Rev. Ivan Stang retires from Church of the Subgenius, appoints successor

Jeremy sez, "Church founder Ivan Stang has released a brief statement naming his (iron-fisted?) successor. Something inside me has died. I just KNEW I should have pulled its beak off first. Seriously, this shit HURTS."

Rev. Ivan Stang announced today his retirement from the SubGenius Foundation, citing his ill demeanor and declining patience with internal conflict among the members of the SubGenius Church, appointing long-time collaborator Dr.K'taden Legume to the position of President and CEO of the Foundation.

Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, "The Hour of Slack", and attend personal speaking engagements. Rev.Stang later commented, "I'm sick to death of dealing with idiots when my time can be better spent attempting to capture the vicious Jaggi".

Dr.Legume immediately appointed Priestess Pisces as his VP, and stated that his first order of business is to examine the membership rolls and "weed out the dead weight and the malcontents".

The Office Pulpit of Rev. Ivan Stang (Thanks, Jeremy!)


  1. I’m glad that Rev. Ivan Stang will still be producing The Subgenius Hour of Slack as this is  a weekly rite that brings cheer, and frop, to the masses of minions (with me among them.)

  2. I was an early Subgenius. One of my rants made it onto the semi-official or official X-Day video, I’m told. But I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we’re still telling this joke in 2012. X-Day was SIXTEEN YEARS AGO. We live in the World Without Slack. We’ve been living in the World Without Slack for a very long time. Fake slack is all the slack you’re ever going to get. Get used to it, already!

    Seriously, The Book of the Subgenius was a spot-on parody of the 1980s and early 1990s. But that was a long, long time ago. How is it still even vaguely funny?

    1. Sometimes it takes a while for people to notice the joke, even if they never get it. Only now are the conspiracy freaks taking notice of the 80s Secret Service raid on Steve Jackson Games and the Illuminati New World Order game (and conflating the two).

    2. Considering how closely the “we must thin the ranks” rhetoric of successor Legume resembles what we heard from Pope Benedict XVI when he succeeded John Paul II, I think the Subgenii still have a bead on timely humor and satire.

      1.  Considering the fact that Benedict celebrated his inaugural Mass back in 2005 I don’t know if “timely” is really appropriate.

        On the other hand,  a good harrowing is timeless.   It’s practically de rigueur when a certain type of leader replaces his predecessor.

    3. I was never meant to be funny. 

      It was performance art.

      There is no time limit on art. (Is the Louvre worthless?) Old masters get to be old masters one day at a time.

      Even when it only serves to remind you that it was performed, it is still valid as a living performance.

      The Dream Never Dies, Just The Dreamer.” -The Cooper Brothers

      1. Except that topical humor tends to have a very short expiration date. Compare it to Weird Al’s movie “UHF,” which was absolutely hilarious … if, and only if, you had recently seen all the movies that it parodies and if, and only if, you had seen a lot of 1970s and 1980s low-budget TV. I went back and tried to watch it the other day, and it was surprisingly dull.

        Or a better comparison would be to try to do one of Euripides’ more topical plays, like his otherwise brilliant parody of post-Socratic philosophers, /Clouds/ — but leave in all of the then-current political humor about politicians and businessmen that none of us have ever heard of. Watch the audience zone out on you.

        /The Book of the Subgenius/, et seq, was a spot-on parody of 1980s televangelists and other 1980s kooks, but seriously, how funny is a Jimmy Swaggart joke to anybody born after, say, 1970  or so?

        1. Your point would be valid were it not for the fact that the joke is still being set up to this day. As long as there is fundamentalist religion, Scientology, UFOs, new age bullshit, pseudo-science, charlatans, and infomercials, it will be topical. Hell, the punchline will be  seriously fucking futuristic, when it finally gets here.

    4.  The important thing to remember is that its primary source material – the various Christian-themed cults that were prevalent in the 80s – are still with us today.

      As long as these cults exist, us Yetinsyny will have Pinks to define ourselves against, and “Bob” will never be able to get life insurance.

    1.  Stangor now on Level 3. Captured Great Jaggi, saved Shakalaka from monsters. Got new armor of Jaggi Hide, got Switch-Axe, many Zennis. Yet Stangor still not know if him have dick or even butt. Stangor no can take off weapon or clothing. Stangor eat many times yet not shit once.

        1.  Stangor advancing swiftly. In last two sleeps, slew 6 Great Jaggies JUST FOR FUN AND REVENGE. (Them interrupt Stangor’s cooking of Raw Meat into Well Done Steaks!) Last night, slew 40 Jaggis, 20 Jaggia, 3 Great Jaggies, can’t count slain Kelbi and Aptonoths. New upgraded Jaggi Armor very good! But Stangor hesitant to take next Quest, “Slay 6 Rhenoplos.” Stangor practice with Lance, decide Lance very good weapon despite first impression. Switch-Axe shiny, but no good for blocking. Little Weak Glasses Man that Stangor control in Fake World on other side of screen, him say we must “go online” (??!?) soon. Maybe Spezz be online team-mate of Stangor. Stangor hate to admit, but Stangor newbie. Or, Stangor lost memory of fame in old days, hit in head too many times by Jaggi tails. Villagers treat Stangor like hero yet him no remember anything before arrival in Moga Village.

    1. Jesus fucking Christ was a rather ironic reference, wasn’t it. :-)

      The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is proof of that…

      As Lewis Carroll’s Red Queen said: We believe a dozen impossible things before breakfast.

