Florida is center of coming zombie apocalypse

From ihopericksantorum:

5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation
Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html

5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/terminal-2-evacuated-at-fort-lauderdale-airport-in-hazmat-scare

5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/newsnow/x639948018/Police-Man-bites-woman-in-Westchester

5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/23: Man Bites Cousin’s Nose Off
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Man-Bites-Cousins-Nose-Off-153100125.html

5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/24/2815003/second-broward-school-reports.html

5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/25: ‘Disoriented’ passenger subdued on flight in Miami http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/

5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim’s Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/naked-man-eating-victims-face-killed-miami_n_1548359.html

5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arrest http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doctor-spits-blood-troopers-face-dui-arrest/story?id=16436402

All in same week and same state…. may God be with you Florida.

• [fergus1948]

  Is it possible that this post is related to the one immediately above it?

• [Aaron Swain]

  Dammit.

  • [Ant]

    Jack Bauer, is that you?

• [Matthew Petty]

  Never mind fencing in the gays, fence in the Floridians!

  • [MrLibearian]

     I’m both of those things!  oh noes!

    • [Houston Lang]

      Double fences for you!

• [videobored]

  Wow, I’m suddenly envisioning a fence that runs from Gulf to Atlantic, that when viewed on a map bears a striking resemblance to a giant cock ring.

  • [Ashen Victor]

     Zombie cock ring, sir.

    • [videobored]

      amiright?

  • [Ian Wood]

     Go on…

• [Bob Morris]

  Meanwhile, don’t pick up flashlights in Phoenix because they could be bombs.

• [John]

  Umm, the 5/21 story is from Illinois.Still, isn’t this what Max Brooks tells you to look for in the Zombie Survival Guide?  Pages 25-27 in my edition… ;-)

  • [John]

    AND the nose biting is from California…

    • [Adrienne Relstab]

      It must have traveled then because a nose biter was just shot by police a few days ago in Miami.

• [liquidstar]

  Excellent,  my friends and I have been compiling similar lists lately – I remembered this story from last year:
   http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/woman-claims-she-vampire-bloody-attack-florida-man

• [arp]

  Not in FL but… http://www.northjersey.com/news/Hackensack_man_stabs_self_throws_intenstines_at_police.html  and then you’ve got the lady zombie in TX who ate her baby. So it’s spreading…

  • [Jessica Gwina]

    the lady that ate her baby was in 2009..

    • [arp]

       don’t know how i missed that…. thanks.

  • [Dana Seilhan]

    That was an unmedicated schizophrenic whose entire family and babydaddy fell down on the job with keeping an eye on her.  One of these days people are going to quit expecting the severely mentally ill to function like normal human beings.  I suppose that’ll happen roughly about the time they start *seeing* them as human beings.

• [wholypantalones]

   Actually it’s from Reddit. http://www.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/u9n5k/well_time_to_open_my_zombie_survival_kit/

  • [Kevin Halse]

    reddit is link aggregator site. If it’s on reddit, then it’s probably from something else.

    • [malindrome]

      It’s turtles all the way down.

      • [Houston Lang]

        Sweet, sweet turtle gangbang. Oh yeah.

• [Rezeya Montecore]

  Don DeLillo, white courtesy phone…

• [Rosin Ffield]

  So what is this “fad” about zombies now? You people in US are constantly led by well-organised, mainstream “fads” promoted by every brink or mainstream media, and you follow them gladly.

  what’s repulsive to me is that these fads are portraying the individual decaying, parasitic, dependent, predating–like for example the previous (yet expiring) “fad” that lasted a good decade: Vampires.

  They’d put you a “fad” to tatoo yourself and cover yourself in piercings and you’ll follow it like a slave. What’s the next fad? -it’s glamorous to be in a private prison maybe?

  I wish they made “fads” for young people being subversive, intelligent, subtle, humorous, freedom-loving, considerate, creative… Ever seen any “Leonardo Da Vinci fad” lasting for, like, ten years? I’m telling you, if all the deep-stench mainstream media promoted, let(s say,  Leonardo for 10 years the way they promoted “vampires” (or now ‘zombies’) you’d have markedly nicer feel and aspiration among the people in your country…

  • [Andy]

    Uhhh…. the zombie fad has been coming and going forever. George Romero re-made a bunch of zombie movies in the late 90s/early 2000s. The Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide book is at least seven years old. It’s just pop-culture dude. Some people like zombies, some people like vampires, some people like wizards, some people like other stuff. Many of us ALSO like Film with a capital F, Art with a capital A, and Literature with a capital L. So CHILL OUT.

