Florida is center of coming zombie apocalypse

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69 Responses to “Florida is center of coming zombie apocalypse”

  1. fergus1948 says:

    Is it possible that this post is related to the one immediately above it?

  2. Never mind fencing in the gays, fence in the Floridians!

  3. videobored says:

    Wow, I’m suddenly envisioning a fence that runs from Gulf to Atlantic, that when viewed on a map bears a striking resemblance to a giant cock ring.

  4. Bob Morris says:

    Meanwhile, don’t pick up flashlights in Phoenix because they could be bombs.

  5. John says:

    Umm, the 5/21 story is from Illinois.Still, isn’t this what Max Brooks tells you to look for in the Zombie Survival Guide?  Pages 25-27 in my edition… ;-)

  6. liquidstar says:

    Excellent,  my friends and I have been compiling similar lists lately – I remembered this story from last year:
     http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/woman-claims-she-vampire-bloody-attack-florida-man

  7. arp says:

    Not in FL but… http://www.northjersey.com/news/Hackensack_man_stabs_self_throws_intenstines_at_police.html  and then you’ve got the lady zombie in TX who ate her baby. So it’s spreading…

    • the lady that ate her baby was in 2009..

    • Dana Seilhan says:

      That was an unmedicated schizophrenic whose entire family and babydaddy fell down on the job with keeping an eye on her.  One of these days people are going to quit expecting the severely mentally ill to function like normal human beings.  I suppose that’ll happen roughly about the time they start *seeing* them as human beings.

  8. Don DeLillo, white courtesy phone…

  9. Rosin Ffield says:

    So what is this “fad” about zombies now? You people in US are constantly led by well-organised, mainstream “fads” promoted by every brink or mainstream media, and you follow them gladly.

    what’s repulsive to me is that these fads are portraying the individual decaying, parasitic, dependent, predating–like for example the previous (yet expiring) “fad” that lasted a good decade: Vampires.

    They’d put you a “fad” to tatoo yourself and cover yourself in piercings and you’ll follow it like a slave. What’s the next fad? -it’s glamorous to be in a private prison maybe?

    I wish they made “fads” for young people being subversive, intelligent, subtle, humorous, freedom-loving, considerate, creative… Ever seen any “Leonardo Da Vinci fad” lasting for, like, ten years? I’m telling you, if all the deep-stench mainstream media promoted, let(s say,  Leonardo for 10 years the way they promoted “vampires” (or now ‘zombies’) you’d have markedly nicer feel and aspiration among the people in your country…

    • Andy says:

      Uhhh…. the zombie fad has been coming and going forever. George Romero re-made a bunch of zombie movies in the late 90s/early 2000s. The Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide book is at least seven years old. It’s just pop-culture dude. Some people like zombies, some people like vampires, some people like wizards, some people like other stuff. Many of us ALSO like Film with a capital F, Art with a capital A, and Literature with a capital L. So CHILL OUT.

      What country are you from anyways? I bet you’ve got your share of problems too.

      • rocketjam says:

        I’m guessing he’s from a country that is no fun at all.

        • PXL says:

          Isn’t it awesome when people from outside your country automagically know exactly what’s wrong with your country, even as their own countries falter?

          • Rosin Ffield says:

            haha you can’t automatically assume if i belong outside or inside your country

          • retchdog says:

            @facebook-749997097:disqus it is a fair guess that you’re greek, since you somehow managed above to typo a mu instead of a “y”. there aren’t many keyboards in the US where that’s possible.

          • donovan acree says:

             @facebook-749997097:disqus You are either from another country or you formatted this statement incorrectly
            “You people in US are constantly led by well-organised, mainstream “fads”…”
            It’s the ‘You people’ that does it. When you say ‘You people in the US’ you are indicating to the reader that you are not a part of ‘people in the US’.
            You do the same with ‘ … among the people in your country’ indicating that the US is not the country were you reside.

          • Dana Seilhan says:

            It’s having problems, not being blind.  I’m bored with the America-bashing too, but it’s not like we don’t deserve at least some of it.

        • Rosin Ffield says:

          -this Steampunk thing doesn’t even look bad to me–i was reading stuff like Juxtapose magazine, for example, or Burns comics since these appeared and weren’t even famous…i mean, i have taste for these things, but my rant is about the mass “fad” and people obeying it–the Steampnk thing made me think about it…

      • Stephanie Richardson says:

        George Romero = Night of the Living Dead = 1968

      • Rosin Ffield says:

        These films you are talking about are different, they’re very cool, they have this texture/flavour to them, not to mention kitsch humour. What my rant is about is this tasteless consensus in masses obeying these mass fad signals (through stuff that mostly has NO texture or flavour but just  constant, tasteless blue backlights)

    • videobored says:

      Dearest Rosin, that’s a wee bit harsh, dontcha think? You should visit Fflorida sometime. You’ll see that if there is to be a zombie apocalypse, that is precisely where it will start.   =8)

      • Rosin Ffield says:

        µou’re right, harsh tone brings nothing good, beside it’s directed towards a ‘system’ and i may only give shit feel to a few folks with what i express but fuck, doesn’t this system deserve a good rant

    • John says:

      The Steampunk “fad” has lasted for a good decade or so, gaining *ahem* steam over the course of that time until becoming a full-fledged culture.  It’s done so largely without the “mainstream media.”  It’s been an organic growth pushed by regular people like Jake VonSlatt.  It has been co-opted by Hollywood and Vancouver for films and television, but it has been by-and-large an organic growth.

