Abstract expressionist urinator sentenced to probation

Police were initially unable to determine if Carmen Tisch urinated upon Clyfford Still's 1957-J no.2. But she did plenty else to the $30m canvas, and was sentenced to two years probation last week for causing $10,000 worth of damage.

Tisch, 37, plead guilty to criminal mischief after scratching, punching and sliding her arse up and down the mid-century abstract expressionist masterpiece. In addition, she must enter an alcohol dependency treatment program and undergo counseling.

The painting, measuring a hefty 13x9', is installed at Denver's recently-opened Clyfford Still Museum, which hosts it and other work by the artist, who died in 1980. According to police reports, Tisch attacked the bold, brown-dominated composition at 3:40 p.m. on December 29, 2011. Investigators ultimately determined that no urine had touched it.


  1. But her arse-sliding is a masterpiece! Who is to say it is not art in itself? Who?

    1. Really?  How can you compare what this intoxicated moron nut case did to anything art related? This act of drunken idiocy can’t be compared to the likes of  Andy Warhol’s “Oxidation” or Adreas Serrano’s “Piss Christ.” Let her make her own “ass’terpieces” on her own crappy canvas.  What she did was reckless and disrespectful. Dogs wipe their worm infested arses on stuff, not human. 

    2. But her arse-sliding is a masterpiece!

      Looks to me like she’s really on the skids.

  2. “How do we reward such an exhibitionist? We say to him or her the next morning, ‘Wow! Were you ever drunk last night!'”
    — Rabo Karabekian

    1.  I feel dumb even responding to you.

      She was trying to urinate on a work of abstract expressionism by Clyfford Still.  If anything, she was in an action art mode…

  3. Judging from the image of the original work, it looks like it may not have been finished by the artist and she was just trying to complete it.   Seriously, though, 90% of “modern art” doesn’t even look good enough to wipe anyone’s arse with.

    1. Wow, you did it!  You personally proved that modern art is objectively bad!  Congratulations, man!  What a day to be alive!

      1.  The world should thank you, sir.  Standing up and denouncing someone who openly says they dislike something.  The gall!  If that sort of thing is allowed, we might have to admit that people are entitled to their opinions and that would surely be the end of civilization!

        1. No, you are the one to thank, sir. Jumping in to chastise someone for openly saying they dislike the attitude of someone who coarsely dismisses an entire spectrum of art without providing any argument but plenty of vulgarity while putting this behaviour on the same level as fighting for the very right to free speech itself.

          (Let´s see how long we can keep this up)

        2. If only I had the guts to denounce the OP for his opinions!  No, I’m afraid this matter is much more droll – that the hatred against so-called “modern art” is cliche, forgettable and ultimately unproductive. :)

  4. To be fair, the original piece looks like it was painted with an 8-bit arse sprite.

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