Vending machines of loving grace scratch-cook pizzas to order


99 Responses to “Vending machines of loving grace scratch-cook pizzas to order”

  1. kP says:

    “boogers, stray public hairs and a thin film of DNA ” — That would be MY KEYBOARD!

  2. ChicagoD says:

    There is a How It’s Made on this.

  3. “Leavening  is instantaneous”  – it’s a miracle!

    Or, maybe they just use chemical vs biological means…

  4. Christopher says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if, like their human counterparts, when not being used to make pizza these machines go out back and get high.

  5. crummett says:

    Is “pizza” a verb now?

  6. relawson says:

    Public hairs :p

    there is a self storage company here called “Public Storage”, we would always call it “Pubic Storage”

    on-topic…. I saw these machines on How It’s Made and have wanted to try one ever since! I’m glad they are coming here soon!

  7. kP says:

    Ingredients are spontaneously harvested from the local population.

  8. Mark Dow says:

    Uncannied pizza advert would work better with a Stephen Hawking voice over — more sanitary too.

    Why isn’t she wearing a hairnet?

  9. James Churchill says:

    So all that’s needed for “perfect hygiene” is to remove the humans? Hooray! I can stop worrying about cockroaches!

  10. pupdog says:

    I figured I’d check out for more of a look at the thing – Strangely for a marketing website, it doesn’t do a whole lot.

  11. william mills says:

    Pizza vending machines…I think this is my trigger for happiness.

  12. dagfooyo says:

    Looks like the device is made by actual Italians – which means the pizza has the potential to be very good, most likely far better than any pizza made by humans who aren’t Italian.

  13. Lexicat says:

    “as though pizza from a mere human kitchen comes covered in boogers, stray public hairs and a thin film of DNA”

    My nomination for best new concatenation of words not involving “Belgium.”

  14. Guido says:

    “stray public hairs”
    In this brave mechanized new world, the hairs are privatized

  15. royaltrux says:

    The water is not provided in special bags for hygiene, it is so the machine’s owner has to PAY for it.

  16. Cleo says:

    Is the pizza always served by a hot nurse?

  17. TooGoodToCheck says:

    Wow, the phrase “untouched by human hands”  is so retro.  I remember as a child, my grandfather describing homemade food as “untouched by human feet”.  

    • TooGoodToCheck says:

      A bit of googling later, I’ve discovered that “untouched by human hands” was a slogan for “Chock full o’Nuts”, but it’s unclear when they started using it.  Seems like it was in the 50s or 60s though.

  18. cleek says:

    call me skeptical.

    based on my experience, we haven’t even figured out how to build a machine that can reliably pour a glass of wine (ex

  19. Guido says:

    “made in a human-free environment”

    The Pizza Choice for embodied AIs

    The official pizza of the American Germphobic Association 

  20. dross1260 says:

    Got a soylent green vibe from that.

  21. Nash Rambler says:

    *munches slice*

    It’s good but, I dunno, tastes like there is something missing.

    *reaches for shaker can marked “Boogers, Stray public hairs, DNA”*

    Thaaaaaat’s better.

  22. Mike Guerrero says:

    Domo Oregano, Mr. Pizza Roboto.

  23. WhyBother says:

    Now if we can just get tacoCopter off the ground*, and hook the machines up to a web interface, we can have food which is completely ordered, prepared, and delivered without involving another human! Even better if it can be made to support the World of Warcraft /pizza command.

    *Pun related to start up is unintended, but delicious.**
    **Pun about the deliciousness of a pun in a food article is intended, but strangely less delicious.
    *** Yes, tacoCopter and /pizza are, sadly, both real.

  24. yadayada says:

    ” . . . without being touched by human hands, in a human free environment . . . ”

    to be eaten by human free people.


  25. timquinn says:

    Wow, what a mess. If the marketing shows such a lack of attention to detail the product is suspect. Given that, the claim for hygiene is completely empty. I would try it,but would not expect it to be any better than 7-11 pizza. OK, you first!

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      If the marketing shows such a lack of attention to detail the product is suspect.

      Why would the skills of the marketers have any bearing on the skills of the designers?

