Vampires! Fresh blood in powdered form!

Make of it what you will.

Update: Thanks to Benjamin Wilson for locating what appears to be the original source for this, a $13.13 8x10 print from Etsy seller HorrorHostMagazine.

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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spider2Ybanana

“Fresh squeezed”? “Consentrated”? You’d think being immortal, vampires can devote a few years to studying grammar.
- AviSolomon
  
  Mr. Kang, methinks they meant “Flesh Squeezed” and “Consecrated”!
  
  And what’s this BB trend with the first comment almost always being a snarky downer?
- Glen Able
  
  vampires could*
  
  :D
- RadioSilence
  
  Maybe the ‘bood donor’ consented to having his blood canned.
- http://twitter.com/chrisjimson chris jimson
  
  When you live for thousands of years, the constant evolution of language becomes such a tiring chore, give me Middle English any day.
elchip

Yum.
Glen Able

So I’m guessing the image started out as this one: (thanks, TinEye!)
http://twitter.com/rvitelli Romeo Vitelli

DON’T FALL FOR IT! IT’S A TRAP! If you look closely, you’ll find that the return address for enquiries is c/o B. Summers, Sunnydale, CA.
http://www.tumbleweed.net/ tyger11

Fresh-squeezed and from a can? I don’t think so. Look, if you can’t get it from a live human, at LEAST get it from a glass container. That metallic taste from a can is disgusting. *shudder*
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  But every paranormal romance novel that I’ve read says that you get a metallic taste when there’s blood in your mouth.
  - http://www.tumbleweed.net/ tyger11
    
    Well, sure, the standard copper taste, but something like a tin can? No no no, that just won’t do.
  - Mister44
    
    Blood has an iron metallic taste. Tyger must not like an aluminum or tin metallic taste. I’m guessing.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      Blood has an iron metallic taste.
      
      You clearly don’t read bodice rippers.
      - Mister44
        
        It’s true. I don’t. Tyger said copper, so evidently I can’t tell one metallic tinge from another. I figured iron from the hemoglobin.
- billstewart
  
  As long as the can’s not made of silver, it shouldn’t be a problem!
http://www.tumbleweed.net/ tyger11

And don’t get me started on the plastic bottles that new drink, Sunny B, comes in. Kids these days.
- PhosPhorious
  
  Sunny B+
Antinous / Moderator

We had those glasses when I was a child. Anchor Hocking Laurel pattern.
- http://artdonovan.typepad.com Art
  
  You remember Anchor Hocking? :)
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    They’re still in business.
Jake0748

The blood in that glass looks like its chilled. I think most vamps would say ewwww….

But… “vein-fresh”! yummy.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I don’t know about you, but I like my blood arterial, not venous.
http://profile.yahoo.com/V33QMESZ654W5ZGKLZBI3VN6XY Ben Patterson

Obviously, most of the copy used in this “ad” is set in Arial, which didn’t exist until 1982, long after this aesthetic had gone out of fashion.

Yet another example of vampire revisionist history.
http://twitter.com/MadelineAshby Madeline Ashby

Wow, SCDP’s copy has really taken a nosedive since Peggy left…
Joe Littrell

http://www.etsy.com/listing/103325891/stay-young-the-vampire-way-8×10-print
http://twitter.com/TimmoWarner Timmo Warner

None of those are powdered form. The second one is concentrated frozen liquid blood.
http://www.eileengunn.com Gunn

Whew. The world as I know it is okay.

First, I went to the comments thread on the LJ site, which is entirely people trying to figure out if this is a real ad or a spoof, and if spoof, what are they spoofing?

It’s not the first time I’ve stumbled into the wrong universe. Glad to be back, you knuckleheads.
pjcamp

Vampires got gibbon hands?
http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers

The 50s and 60s loved their massively elevated brows, didn’t they?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Hausfrau with scouse brow.
  - http://theladyfingers.blogspot.com/ Ladyfingers
    
    I’ve never thought of Liverpool as terribly highbrow, to be honest.
  - http://twitter.com/the_damned_fool the damned fool
    
    Haus Frau Autu
http://twitter.com/chrisjimson chris jimson

“Make of it what you will”, yes I’ll make a milk shake. . . err. . . BLOOD shake. Now, which goes better with B negative, chocolate or vanilla?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Salt and chocolate are a well-established combination. Salt and vanilla not so much.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Cooper-DiBiase/100000445446098 Cooper DiBiase

People may think that this is only for vampires, but should you find your humors a bit on the cool and damp side a tall glass of the stuff will put the lead back in your pencil.
http://twitter.com/RobotXRobot Robot X Robot

This nifty artwork was done by my friend Dixie. :) It’s definitely one of my faves of her. I love the concept. Just posting because I think she deserves credit for it. :) http://www.etsy.com/listing/103325891/stay-young-the-vampire-way-8×10-print