Comments on: Vending machines of loving grace scratch-cook pizzas to order

By: lnote

lnote — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 12:26:00 +0000

Yeah I have also tried it in Milan airport – it wasn’t actually as bad as I was expecting (but I was expecting it to be inedible). However of the many times I have been through that airport it has only been working once – I think the number of moving parts means there is a lot of stuff to go wrong.

By: aliosha

aliosha — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 20:03:00 +0000

I tried it a couple of years ago when I saw it in Milan’s airport.
“Wow, pizza making robot! I have to try it”.
It is neat. And it is one of the most horriblest unedibliest terribliest pizzas I ever had in my life, and since I once was a starving student, I know what I am talking about.

I, for one, do NOT welcome our new pizza making robot overlords.

By: Mark_Frauenfelder

Mark_Frauenfelder — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 18:24:00 +0000

The narrator couldn’t seem to make up her mind whether this machine makes “pizzas” or “pizzers” so she alternated the words as she spoke.

By: malindrome

malindrome — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 11:33:00 +0000

The first rule of robot pizza machine is that you do not talk about robot pizza machine.

By: turophile

turophile — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 11:06:00 +0000

I wonder if it is programmed with the 3 laws – and thus doesn’t actually give you the pizza?

By: retepslluerb

retepslluerb — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:27:00 +0000

Which would equal to about 16 hours of continuous usage.

Seems pretty reasonable to me, on a first glance.

By: Ashen Victor

Ashen Victor — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 07:54:00 +0000

Italian is a state of mind.

By: DewiMorgan

DewiMorgan — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 06:33:00 +0000

Blackened bubbles are artisanal, and should make up at least 25% of the surface area. Also, the remainder of your base must be crunchy: merely crispy is not truly Italian. Any kind of leavening or softness is a sin: the base should be no fluffier than a hard taco. The cheese must be non-existent, the tomato sauce too thick, and if you don’t have leathery, dessicated slices of tomato congealed to the top, then you’re doing it wrong. Remember that toppings should not cover the whole of the surface, and should certainly not come anywhere near the edge: the inch and a half crust you see in the video is the absolute minimum.

Looks to me like this ghastly machine is doing a pretty good job of reproducing everything that is unpleasant about pizza in Italy.

Why pizzas in posh Italian restaurants are so diabolically unpleasant is a mystery to me, but I suspect it’s the same deal as all other national dishes: British roast beef is as big an international joke as Italian pizza, for example, and the farther upmarket you roam, the thinner and more tasteless the wafers of sliced beef get, the waterier the gravy, and the crunchier the Yorkshire puddings. Same deal with fish and chips, too, thinking about it. Posh restaurants serve burned/soggy chips and chewy, crunchy, bony fish.

From what I’ve found, restaurants run by working-class ex-pats are the ones to serve the best version of the food of their home country. My theory is that if they’re willing to cross an ocean to found a new life, they’re willing to take risks with their food too, and so they discover ways to get the absolute best out of the food of their fathers.

So in the US, you get great pizza, Mexican food, fish&chips, roast beef… in the UK, you get great curry and donners.

By: waetherman

waetherman — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:46:00 +0000

I cannot disagree with on that :)

By: MonkeyBoy

MonkeyBoy — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:16:00 +0000

Cloaca Maxima? A new source of water.

By: retchdog

retchdog — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:07:00 +0000

yes, exactly. hint: “italian” isn’t a race.

By: retchdog

retchdog — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:07:00 +0000

debatable, but we’ve definitely (over-)perfected espresso.

By: retchdog

retchdog — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:06:00 +0000

water does make a difference in pizza, but since the crust is chemically leavened; made with hydrogenated oils; and kneaded in two minutes and pressed into shape, maybe it won't make much of a difference in this pizza.

By: retchdog

retchdog — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 02:02:00 +0000

haha, i remember i tried really hard to like them in high school just on the name alone. of course, my friends who did like them didn’t understand the reference. so there was symmetry.

By: SoItBegins

SoItBegins — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 01:53:00 +0000

As long as it’s only public hair.

By: Felton / Moderator

Felton / Moderator — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 01:42:00 +0000

Extra boogers and pubic hairs is two dollars.

By: Mark Dow

Mark Dow — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 01:37:00 +0000

Includes extra-extra-virgin olive oil. I’ll try that.

By: snowmentality

snowmentality — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 01:03:00 +0000

I have no idea about Italian-ness. But when I make my own pizza dough and bake it in as hot an oven as I can get at home, I usually end up with a bubble or two. I think it happens when the crust is pre-baked without toppings to weigh it down.

By: Jeremiah Blatz

Jeremiah Blatz — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:57:00 +0000

Given the baking soda leavening and too-cold oven, I wouldn’t bet on it….

By: bolamig

bolamig — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:50:00 +0000

The American version will be less hygenic but more street-wise:

http://www.teamtigerawesome.com/pizza-robot/ep1.html

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:45:00 +0000

Compare to a fairly simple recipe for Pizza Margherita:

2 packages active dry yeast
2 teaspoons sugar
2 cups warm water (100 to 110 degrees F.)
2 tablespoons kosher salt
6 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra for bowl
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra to grease pan
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves
1 tablespoon fresh oregano leaves
1 (28-ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, drained and hand crushed (recommended: San Marzano)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 recipe fresh pizza dough, recipe follows
1 (8-ounce) ball fresh buffalo mozzarella, water drained
1/2 bunch fresh basil leaves

Practically identical!!!

By: Bill Sodeman

Bill Sodeman — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:32:00 +0000

What have the Romans given us? Besides the aquaduct, roads, schools…

By: Bill Sodeman

Bill Sodeman — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:25:00 +0000

They can put us to work in their flour mines.

By: Bill Sodeman

Bill Sodeman — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:24:00 +0000

Taco Bell experimented with a vending machine back in the early ’90s.

By: David Weintraub

David Weintraub — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:19:00 +0000

From their website:

Margherita Pizza

Dough: Soft grain flour of ‘00’ type, water, hydrogenated vegetable fat, sugar, salt, raising agents (E450 sodium pyrophosphate, E500 sodium bicarbonate), natural aromas
Sauce: Tomatoes, salt
Pasta filata cheese: Milk, salt, rennet, lactic ferments, preservative (E202 sorbic acid)

By: william mills

william mills — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:14:00 +0000

This could have made my day if I wanted my horizons broadened, but instead you ruined it because I wanted the reference to be about my favorite laughable/loveable industrial band “Machines of Loving Grace.”

Boo! Hiss!

By: Culturedropout

Culturedropout — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:06:00 +0000

Baking powder, anyone?

By: Mike Guerrero

Mike Guerrero — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:02:00 +0000

The pizzas are about 4 bucks. If you want grated parmesean or crushed red peppers, those are considered premium DLC [Down Loadable Condiments] and will require an additional charge.

By: timquinn

timquinn — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:55:00 +0000

Yes, I am not talking about my opinion. Marketing creates an impression, that is the point, no? If they chose these clowns to do their marketing then who did they choose to design their human-less hygiene system? Reality and its description often do not coincide, that is a major clue.

By: Gilbert Wham

Gilbert Wham — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:47:00 +0000

“as though pizza from a mere human kitchen comes covered in boogers, stray pubic hairs and a thin film of DNA”
You’ve been in my kitchen?