      • timquinn says:

        Yes, I am not talking about my opinion. Marketing creates an impression, that is the point, no? If they chose these clowns to do their marketing then who did they choose to design their human-less hygiene system? Reality and its description often do not coincide, that is a major clue.

  26. robdobbs says:

    How was this missed by the vending-machine-happy Japanese?

  27. Terry Border says:

    So the main selling point seems to be that it’s hygienic.  Sounds delicious.  Perfect for a boy, or girl, in a plastic bubble.

    At least it’s an Italian robot!  Of all the robots, they are the best at making 3 minute pizzas. 

  28. msbpodcast says:

    OMG… This has to be totally filled with the British equivalent of the USDA and FDA and stuffed so full of preservatives that I get hives just thinking about it.

    You just know that it will taste like shit…

    • Marc Mielke says:

      Preservatives I get, but what’s with the USDA/FDA slam? Those agencies would be the ones to make sure the meat isn’t rancid before delivery or treated with…oh…arsenic or something. Might as well include the FTC who would make sure the pepperoni isn’t actually carefully sliced out pieces of color-printed cardboard. 

      • GrumpySteen says:

         There’s a certain subset of the population that really, truly believes that everything bad that happens is caused by the government and that a corporate controlled world would be utopia.

        Just back away slowly.  There’s no point in trying to engage them in rational discussion.

    • Jose says:

      “You just know that it will taste like shit…”
      That would explain her wincing when she took a bite at the end.  Or maybe it was the shoes after all.

  29. Grahamers2002 says:

    I liked the part where the porn star talked about hygienic pizza-making machines.

  30. mbsmbs says:

    singularity achieved?…

    • malindrome says:

      Yesterday’s pizza robots took up an entire room.  Today’s pizza robots fit in the palm of your hand.  And tomorrow, we will have pizza robots embedded in your blood stream!

  31. Ian Wood says:

    I only have an overall autonomy of 64 pizzas. This is a not insignificant improvement. I will have one of these machines.

  32. Rich Keller says:

    If I’m going to  have pizza from the future, I want it delivered by some master swordsman in a car with contact patches the size of a fat lady’s thighs.

  33. bo1n6bo1n6 says:

    I for one welcome our new pizza robot overlords.

  34. Editz says:

    I’d really like to see how they keep that dough mixing chamber from getting all gunked up after repeated use.

  35. sam1148 says:

    I’m more interested about the pizza cutter that is provided.  Also, at 2:30 it looks like she deposits another coin to get the cutter, napkin, and oregano.

  36. Eddie Perkins says:

    Or ea gone oh? Is that really how oregano is pronounced in other parts of the world? Learn something new every day, I guess. 

  37. G Cardenas says:

    Pretty cool!

  38. Deidzoeb says:

    I’m no connoisseur, but I always thought Domino’s and the take-out joints were screwing up when huge bubbles formed in the dough. Are dough bubbles more authentically Italian?

    • snowmentality says:

      I have no idea about Italian-ness. But when I make my own pizza dough and bake it in as hot an oven as I can get at home, I usually end up with a bubble or two. I think it happens when the crust is pre-baked without toppings to weigh it down.

      • DewiMorgan says:

        Blackened bubbles are artisanal, and should make up at least 25% of the surface area. Also, the remainder of your base must be crunchy: merely crispy is not truly Italian. Any kind of leavening or softness is a sin: the base should be no fluffier than a hard taco. The cheese must be non-existent, the tomato sauce too thick, and if you don’t have leathery, dessicated slices of tomato congealed to the top, then you’re doing it wrong. Remember that toppings should not cover the whole of the surface, and should certainly not come anywhere near the edge: the inch and a half crust you see in the video is the absolute minimum.

        Looks to me like this ghastly machine is doing a pretty good job of reproducing everything that is unpleasant about pizza in Italy.

        Why pizzas in posh Italian restaurants are so diabolically unpleasant is a mystery to me, but I suspect it’s the same deal as all other national dishes: British roast beef is as big an international joke as Italian pizza, for example, and the farther upmarket you roam, the thinner and more tasteless the wafers of sliced beef get, the waterier the gravy, and the crunchier the Yorkshire puddings. Same deal with fish and chips, too, thinking about it. Posh restaurants serve burned/soggy chips and chewy, crunchy, bony fish.

