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Belarusian honor guard struts its stuff

Cory Doctorow at 5:43 pm Tue, Jul 10, 2012

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What's the use of running a basket-case, tin-pot totalitarian dictatorship if you can't drill an elite honor guard to perform breathtaking feats of close-order drill? Case in point, the official honor guard of Belarus.

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I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE:  belarus • choreography • military • videos • youtube

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  • http://twitter.com/scasher S. C. Asher

    That was the best impression of dominoes I ever saw.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MWKVOXTY3AQ6NP6MIV5LUKVWWE Iman Azol

      But not nearly enough execution of liberals.

  • http://www.aarongilliland.com/ Aaron Gilliland

    I don’t think they have anything left to guard…

  • http://noctilucent-studios.blogspot.com/ Noctilucent Studios

    Throw in some Rockettes style line kicks there at the end, and they’ve got themselves a deal!!

  • Westfakia

    That looks oddly reminiscent of slitscan video.

  • DevinC

    Good to see Lieutenant Schiesskopf is still getting work.

    • http://glitch.tl/ Michael Smith

      Yeah its not…. rigid enough for Major Major Major Major.

  • Antinous / Moderator

    What’s wrong with government by Busby Berkeley?  In Greece they militarizificate with pompoms on their shoes.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W2wCIHF4Qw

    • rattypilgrim

       Better than little mirrors on their shoes…or not.

    • Paul Renault

       Meanwhhile, in Britain:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ol5Dfs7jqFI

  • gnilleps

    I see Boing Boing is still mourning the loss of trippy “trails” effects in 1980s music videos.

  • Happler

    They did not do “Teddy-bear Teddy-bear Turn around”!  I am disappoint.

  • http://boingboing.net/ Rob Beschizza

    One cannonball.

  • Pickleschlitz

    That’s really neat! Hooray for Belarus! (wherever that is)

  • mudpup

    BFD our 1973 high school ROTC squad was better.

  • GertaLives

    Honestly, they’re not nearly as precise or disciplined as the Marine Corps Drill Team. Not sure what that implies about the state of our government, but it’s troof.

    • penguinchris

      Maybe not, but does the Marine Corps Drill Team do silly-but-cool routines? I’m guessing no.

      • stovedoor

        May I present: the US army drill team. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dxTBK7jI1s

        • retepslluerb

          Can anyone explain to me why “Blades of Glory” is a comedy and this is not?

        • penguinchris

          Impressive – and silly – but I think what I like about the Belarusian video is that they’re not perfect. They’re a bit flamboyant, and their routine seems slapped-together but still well-rehearsed. Same with e.g. the Greek video Antinous posted, and videos of insane military performances out of India, Pakistan etc.

          The US guys are just too serious, and I get the sense that they’d be angry if you compared them to figure skating (like @retepslluerb:disqus refers to) or other flamboyant performance sports like that.

  • rattypilgrim

    Once on a ten hour flight as I stood at the back of the plane waiting to get into the restroom I observed the entire economy class as people moved, writhed, etc. in a continuum. It hit me how much like maggots on a dead mouse we humans must look viewed from a more distant viewpoint. This video gives me the same sensation. Just sayin’.

  • grs

    Now that’s how you win wars!

  • http://twitter.com/wilmcdaniel wilmcdaniel

    For some reason all could think of was Stripes.

  • http://imcravingpresidency.tumblr.com/ SedanChair

    What’s the use of running a basket-case, tin-pot totalitarian dictatorship if you can’t drill an elite honor guard to perform breathtaking feats of close-order drill?

    Amen to that

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv_Q9MtfRHk

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/LB4BHVWPBJZCLM63X2OIEWLNAI William

    Ripple lines are cool but not really that complex compared to aerial exchanges while marching.  The drill done in the video below is on a level of difficulty and precision that does not exist anywhere in the world today of which I am aware and that includes the Marines at 8th & I.  The longer you watch the more impressive it gets.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gm1E60fmBs&feature=related

  • Shashwath T.R.

    I’m reminded of a Tamil verse, which I’ll attempt to translate

    “Adorned with feathers and garlands
    Anointed with oils and safe in the armoury
    These sharp weapons of yours.

    Those, used in war,
    Broken and dented
    Always in the blacksmith’s shop…”

    Sorry, translation’s not great…

    The setup is that the poetess (Auvaiyar) goes to dissuade a rival from attacking her patron. She calls attention to his lack of experience by pointing out that his arms and army look great on parade and display, while her patron is an experienced warleader, who’s weapons actually get used…

    • Tynam

      Your translation is great, in that I understood the point. +1 forever for introducing me to an interesting new poet. (Several, actually.)  Thanks for that, Shashwath.

  • http://disqus.com/Kimmoth/ Kimmo

    Impressive enough, I suppose… but then it makes me wonder if our ancestors in the wild would ever have attempted to intimidate a rival by masturbating.

    • ocker3

       If you’ve seen a monkey do it, a human has probably done it too

  • drukqs

    That last lick of music was giving me Super Mario vibes.

  • Guest

    Luke:  I want to make everyone able to follow orders like a monkey so as to demonstrate the awesome power of (the) *force* and to impress foreigners at the Olympics, nuclear parades, and public gatherings in general.  But I also want them to be free, autonomous, and to do things because they’re useful, not arbitrary.

    Yoda: That is why you failed.

  • dahbe

    Human Centipede. 

  • zgz

    That might be quite effective in the battle field. the opposite side will just stop and stare.

  • blake31a

    This reminds me of that weird Japanese choreographed walking where each person in a line moved to the next body position in a sequence with each step. The end effect was a silly / neat walk where they would be hitting each other if they messed up. Anyone?

    • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

       you know a youtube video would really help you right about now.

  • http://twitter.com/Ohyran Jens Reuterberg

    I will pay any man or woman with ever lasting respect who adds the the music ”One”  from A Chorus Line to this video.

  • http://twitter.com/Ohyran Jens Reuterberg

    Ok I played it in another window and shut off the sound of the Belarus video…. DO IT! 
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyZeGOsR9IA

  • Boundegar

    The blue sign in the background.  What does it mean?  I must have it!

    • Symbiote

      That’s the international standard sign for a pedestrian crossing.

      Blue signs signify orders.  Red triangular signs signify warnings, so a few countries (like the UK) have a red triangular sign instead, depending on the law for crossings.

    • Antinous / Moderator

      No Moonwalking?

    • http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki

       Bo you now have Zebra Crossings in your country?

  • http://twitter.com/nutsackylacky JoelJoel

    The real challenge is in getting the firing squad victims to fall in precise order.

  • GuyInMilwaukee

    What’s wrong with marching up and down the square?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLJ8ILIE780

  • snagglepuss

    Somebody, somewhere, has GOT to do a close-order formation drill recreation of the Ministry Of Silly Walks. Can you imagine how that would blow minds, a dozen or so perfectly-timed gangling loons, reeling around in flawless synchronization…?

    • igor alcyon

      That’s it.  I now have a purpose in life.

  • LaylaSV

    Deep inside the Kumsusan Palace of the Sun, Kim Jon Il wakes and hisses his displeasure.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_KLDXI7FI3NUHYC23SUHMGLNBCQ Tom

    Are they dressed in different colored uniforms, or is that an artifact of the video compression?

  • Petzl

    Isn’t fascism spiffy?

  • http://democracylight.blogspot.com/ Art

    Relatedly, but mostly on a shifted axis, check out these “Chinese Worm Dancers” >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nerLZdYnZBE&feature=plcp