      We also are fully aware of their total uselessness … unlike certain other religions that take themselves entirely too seriously.

      What’s really your point?

  3. I’m still not sure how i feel about all of this, but i sure do wish the good Reverend the best in whatever crazy shit he gets up to next. And hopefully the Church will prosper under the rigid authority of Dr. Legume. Praise Dobbs, and long live Stang!

  4. Just some links for kicks… Here’s a cool interview (from sometime?) with Stang where he really goes in-depth about the Church:

    And here’s a couple of relatively recent podcasts:
    (audio: )

    Obviously, these interviews are all 100% BS (Before Stanglessness)

  5. Really, quitting to play vidja games is probably the way I’d like to go myself. Next to sweet death, it is the best way to retire, I figure. Luck on them Jaggis, Stang.

  6. I never got fully down with the program, as I have often been loathe to join anything larger than myself and even more often been unwilling or unable to part with the twenty dollars (now thirty-five, the shameless bastards).

    But, anyway, as long as this means they are getting their own cable channel soon it’s fine.

  7. There are plenty of nay-sayers around, but to me our Church leadership has never been a problem.  The Local Clench is what matters.  Now, if I could just get some help tilting the luck plane this way…

  8. You’d think that impatience and ill demeanor would be reasons to continue to lead the Church of the Subgenius… though of course I suppose they are not reasons to want to!

  9.  I call spoof. The six-figure salary is a dead giveaway. “Bob” makes milions every time he f**ks up, but no living Subgenius has seen a penny of it. Or else that June 30 sounds ominous…

  10. I thought the haiku reading of everyone that is banned from X-Day was a particularly nice touch during the live inauguration speech tonight. I sure am going to miss Stang though, I can’t believe he’s even ending the Hour of Slack. At least he’s going to keep working with X-Day, though I’ll never make it out to the new campsite in California.

    1. I can’t believe it either, especially since the article specifically says he isn’t, to wit:  “Rev. Stang will continue to produce his nationally syndicated radio program, “The Hour of Slack”, and attend personal speaking engagements.:

  11.  I had a giggle or two back in the early eighties when I sent away for the church membership packet–I may still have some of the stickers–and High Weirdness by Mail was lots of fun to look through in the days before all of the people in it (or their spiritual/psychiatric descendants) got web sites. Good times.

  12. I proudly rebroadcast The Hour of Slack via my college radio station for a few years in the late ’80s early ’90s.  Rev. Stang sent us the programs on cassette, which were of course extraordinarily tape-hissy, but certainly did the job.  I also purchased the book and VHS video tape along the way.  Things were simpler back then, but sadly I think people on the whole have gotten simpler since then.

  13. Stang Retirement “News Release” Confession

    We hate to have to reveal this so soon, but the hoax (originally published ONLY on SubGenius sites) is already making the news — which should tell you something about the dependability of the news.

    That “news release” about Stang retiring was merely another in a series of SubIntelligence Tests: a Gullibility Test in this case. We truly thought it too preposterous for ANYBODY to believe. So, despite previous similar tests, we are again sincerely surprised to see how many, ahem, “SubGeniuses” failed utterly to see through what should have been grossly obvious as a put-on — especially within the context of The Church of the SubGenius. Every now and then we do things like this to sweep out the wishful thinkers, Gimme-Bobs, the eagerly gullible and a new species: those too dumb EVEN to be a SubGenius (something we previously imagined to be a contradiction in terms).

    Some folks can’t handle or even recognize satire unless it has a laugh track or Smiley-Face icon attached to it, and those are NOT the kind of people that are going to benefit from “Bob’s” Church; many such individuals have in fact become huge liabilities in times past. You might call it “Spring Cleaning.” Weeding out the “believer” types and/or the Slacklessly judgmental — or, rather, setting up a situation whereby they weed themselves out in reflex butthurt ragequitting — increases the likelihood of the Xists coming through this year, FINALLY. For, as it says in The PreScriptures, “The Conclusion-Jumper shall be at The Judgment.”

    Again, for those with reading comprehension disabilities:

    I, Stang, am not retiring; we just wanted to see how various people, especially certain chronically jealous haters, would react to a transparently absurd hoax. We were eager to see who would WANT to believe it.

    The most hilariously indignant responses were selected for reading on HOUR OF SLACK #1365, aired last Sunday night. Special thanks to Dr. Legume for writing the news release, and to the chronic whiner who did everything he possibly could to get himself “banned,” yet failed even at that. What he DID manage to do was inspire this particular test session.

    There will be another pop quiz tomorrow.

    For those who must have this sort of thing spelled out, the news about the SubGenius mom’s missing child, and his subsequently being found, was NOT a hoax.

    1.  Well that was sure some fucked-up formatting. I’m on a pre-Intel Mac and these things happen way too often now.

  14. The truth is that there is no “Bob.” The Illuminati is cats. Eris is laughing. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. And the church I’m a member of just trolled one of my favorite authors. I feel like I got a birthday present.

  15.  We were gonna let the hoax run its course for a little longer, but when it appeared in BoingBoing and other, er, respectable places, outside of SubGeniusland, and when I started getting letters from old friends who were worried about me, we decided to cut it short. I’m know we pissed off some people, but if they cared THAT much about Church of the SubGenius they’d have been on the ScrubGenius forum and would have been “in on it.”

Comments are closed.