Comments on: Tactical stabbing pen adds handcuff key and other stuff

By: smallteam

smallteam — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 19:42:00 +0000

A mall with Muzak composed by Baaba Maal?

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:50:00 +0000

I think that is the best deterrent to crime I’ve seen in ages.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:49:00 +0000

“Excuse me but I must write a letter to my lawyer, as per my right.”

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:49:00 +0000

I prefer “strategic” objects. I’m just biding my time, looking at the big picture.

By: SomeGuyNamedMark

SomeGuyNamedMark — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 15:47:00 +0000

Or when grandma slaps the handcuffs on you.

By: Mitch_M

Mitch_M — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 03:16:00 +0000

The first thing I did when I was handcuffed was tuck my legs through my arms to be more uncomfortable with my hands on my lap. The cop got pretty annoyed and redid them behind my back the first time I did it. He got real fired up and threatened to tie me up even more the second time I did it.

By: Cypherpunks (a public account)

Cypherpunks (a public account) — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 21:36:00 +0000

Hey, fish need labels too! Otherwise how are you going to know when they go bad?

By: Ultan

Ultan — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 20:47:00 +0000

Hey, everybody needs a hobby.

By: nox

nox — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 16:19:00 +0000

At the other end of the spectrum, I found pink uzi handcuffs on a deal a day site.

By: Crashproof

Crashproof — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 16:02:00 +0000

I’ve often thought James Bond stopped being fun once everyone had cellphones and you can buy laser pens at the pet store for two bucks.

By: lafave

lafave — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 15:03:00 +0000

Any pen is (capable of being) a stabbing pen

By: Jim Saul

Jim Saul — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 14:46:00 +0000

I see… that explains the success of Houdini’s regurgitakey gag. Perhaps some day I’ll be glad to have long arms and short legs.

By: Christopher Weuve

Christopher Weuve — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 13:54:00 +0000

1) This thing is the size of a baton!2) “The DNA Catcher on the crown of the pen is very sharp…” Wow, my shirts are going to love that.3) “…writes …under water.” On what? Fish?

By: Tynam

Tynam — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 12:05:00 +0000

Sure, as long as you don’t bring any ink refills. Can’t risk those liquids getting on a plane.

By: mjfgates

mjfgates — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 09:34:00 +0000

It’s a real handcuff key. The thing is, the lock on a pair of handcuffs wouldn’t even deserve the name, if they were on something that wasn’t holding your hands together behind your back.

By: Michael Leung

Michael Leung — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 06:43:00 +0000

Would this be legal on an airplane?

By: Ladyfingers

Ladyfingers — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 05:55:00 +0000

I love how the nature of these “tactical” objects implies that every other tactic has failed.

By: Cynical

Cynical — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 03:22:00 +0000

…and who supervises the Mall Ninja Mall? The Mall Ninja Mall Ninja. Where does he buy his stuff? The Mall Ninja Mall Ninja Mall.

It’s Mall Ninjas all the way down.

By: Snig

Snig — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 03:06:00 +0000

Since you can stab someone with a run of the mill bic, it seems it would usually be a tactical error to carry around a pen that says “Hey, my owner is the kind of guy who’s really into stabbing folks with pens!”

By: SedanChair

SedanChair — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 02:44:00 +0000

Cops are the only folks douchey enough to buy this; it makes sense that they added a handcuff key.

By: Jim Saul

Jim Saul — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 02:24:00 +0000

That would be a nice include with a Saddleback Leather briefcase.

I wouldn’t carry it in a front jeans pocket though. I’ve had even normal pens try to take a DNA sample that way.

I don’t anything about handcuff locks, but assume there are recreational locksmiths among the readers here… is that anything close to what is claimed?

By: Rezeya Montecore

Rezeya Montecore — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 02:20:00 +0000

Or a deep-seated fascination with elegantly overcrafted fiddly objects.

Incidentally, I’ve never much gone for the notion that there is a one-to-one correspondence between interests and motives. It’s led to a lot of snarky and uncharitable assumptions about fundamentally harmless things.

By: Spencer Cross

Spencer Cross — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 01:53:00 +0000

I’m sure that Rothco, who I believe manufactures it just, licensed the Uzi name from whoever currently holds the rights. Knife and gun makers seem to love to license out their names for all kinds of unrelated crap.

And I’m not sure why it’s being called “Think Geek’s Uzi Tactical Defender Pen.” They’re juts a reseller. It’s not Think Geek’s any more than it’s Amazon’s, which is where I bought mine.

By: mat catastrophe

mat catastrophe — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 01:27:00 +0000

You mean they won’t politely wait while I get my pen out of my pocket and palm it in my right hand before they cuff me?

Damn cops. Ought to be a law….

By: adonai

adonai — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 01:21:00 +0000

I suppose that’s why Q isn’t in the new Bond films…MI6 can just order their gear off the Internet now.

By: Antinous / Moderator

Antinous / Moderator — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 01:12:00 +0000

Make it a little thicker with a detachable clip and it would have another built-in function.

By: fuzzyfuzzyfungus

fuzzyfuzzyfungus — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 00:44:00 +0000

Alas. Still a pocket-clip, rather than a proper Picatinny rail mount.

I don’t know about anyone else; but I am definitely carrying at least a carbine far more often than I am letting the world be deprived of my rippling abs by a shirt…

By: JIMWICh

JIMWICh — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 00:39:00 +0000

If you exclaim, “My pen is Uzi” people will definitely avoid you, but because they’ll think you’ve got the clap.

By: foobar

foobar — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 00:24:00 +0000

A big, hard pen is hard to find.

By: malindrome

malindrome — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 00:12:00 +0000

Why is this called an "Uzi" pen? Is that not a brand name? I guess Israel Military Industries doesn't own the rights any more, but can you just apply Uzi to anything you want?