The horrific story of Florida cannibal Rudy Eugene, who ate the face off homeless man Ronald Poppo last month before being killed by police, made "bath salts" a household term. Turns out though, Eugene wasn't on bath salts. Or LSD. Or synthetic marijuana. Or alcohol. Or prescription drugs. According to CNN, medical examiners found THC in his system. Please, no "munchies" jokes.

  • BillStewart2012

    One of the news reports had an interview with his girlfriend, who said he’d decided a couple days earlier to stop smoking marijuana, which he had been using large quantities of to deal with his anger problems.

    • BadIdeaSociety

      There was also a post that I believe was hosted on this site blaming his abstaining from marijuana for the bout of extreme rage.

      • http://openid.anonymity.com/ycjocq Anonymous

        If I recall correctly, it wasn’t so much blaming the abstinence  from marijuana for the rage, rather pointing out that he had underlying anger issues of which he used marijuana to cope. 

        He had recently decided to quit, so there indeed would still be traces of THC in his system. Now they have a taboo substance to point their fingers at and say “this must be what made him do it” to help us further forget that we actually do have Free Will and are responsible for our own actions.

        I smoke it regularly myself, and whether stoned or sober have never had the urge to eat someone’s face. I have however used it to mellow myself out when I’ve been overly angry at someone or something.

      • wysinwyg

        I can’t find the post you’re talking about, but it was a reference to a post on the Narco Polo blog.

  • CSBD

    I just want to say that I get angry too… but I don’t ever think about eating peoples faces…

    Ok.. back to the “cannibal”
    Its nice to know that he was either:
    A. On something they did not test for (new and or odd synthetic)
    or 
    B. Way beyond batshit crazy.

    A. could be a problem if there is more floating around.
    B. is probably not contagious, unless of course there is some sort of virus that causes people to eat faces etc. causing the virus to spread as more and more people become bitten and infected.

    Will it be turned into a TV show called ”The Walking after recently giving up Pot”?

  • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

    I, for one, am shocked that a ‘fact’ that originated as a police union official unrelated to the case(and, if the department was of any significant size, probably more related to labor relations than policing) speculating on TV about the cause of the crime before the body was cold or the lab guys had even had a chance to break out the science machines, was blatantly false…

    The disconcerting thing is that it was so readily picked up… Even if cops didn’t already have a reputation for, er, epistemological flexibility when it comes to reports, how would an unrelated person with no test information from the scene possibly know anything useful? And why wouldn’t a reporter ask them that?

  • http://echofox3.blogspot.com efergus3

    Remember, don’t waste your ammo: HEAD SHOTS ONLY! And so begins World War Z.

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

      The Miami guy appears to have just been a  quisling. Standard anti-human procedures should work just fine. 
      http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Quisling

      • Ipo

         He must have smelled bad then. 

        • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

          He should have tried taking a nice bath.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AMOFXBDOGXVBNV4LFWMCP63JZU BlurCode

            With bath salts.

  • relawson

    I’ve got 5$ on this being an example of why pot is EVIL!

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 Michael

      Keep that $5 and save up for a dimebag and chill. Pot is as responsible for this crime as oxygen is. The guy had some issues.

      • relawson

        I bet you an ounce he also had dihydrogen monoxide in his system, too!!! That shit makes you BATTY!

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandre-Conrady/593029386 Alexandre Conrady

          Shit I heard that stuff can kill you if you breathe it.

  • HahTse

    He was also characterized as a very religious person.

    …afaik Weed doesn’t turn you into an aggressive zombie…

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

      Hoc est corpus… Tuum!

      • http://profiles.google.com/iandavidosmond Ian Osmond

        Okay, THAT one made me laugh out loud.

  • http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair

    Nothing good ever comes from listening to cop spokespersons. Their standard M.O. is to release slander against anyone they assault.

    • CSBD

      Was it the same cop who sent the alert about Butt-Hash out to all the schools?

      • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

        You Monster! “Jenkem” killed my nearest-non-verifiable-relative-and/or-friend-of-a-friend’s best friend!

    • fuzzyfuzzyfungus

      What is impressive is that they managed to slander somebody who had already been caught on tape growling and eating a guy’s face…

  • skeptacally

    The Cannabis Cannibal?  The Cannabisabal?

    • skeptacally

       The Cannibalabis?

      • skeptacally

         I wish there were an extreme cross-country car race involved:

        The Cannonball Cannibalabis.

  • Jen Galatioto

    THIS IS NOT HELPING THE LEGALIZE POT CAMPAIGN!

    • http://profiles.google.com/iandavidosmond Ian Osmond

      “If pot is illegal, only insane cannibals who might be zombies will have pot!”

      No, it doesn’t really flow, does it?

    • Ipo

       Eugene carried a Bible that day, which was later found at the scene. 
      We might have to reconsider the legality of those books. 

  • That_Anonymous_Coward

    But but but how can we keep the media hype about bath salts, K2, Spice, et al going when we start having to report the truth rather than assumptions??
    News stations in the Detroit area carried out a huge campaign  to stop these horrible drugs by shaming stores carrying perfectly legal products, pretending they were supposed to ID customers, and point to a few tragic deaths. 
    Death from smoking a basically unknown substance isn’t the fault of the maker, the seller, the parents, it is the fault of the person who bought it, lit it, inhaled it.
    More people still die in drunk driving incidents (being drunk and driving isn’t an accident, unless your the victim), but there isn’t this giant media out pouring against it…
    And it was nice how one of the tragic parents kept pointing out there was no treatment centers in the state and you needed to go to a certain place out of state for the proper treatment…

  • Brandon Wright

    And so one person ruins it for the rest of us… again…

  • Bruce Heerssen

    “Please, no ‘munchies’ jokes.”

    But… but… but…

    Ah, screw it. I’ll just go get some barbacoa.

  • RobDobbs

    I’ve heard of Zombie Weed that will fuck you up – but this is redonk.

  • Idle Tuesday

    This is your brain. This is your brain when I’m on drugs (nom, nom).

  • benher

    Well, now that this evidence has come to light, I’m sure every responsible media outlet will release corrections and apologies ad nauseum in order to suppress any confusion caused by their previous dissemination of disinformation regarding conscious altering substances. 

  • SHaGGGz

    Masterfully executed jocular apophasis there, Dave.