    What country are you from anyways? I bet you’ve got your share of problems too.

    • [rocketjam]

      I’m guessing he’s from a country that is no fun at all.

      • [PXL]

        Isn’t it awesome when people from outside your country automagically know exactly what’s wrong with your country, even as their own countries falter?

        • [Rosin Ffield]

          haha you can’t automatically assume if i belong outside or inside your country

        • [retchdog]

          @facebook-749997097:disqus it is a fair guess that you’re greek, since you somehow managed above to typo a mu instead of a “y”. there aren’t many keyboards in the US where that’s possible.

        • [donovan acree]

           @facebook-749997097:disqus You are either from another country or you formatted this statement incorrectly
          “You people in US are constantly led by well-organised, mainstream “fads”…”
          It’s the ‘You people’ that does it. When you say ‘You people in the US’ you are indicating to the reader that you are not a part of ‘people in the US’.
          You do the same with ‘ … among the people in your country’ indicating that the US is not the country were you reside.

        • [Dana Seilhan]

          It’s having problems, not being blind.  I’m bored with the America-bashing too, but it’s not like we don’t deserve at least some of it.

      • [Rosin Ffield]

        -this Steampunk thing doesn’t even look bad to me–i was reading stuff like Juxtapose magazine, for example, or Burns comics since these appeared and weren’t even famous…i mean, i have taste for these things, but my rant is about the mass “fad” and people obeying it–the Steampnk thing made me think about it…

        • [Bill Stockstill]

          Fads aren’t exclusive to the US, they are worldwide. Everywhere that has people, has fads.

    • [Stephanie Richardson]

      George Romero = Night of the Living Dead = 1968

    • [Rosin Ffield]

      These films you are talking about are different, they’re very cool, they have this texture/flavour to them, not to mention kitsch humour. What my rant is about is this tasteless consensus in masses obeying these mass fad signals (through stuff that mostly has NO texture or flavour but just  constant, tasteless blue backlights)

  • [videobored]

    Dearest Rosin, that’s a wee bit harsh, dontcha think? You should visit Fflorida sometime. You’ll see that if there is to be a zombie apocalypse, that is precisely where it will start.   =8)

    • [Rosin Ffield]

      µou’re right, harsh tone brings nothing good, beside it’s directed towards a ‘system’ and i may only give shit feel to a few folks with what i express but fuck, doesn’t this system deserve a good rant

      • [donovan acree]

         ”doesn’t this system deserve a good rant”
        Yes, yes it does. Let me know if you see one.

  • [John]

    The Steampunk “fad” has lasted for a good decade or so, gaining *ahem* steam over the course of that time until becoming a full-fledged culture.  It’s done so largely without the “mainstream media.”  It’s been an organic growth pushed by regular people like Jake VonSlatt.  It has been co-opted by Hollywood and Vancouver for films and television, but it has been by-and-large an organic growth.

    Personally, I like zombie fiction.  I like the concept of urban survival in a post-collapse landscape in general.  It makes for interesting and meaningful stories about humans living and surviving in extreme circumstances.  Zombie fiction is one iteration of this stress-survival genre.   That new TV series this fall about the power going out is another one.  To me, it’s about seeing strength in times of strife.

    Could there be a Da Vinci cultural movement?  Sure.  I can easily imagine a Renaissancepunk aesthetic with rudimentary wooden gears and flying corkscrews.  I’m seeing RennFaire meets Steampunk from your description.  The beautiful thing, though, about living in the future is that any of us can make the next great wave of culture if we only make it compelling enough.  You want us “people in the US” to get hooked on Da Vinci?  Then make me something compelling that I want to remix and incorporate into my personal visual aesthetic. 

    Welcome to the future, Rosin, where the barrier to cultural production is less-than-zero.

    • [Rosin Ffield]

      John, this Steampunk thing doesn’t even look bad to me–i was reading stuff like Juxtapose magazine, for example, or Burns comics since these appeared and weren’t even famous…i mean, i have taste for these things, but my rant is about the mass “fad” and people obeying it–the Steampnk thing made me think about it…

    • [Dana Seilhan]

      Yeah, uh-huh, living without civilization is *such* an extreme circumstance.  So extreme, in fact, that no one has ever done it before in all of human history.