        From what I’ve found, restaurants run by working-class ex-pats are the ones to serve the best version of the food of their home country. My theory is that if they’re willing to cross an ocean to found a new life, they’re willing to take risks with their food too, and so they discover ways to get the absolute best out of the food of their fathers.

        So in the US, you get great pizza, Mexican food, fish&chips, roast beef… in the UK, you get great curry and donners.

  39. KimJong_un says:

    Cory sez:  “made extra weird by dubbing from some unknown language”

    The original, Italian (natch), video is here:

    However, this is the best product promo video:

  40. jwkrk says:

    At the place we’d get pizza in college…guy would toss pizzas while half an inch of ash hung onto the tip of the cigarette in his hand.  He’d go to the bathroom with flour all over his hands, and come out with flour still all over his hands.  But it was great pizza!

  41. teufelsdrochk says:

    At last! A bb reference (however passing) to Adam Curtis’ marvelous documentary “All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace”–or the Richard Brautigan poem that inspired it.

    This documentary should be right up mutant’s alley–I wish it had made bigger news here!

    • william mills says:

      This could have made my day if I wanted my horizons broadened, but instead you ruined it because I wanted the reference to be about my favorite laughable/loveable industrial band “Machines of Loving Grace.”

      Boo!  Hiss!

      • retchdog says:

        haha, i remember i tried really hard to like them in high school just on the name alone. of course, my friends who did like them didn’t understand the reference. so there was symmetry.

  42. Gilbert Wham says:

    “as though pizza from a mere human kitchen comes covered in boogers, stray pubic hairs and a thin film of DNA”
    You’ve been in my kitchen?

  43. Mike Guerrero says:

    The pizzas are about 4 bucks. If you want grated parmesean or crushed red peppers, those are considered premium DLC [Down Loadable Condiments] and will require an additional charge. 

  44. From their website:

    Margherita Pizza 

    Dough: Soft grain flour of ‘00’ type, water, hydrogenated vegetable fat, sugar, salt, raising agents (E450 sodium pyrophosphate, E500 sodium bicarbonate), natural aromas
    Sauce: Tomatoes, salt
    Pasta filata cheese: Milk, salt, rennet, lactic ferments, preservative (E202 sorbic acid)

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Compare to a fairly simple recipe for Pizza Margherita:

      2 packages active dry yeast
      2 teaspoons sugar
      2 cups warm water (100 to 110 degrees F.)
      2 tablespoons kosher salt
      6 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
      2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra for bowl
      2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra to grease pan
      4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
      1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves
      1 tablespoon fresh oregano leaves
      1 (28-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, drained and hand crushed (recommended: San Marzano)
      Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
      1 recipe fresh pizza dough, recipe follows
      1 (8-ounce) ball fresh buffalo mozzarella, water drained
      1/2 bunch fresh basil leaves

      Practically identical!!!

  45. Bill Sodeman says:

    Taco Bell experimented with a vending machine back in the early ’90s. 

  46. bolamig says:

    The American version will be less hygenic but more street-wise:

  47. Felton / Moderator says:

    Extra boogers and pubic hairs is two dollars.

  48. turophile says:

    I wonder if it is programmed with the 3 laws – and thus doesn’t actually give you the pizza?

  49. Mark_Frauenfelder says:

    The narrator couldn’t seem to make up her mind whether this machine makes “pizzas” or “pizzers” so she alternated the words as she spoke.

  50. aliosha says:

    I tried it a couple of years ago when I saw it in Milan’s airport.
    “Wow, pizza making robot! I have to try it”.
    It is neat. And it is one of the most horriblest unedibliest terribliest pizzas I ever had in my life, and since I once was a starving student, I know what I am talking about.

    I, for one, do NOT welcome our new pizza making robot overlords.

    • lnote says:

      Yeah I have also tried it in Milan airport – it wasn’t actually as bad as I was expecting (but I was expecting it to be inedible).  However of the many times I have been through that airport it has only been working once – I think the number of moving parts means there is a lot of stuff to go wrong.

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