7 tips for good behavior, circa 1500 A.D.

Gretchen Ruben, author of the terrific Happiness Project book, posted seven tips for good social interaction, written by Desiderius Erasmus around 1500 A.D. in his book De Civilitate Morum Puerilium Libellus: A Handbook on Good Manners for Children:

According to Erasmus, you should not…

1. gossip

2. tell unkind stories

3. boast

4. indulge in self-display

5. seek to defeat others in argument

6. interrupt people when they tell a story

7. be too inquisitive

Gretchen added two more to the list:

8. don’t “top” (meaning, don’t say things like, “Wow, you think that was bad, wait until you hear what happened to me”)

9. don’t keep bringing the conversation around to your favorite topics if other people don’t seem as obsessively interested in them as you are.

7 Tips for Good Behavior–from the 16th Century

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

MORE: Kids

More at Boing Boing

Ants and Stars: Bruce Sterling and Jasmina Tesanovic visit the Sardinia Radio Telescope in Italy

The Snowden Principle

PhosPhorious

Shorter Erasmus: Don’t use the Internet.
- http://dailygrail.com/ Red Pill Junkie
  
  Beat me to it!
- Nylund
  
  I was going to say, “You could sum a lot of that up by simply saying, “Don’t blog.”
- whowantstoast
  
  I think participating in comments breaks every one of those at the same time, making anyone who comments on this article the least likely to understand it. Especially me.
totally80s

Mark. Most of these “should nots” are hard-wired into the human psyche. We as humans don’t do these “should nots” all the time, but most (if not ALL) of us do these sometimes.

Now, let me interrupt and tell you this great, unkind story about myself…
- Just_Ok
  
  That’s pretty interesting. I wonder if it applies to butterflies? Did you see any butterflies? How many times?
- Henry Pootel
  
  Interestingly, the original 7 are all very short. The additions are long and wordy. Says something (?) about what’s more inherent and directly understandable via a word or two.
Bob N Johnson

Wait till you see what my phone can do. Isn’t that awesome? Did I show you what my phone can do? It’s really awesome. Here look at this. Isn’t that awesome? Want to see it again? No, you can’t hold it. Here I’ll do it again. Isn’t that awesome? I f’ing love my phone.
- http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
  
  You think your phone is great? Let me tell you something unbelievable about jellyfish…
millie fink

Don’t moan and groan about your life, especially when you’ve got it better than, oh, about 95% of humanity.
sarahnocal

I pretty much consider all news as gossip.
yadayada

Don’t 8 and 9 both fall under number 4?
- tacochuck
  
  I totally interpreted #4 differently.
- http://lovestospooge.myid.net/ Michael
  
  They do. I think Gretchen is just being sarcrastic. He tops while asking not to top.
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Cooper-DiBiase/100000445446098 Cooper DiBiase
    
    Hard to say. Orwell doesn’t follow his own rules in his essay on how to write well, if memory serves.
ChicagoD

Erasmus can say that, but my cousin’s sister’s nephew’s neighbor’s mom was his second grade teacher, and my cousin said that she said that Erasmus was a real tool.
Rich Keller

After visiting Belgium, I wondered what Erasmus would have to say about pay tiolets.
- ChicagoD
  
  Don’t top.
tacochuck

People who engage in #8 are numerous and I avoid “conversation” with them at all costs.
Purplecat

#8 seems to indicate a lack of self awareness, given that she’s just taken the old list and gone “That’s great Erasmus, but you should see these other two things that I would add to your list that make it much better.”

Also, I would call into question numbers 5 & 7. Curiosity and inquisitiveness are good things that can lead to discovering wonderful new stuff, which would certainly make me happy.
Also, I don’t agree with avoiding argument just for the sake of it. Sure, it can spread a false sense of agreement and harmony, but why shouldn’t I be passionate about my ideas and try to spread them?
- malthusan
  
  Have you been Saved? Let me tell you about my personal Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
  - http://gspirits.com/ Zod
    
    Have you been damned? Let me tell you about damnation and Satan…
    - cdh1971
      
      Have you been topped? Let me tell you about my
      - http://gspirits.com/ Zod
        
        I’m sorry…I don’t get the reference…your statement is too vague with no supporting text to your subject of the word “topped”
        Please try again.
snagglepuss

Notice they were listed as good manners…

..for children.

