By Cory Doctorow at 12:53 pm Sun, Jul 1, 2012
Make of it what you will.
Stay Young the Vampire Way
Thanks to Benjamin Wilson for locating what appears to be the original source for this, a $13.13 8x10 print from Etsy seller HorrorHostMagazine.
“Fresh squeezed”? “Consentrated”? You’d think being immortal, vampires can devote a few years to studying grammar.
Mr. Kang, methinks they meant “Flesh Squeezed” and “Consecrated”!
And what’s this BB trend with the first comment almost always being a snarky downer?
Maybe the ‘bood donor’ consented to having his blood canned.
When you live for thousands of years, the constant evolution of language becomes such a tiring chore, give me Middle English any day.
So I’m guessing the image started out as this one: (thanks, TinEye!)
DON’T FALL FOR IT! IT’S A TRAP! If you look closely, you’ll find that the return address for enquiries is c/o B. Summers, Sunnydale, CA.
Fresh-squeezed and from a can? I don’t think so. Look, if you can’t get it from a live human, at LEAST get it from a glass container. That metallic taste from a can is disgusting. *shudder*
But every paranormal romance novel that I’ve read says that you get a metallic taste when there’s blood in your mouth.
Well, sure, the standard copper taste, but something like a tin can? No no no, that just won’t do.
Blood has an iron metallic taste. Tyger must not like an aluminum or tin metallic taste. I’m guessing.
Blood has an iron metallic taste.
You clearly don’t read bodice rippers.
It’s true. I don’t. Tyger said copper, so evidently I can’t tell one metallic tinge from another. I figured iron from the hemoglobin.
As long as the can’s not made of silver, it shouldn’t be a problem!
And don’t get me started on the plastic bottles that new drink, Sunny B, comes in. Kids these days.
We had those glasses when I was a child. Anchor Hocking Laurel pattern.
You remember Anchor Hocking? :)
They’re still in business.
The blood in that glass looks like its chilled. I think most vamps would say ewwww….
But… “vein-fresh”! yummy.
I don’t know about you, but I like my blood arterial, not venous.
Obviously, most of the copy used in this “ad” is set in Arial, which didn’t exist until 1982, long after this aesthetic had gone out of fashion.
Yet another example of vampire revisionist history.
Wow, SCDP’s copy has really taken a nosedive since Peggy left…
None of those are powdered form. The second one is concentrated frozen liquid blood.
Whew. The world as I know it is okay.
First, I went to the comments thread on the LJ site, which is entirely people trying to figure out if this is a real ad or a spoof, and if spoof, what are they spoofing?
It’s not the first time I’ve stumbled into the wrong universe. Glad to be back, you knuckleheads.
Vampires got gibbon hands?
The 50s and 60s loved their massively elevated brows, didn’t they?
Hausfrau with scouse brow.
I’ve never thought of Liverpool as terribly highbrow, to be honest.
Haus Frau Autu
“Make of it what you will”, yes I’ll make a milk shake. . . err. . . BLOOD shake. Now, which goes better with B negative, chocolate or vanilla?
Salt and chocolate are a well-established combination. Salt and vanilla not so much.
People may think that this is only for vampires, but should you find your humors a bit on the cool and damp side a tall glass of the stuff will put the lead back in your pencil.
This nifty artwork was done by my friend Dixie. :) It’s definitely one of my faves of her. I love the concept. Just posting because I think she deserves credit for it. :) http://www.etsy.com/listing/103325891/stay-young-the-vampire-way-8×10-print
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