      Personally, I like zombie fiction.  I like the concept of urban survival in a post-collapse landscape in general.  It makes for interesting and meaningful stories about humans living and surviving in extreme circumstances.  Zombie fiction is one iteration of this stress-survival genre.   That new TV series this fall about the power going out is another one.  To me, it’s about seeing strength in times of strife.

      Could there be a Da Vinci cultural movement?  Sure.  I can easily imagine a Renaissancepunk aesthetic with rudimentary wooden gears and flying corkscrews.  I’m seeing RennFaire meets Steampunk from your description.  The beautiful thing, though, about living in the future is that any of us can make the next great wave of culture if we only make it compelling enough.  You want us “people in the US” to get hooked on Da Vinci?  Then make me something compelling that I want to remix and incorporate into my personal visual aesthetic. 

      Welcome to the future, Rosin, where the barrier to cultural production is less-than-zero.

      • Rosin Ffield says:

        John, this Steampunk thing doesn’t even look bad to me–i was reading stuff like Juxtapose magazine, for example, or Burns comics since these appeared and weren’t even famous…i mean, i have taste for these things, but my rant is about the mass “fad” and people obeying it–the Steampnk thing made me think about it…

      • Dana Seilhan says:

        Yeah, uh-huh, living without civilization is *such* an extreme circumstance.  So extreme, in fact, that no one has ever done it before in all of human history.

        (Not even the three million years *before* civilization… ssshhhh…)

        I’ve been going around saying “it never ceases to amaze me how hard a pet dog will fight to avoid joining the wolf pack” but honestly, a dog’s got more sense than we do, as evidenced by the way a dog will go feral before rolling over and dying from lack of its leash and Milk-Bones.

    • Ian Wood says:

      I wish they made “fads” for young people being subversive, intelligent, subtle, humorous, freedom-loving, considerate, creative…

      “They” do. But you’re too hip to know about them.

    • Mark_Frauenfelder says:

      Don’t be such a sourpuss.

    • Maria Pranzo says:

      Zombies are the physical manifestation of the existential angst at the heart of the modern human condition.

      And it’s fun to watch decaying people scream “BRAAAAIIINNS”.

      Also, lighten up.

    • malindrome says:

      The latest fad is instigating trivial arguments on the internet, just to get a rise out of people.  The kids call it “trolling”.

    • Dana Seilhan says:

      Tell you what.  You find some other fad besides America-bashing and we’ll think about it.

      (For what it’s worth, I wish intelligence were a fad here too, believe me.)

  10. cymk says:

    Bugs Bunny had it right all along…

    (stupid attachment)
    http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/bugs-florida.gif

  11. Teller says:

    Ate Crime™

  12. rocketjam says:

    Was that cat/goat picture shot in Florida?

  13. kingsleyd says:

    I’m actually a bit worried about how San Diego got moved to Florida and nobody noticed.

  14. Rich Keller says:

    I  hope that zombies freeze solid if the weather is cold enough. That gives me a couple of months of rest each winter.

  15. Daemonworks says:

    zombies are slow, stupid and can be killed with conventional weapons. call me when we have a werewolf or vampire apocalypse.

  16. OldBrownSquirrel says:

    “Miami Face-eaters” would be a great name for a sportsball team.

  17. David says:

    Most of the state already walks and grunts like zombies… who would know the difference? 

  18. I didn’t read all of the comments, but from the article, you have missed the mysterious chemical that boils in water and “pops” in the air that washed up in a 55 gallon drum here: 
    http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-05-14/news/fl-hollywood-suspicous-drum-20120514_1_bomb-squad-hollywood-beach-arson-squad

    The guy that bit the lips off of a kitten here:  
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/30/angel-roman-bit-kitten-lips-off-florida_n_1556991.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=2560733,b=facebook

    The woman, openly masturbating on the interstate here: 
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/30/ashley-holton-masturbating-florida-highway_n_1557587.html?1338421286&ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=2560733,b=facebook

    And the guy that robbed the bank and stabbed the teller with the syringe here: 
    http://fox8.com/2012/05/30/man-robs-bank-stabs-employee-with-syringe/ 

    It’s been a good couple weeks for news in Florida. 

  19. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    The Florida zombies are already in CT

    http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/318528

  20. As someone who is constantly reading weird news stories like these, I just gotta point out there isn’t really anything statistically significant here, or any sort of sudden rise in cannibalism. There are always chemical accidents and bizarre instances of violence in America,. It’s our thing, especially with the faltering economy. Yes, I know we’re all just having fun and no one’s being serious. But the original incident that started this “joke” was a homeless man being disfigured in a horrible attack, and I find it really hard to see the humor in that. Not really an appropriate topic for these wacky internet antics.

  21. Thebes says:

    I don’t know.
    Any other state and I’d be with you, clearly a gummint coverup of a zombie outbreak…
    But then I remember how crazy Florida is, and suddenly it seems like a pretty typical week.

  22. Found another posible connection USS Miami Nuclear-Sub Catches fire.. Catalyst? http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/24/us/maine-submarine-fire/index.html?iref=allsearch

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