By Jason Weisberger at 9:23 am Thu, Jul 5, 2012
Thanks to everyone who sent this in.
**Update: Apparently the joke in this lolpic was sourced from Brian Malow**
Related: Gettin' Higgy With it: A Roundup of Higgs Boson Jokes on Twitter
Looks a bit FSM to me. Just sayin’…
A Higgs boson walks into a bar, the barman asks “what’s the matter?”
From now on, whenever someone asks why it’s called “The God Particle”, I am going to say “it’s because of this dumb joke. It has nothing to do with God, really.”
Actually, god has nothing to do with Higgs boson. It’s just an attempt to hijack science for superstition.
Besides, its real name is actually Hogwart’s boson.
…right. I know. Hence the snarky response to someone calling it “The God Particle”.
I’m still confused about that. If it exists, why is it called the god particle?
and promptly the god particle disappears in a puff of logic.
After saying “I didn’t think of that”.
A Higgs boson sits down on a swivel chair. A coworker asks “what’s the matter?” The Higgs boson responds “I can’t spin.”
This one sounds clever; if we were at a party I would have laughed. But honestly it went over my head.
Spin is a quantum mechanics property that all fundamental particles have. Electrons, protons, and neutrons have spin- 1/2. Photons and many others have spin-1. The Higgs is predicted to be the only one with spin 0. Hence it “can’t spin.”
I’m sure “God Particle” infuriates crazy Christians and Muslims alike. It reminds me that Fred Hoyle could have saved us all a lot of grief — and outfoxed the theologians — if he had named the origin of the universe “The Touch of God” rather than the “Big Bang.”
That would not served as well for his goal of mocking the idea, given the nature of public discourse at the time.
A rarer, more fascinating discovery than the God particle itself would be someone of a secular bent who didn’t feel the need to cavil at the title “God particle.” Now that would be a rare discovery indeed.
It’s even crazier to think that the original formulator of the Big Bang theory was actually a Capuchin friar, a Catholic priest. One for the “Catholics love science” team. Go figure.
This joke was written by the brilliant and funny Brian Malow, aka @sciencecomedian. You can see the bit here: http://fora.tv/2009/11/08/Science_Laughs_Science_Comedian_Brian_Malow#chapter_07
The Large Hadron Collider actually opened a window into a parallel universe, in which Magnum, P.I. was real instead of a TV show. (Stay with me on this.) In that universe, Jonathan Higgins actually served in the British Royal Navy instead of the Royal Air Force. While in the Royal Navy, Jonathan served as the foreman of a deck crew. In essence, the Hadron Collider discovered … the Bosun Higgins.
I would expect a Higgs Boson, or any Boson, would be more comfortable in a fundamentalist church.
Here’s the usually depressing Elizabeth Kolbert’s depressing pun: A Higg’s Disappointment?
Yeah, right. How is the bartender going to have a conversation with something that only stays around for a nanosecond or so. Talk about commitment issues!
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