By Rob Beschizza at 7:50 pm Tue, Jul 3, 2012
If there’s one thing that drunk men listen to, it’s the sage advice of urine-soaked bathroom dwellers.
Urinal Cake: Ahh, you’ve done grand, laddie. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down! Burn ‘em all!
Next up: Emergency Rooms report increase in patients reporting auditory hallucinations.
Mommy, why does it talk when I pee?
Don’t want to doctor to stick no robot in meeee!
It would have to be a woman’s voice.
I reckon it should be Oscar the Grouch.
Does it speak with the voice of Majell Barret or one of the Tress MacNeille incarnations?
You know what would be good – if the urinal spash wall had some smarts that could detect the level of alcohol in the urine – you could even branch out and get one for diabetics too. If women can pee on a stick to find out if they’re preggers surely some scientist can do that.
I already use this system; If a urinal cake starts talking to me, I know I’ve had too much to drink.
Next up will be talking toilets: Congratulations you are having a baby…boy…with down syndrome!
It could have been worse. They could have given it the voice of Gilbert Gottfried.
Hey, I nearly said just that, up there ^
the “sensor” involved appears to be just a motion sensor… so the message will play for everybody, not just drunks.
Imagine the tender process:
‘Hmm, we can do a fancy urinal cake for $50 that’ll only tell you off if you’re pissed, or a $5 one that’ll tell you off for pissing on it…’
Is the urinal cake high-tech enough to tell me what she’s wearing? Is it $3.99 per minute?
If the urinal cake lady doesn’t say flattering things about my anatomy, then she can go to hell.
Where’s the most important warning?
This North American gentleman could have been saved some drunk embarrassment.
“Warning! My motion sensor has determined that I am being used in an unintended manner! I am not soap!”
I’m ashamed for my continent.
Gargle gargle gargle gargle.
I tell you this. If my toilet seat says one word to me about my diet I’m going out back and digging an outhouse.
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