Which leaves me way in the fucking clear. Fuck Erasmus, anyway. Preachy old fuck. Shit, I couldn’t wear half the t-shirts I own if I was to follow that prissy bastards’ teachings.
- Rich Keller
  
  He had high expectations of little kids. He wrote a book for them in Latin.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Cooper-DiBiase/100000445446098 Cooper DiBiase
  
  Forgetting what you learned as a child is the equivalent of forgetting how to do arithmetic while you’re off doing calculus.
  - snagglepuss
    
    Gentlemen….It’s called a “joke”. Pray, investigate the concept and it’s many permutations, in your own preferred and doubtless expert ways.
    Mayhap, with god’s help, you will even attain something similar to it’s root human value, the rumored “sense of humour”, which men of faith, political achievement and (it is said) excessive learning do so frown upon when it is pointed in their direction. Prithee and forsooth.
    - http://www.facebook.com/people/Cooper-DiBiase/100000445446098 Cooper DiBiase
      
      I’ll buy that — that it’s a joke on your part — but I’m sure you understand that sarcasm (or, you know, “drollness” or whatever) communicates poorly through text and, at the same time, there is no shortage of people who appear to believe that manners are for losers, or something.
      
      These same people are seldom those who have anything interesting or important enough to say to justify abrogation of general niceties.
RedShirt77

Aren’t all but #6 sort of the stated purpose of this blog?
Phil Fot

I think that they apply today, as well. I wish I was better at them.
miasm

I would add, don’t just read the headline then skip to the numbered list without reading the intervening, framing language.
http://twitter.com/voidmstr Dennis Wilen

A.D.? Mark you know better than that.
- cdh1971
  
  Oooo…CE….aren’t we a fancy lad?
braden

There’s nothing worse than these “One-upers” that just have to out-do everything that’s said.
Do you know anyone like that?
I know two guys like that.
- Ipo
  
  I know four of them.
  And now you know three.
exile

8 and 9 seem to have been covered (succinctly) in 3 and 4.
timquinn

Dear Erasmus.

You can have your fucking polite society. I will stick with the friends I have. They are all assholes and in each others face all the time. Oh, and they are all brilliant, creative, skeptical and funny.
TRH

Another fine product of the Catholic priesthood!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BOOM27DBLMZQIJVK4BQLE7K5YA Nagurski

My list of maxims for good behavior goes to 11.
msbpodcast

While reading #8 Don’t top I was immediately struck by a vision of a black leather clad dominatrix cracking a whip, immediately followed by two men bare backing.

I’m going to wash my mind with soap and water now.

I need some sleep… :-)
- Tess
  
  Why does your mind need washing? Nothing wrong with that…
Teller

It was a great time to be alive. The kids read Erasmus; the grown-ups, Machiavelli.
rattypilgrim

Given the outfit Erasmus is wearing (#4) in his portrait it’s pretty obvious these rules didn’t apply to adults.
J_a_k_e

Don’t eat your friend’s face, nor his still beating heart.
Tess

I can’t stop giggling at “don’t ‘top’” and would like to suggest that people do a smidge of research before using terminology with multiple meanings.

In some contexts, topping is entirely polite. ;)
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  It’s quite hard to find anyone who wants to top. We are a society of bottoms.
  - John Maple
    
    I felt a shudder in the building when I read this. Can minds be haunted?
  - cdh1971
    
    Up!
snagglepuss

Wow. Ol’ Erasmus just invalidated the entire profession of punditry, if not just Bill O’Reilly’s schtick.

(Except for # 7. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard anybody use the word “inquisitive” to describe O’Reilly.)