      (Not even the three million years *before* civilization… ssshhhh…)

      I’ve been going around saying “it never ceases to amaze me how hard a pet dog will fight to avoid joining the wolf pack” but honestly, a dog’s got more sense than we do, as evidenced by the way a dog will go feral before rolling over and dying from lack of its leash and Milk-Bones.

  • [Ian Wood]

    I wish they made “fads” for young people being subversive, intelligent, subtle, humorous, freedom-loving, considerate, creative…

    “They” do. But you’re too hip to know about them.

    • [Rosin Ffield]

      not Hip Ian, and i know there are but they are narrowband, wish they had more exposure..

      • [Conrad Constantine]

        what, so they can be all mainstream and overexposed and lacking in value, so you can complain about them?  Dude you are seriously not getting the mechanics of scale here.

  • [Mark_Frauenfelder]

    Don’t be such a sourpuss.

  • [Maria Pranzo]

    Zombies are the physical manifestation of the existential angst at the heart of the modern human condition.

    And it’s fun to watch decaying people scream “BRAAAAIIINNS”.

    Also, lighten up.

  • [malindrome]

    The latest fad is instigating trivial arguments on the internet, just to get a rise out of people.  The kids call it “trolling”.

  • [Dana Seilhan]

    Tell you what.  You find some other fad besides America-bashing and we’ll think about it.

    (For what it’s worth, I wish intelligence were a fad here too, believe me.)

• [cymk]

  Bugs Bunny had it right all along…

  (stupid attachment)
  http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/bugs-florida.gif

  • [videobored]

    Well played, sir.

• [Teller]

  Ate Crime™

  • [bcsizemo]

    That’s lifeist.

    • [Ian Wood]

      Yet another decaying doofus who chose to be dead and now spends all of his time whining about how oppressed he is. Get a pulse, slacker!

• [rocketjam]

  Was that cat/goat picture shot in Florida?

• [kingsleyd]

  I’m actually a bit worried about how San Diego got moved to Florida and nobody noticed.

• [Rich Keller]

  I  hope that zombies freeze solid if the weather is cold enough. That gives me a couple of months of rest each winter.

• [Daemonworks]

  zombies are slow, stupid and can be killed with conventional weapons. call me when we have a werewolf or vampire apocalypse.

• [OldBrownSquirrel]

  “Miami Face-eaters” would be a great name for a sportsball team.

• [David]

  Most of the state already walks and grunts like zombies… who would know the difference? 

• [Miranda Barker]

  I didn’t read all of the comments, but from the article, you have missed the mysterious chemical that boils in water and “pops” in the air that washed up in a 55 gallon drum here: 
  http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-05-14/news/fl-hollywood-suspicous-drum-20120514_1_bomb-squad-hollywood-beach-arson-squad

  The guy that bit the lips off of a kitten here:  
  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/30/angel-roman-bit-kitten-lips-off-florida_n_1556991.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=2560733,b=facebook

  The woman, openly masturbating on the interstate here: 
  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/30/ashley-holton-masturbating-florida-highway_n_1557587.html?1338421286&ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=2560733,b=facebook

  And the guy that robbed the bank and stabbed the teller with the syringe here: 
  http://fox8.com/2012/05/30/man-robs-bank-stabs-employee-with-syringe/ 

  It’s been a good couple weeks for news in Florida. 

• [SomeGuyNamedMark]

  The Florida zombies are already in CT

  http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/318528

• [Zeke Harrington]

  As someone who is constantly reading weird news stories like these, I just gotta point out there isn’t really anything statistically significant here, or any sort of sudden rise in cannibalism. There are always chemical accidents and bizarre instances of violence in America,. It’s our thing, especially with the faltering economy. Yes, I know we’re all just having fun and no one’s being serious. But the original incident that started this “joke” was a homeless man being disfigured in a horrible attack, and I find it really hard to see the humor in that. Not really an appropriate topic for these wacky internet antics.

• [travtastic]

   Maryland murder suspect: ‘I ate his heart and brains’

  • [malindrome]

    I hear that goes well with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    • [travtastic]

      *slurp*

    • [Dana Seilhan]

      That would be his liver, but yeah.

• [Thebes]

  I don’t know.
  Any other state and I’d be with you, clearly a gummint coverup of a zombie outbreak…
  But then I remember how crazy Florida is, and suddenly it seems like a pretty typical week.

• [Peter Martinez]

  Found another posible connection USS Miami Nuclear-Sub Catches fire.. Catalyst? http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/24/us/maine-submarine-fire/index.html?iref=allsearch