hey man don’t rag on your dog, he helped me find my keys that one time.

  • http://orbitnet.com JIMWICh

    I would TOTALLY go see that.

  • http://jackfear.blogspot.com Jack Feerick

    Three words, people:

    ALL

    TOO

    PLAUSIBLE.

    The only thing missing was a soft, melancholy piano plunking out that familiar Russian-inflected theme tune as the last BARRRROOOMMMMM faded away.

  • bcsizemo

    If Tetris hadn’t been so popular when Star Trek Next Generation was out they should had the Borg cubes do this…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=679549499 Michael Birch

    I dunno Corey, I think they might be on to something… Make them Tetris piece shaped monoliths and you may have a blockbuster.

  • nvlady

    Watching bad movies is awesome. For that reason I watched Volcano and ‘loved’ it. And I have a desire to see Battleship if for no reason that to hear a character say, “You sunk my battleship!” HAS TO BE IN THERE!!

    • http://twitter.com/beep54orama B E Pratt

      From what I’ve read, not only did they make a bad movie, they didn’t even bother to put that line in it…..
      Oh and yes, this trailer is AWESOME!!

      • marukosu

        It would have had to be said by Samuel L. Jackson, anyway, so no loss. I bet he would have done it too, if they had only asked.

        And +1 on the Tetris awesome.

  • http://twitter.com/digitalArtform Joseph Francis

    Sorry guys. As the CG Supervisor of ID4 I feel slightly responsible for that.

    (Actually I would totally go to that movie)

  • http://whimsicalacious.tumblr.com/ Patrick McGorrill

    Yeah, this is not boding well for those people who have used Tetris to prevent PTSD symptoms http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0013706

  • Warren_Terra

    Obligatory Youtube link to the incredibly catchy music video “Complete History Of The Soviet Union, Arranged To The Melody Of Tetris”

    • Gerrit Vogel

       There also is this other tetrsi movie trailer. Which is even closer to battleship, in a way:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_1KlWFJyA

      • mobuco

        There is also a real tetris documentary coming out (full disclosure…I am in it)  
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTK6MnPa8Zo

      • smallteam

         Tron meets Hunger Games?

  • Mantissa128

    Reminds me of Pixels.

    • CH

      That… was… awesome!!! Just absolutely perfect… including the logo for the movie, not to mention the credits. So much of my childhood/youth right there!

  • http://twitter.com/chrisjimson chris jimson

    “How do I stop them?”

    Dude, if you line them up right they will just disappear.  Extinction level even averted.

    Duh.

    • penguinchris

      For fuck’s sake, you couldn’t put a *SPOILER ALERT* at the top of your post?

  • GIFtheory

    Oblig: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/01/24

  • http://twitter.com/ErnestValdemar Ernest Valdemar

     Latest news from Hollywood is that Pat Boone just signed Kirk Cameron to star in The Naughts, the Crosses, and the Switchblades.

  • http://twitter.com/adamcreen Mr Memory

    In “TV Go Home” by Charlie Brooker (2001), you have “Tetris: The Miniseries” starring Nick Berry (British doyen of bland soaps and rural dramas) discovering that the tumbling fun is a shadowy government conspiracy and the alarming scientific method by which complete rows of blocks “disappear”. Also starring Dexter Fletcher as “Spatial Awareness Dude” and Charles Dance as “L-Shaped Block”

  • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

    why is it that you can’t view a you tube video on this site any more without activating ten tracking scripts?

  • BombBlastLightingWaltz

    Where is the repetitive Cossack noise line? Aliens my butt, its the Pinks at it again.

  • http://northierthanthou.com/ northierthanthou

    Okay that’s fricking hilarious!

  • http://www.facebook.com/joe.finsterwald Joseph Finsterwald

    It would be even more retarded if Rhianna was in it.