If you eat a male squid that has not been disemboweled first, you might end up with said squid's spermatophores—basically, sperm-filled packets—attempting to burrow into your soft gum tissue the way they burrow through the flesh of a lady squid. This apparently hurts. We know, because it has happened to more than one person and those cases have been documented in peer-reviewed research journals. (Via Hank Campbell)

  • lknope

    Cheeky bastards.

  • Antinous / Moderator

    Spooge – the other white meat.

  • evilpeacock

    (insert Prometheus reference here)

  • Chuck

    “Waiter — I have a question about the menu.  What’s the difference between these two squid dishes?”

    “Two?  Oh, wait, that’s the menu we use after 11pm.”

    “11pm?  I thought you closed at nine.”

    “Uh … I’ll just give you the proper menu.  Let me…”

    “And why are there pictures of people in black leather on this menu?”

  • t3kna2007

    For hate’s sake, I spit my last spermatophore at thee.

  • Culturedropout

    I make it a point not to eat anything that requires disemboweling…

    • http://www.xradiograph.com/ OtherMichael

       sweetbreads FTW!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=679549499 Michael Birch

    The tingling means it’s working.  :)

  • snowmentality

    D:

    I feel the need for some kind of chaser, but unicorns aren’t enough. Maybe some nonoxynol-9 mouthwash.

    • http://scavenger-ethic.blogspot.com/ scav

      Personally, I’m going back to look at that giraffe in the swimming pool again.

  • http://twitter.com/AbelUndercity Abel Undercity

    No, I don’t think I’ll be having the calamari, thank you.

  • http://plagmada.org Tim H

    Ths s why   spt sqd nd nvr swllw.

  • Mitchell Glaser

    “I’ve probably had hundreds of spermatophores ejaculate on my fingers”

    Those lady marine biologists are like librarians, pretty wild when they get off work!

  • JhmL

    Casu Marzu, meet your competition.

  • Ashen Victor

    No blow job jokes? I’m so disappointed.

    • http://www.summerseale.com/ Summer Seale

      I actually was about to….

      It gives a whole new outlook to tentacle porn, doesn’t it….?