Too good not to share -- Jacob Ewing commented in my post about SiriusXM telemarketing pests: "I use a VoIP system, and have been meaning to set it up to automatically play this [NSFW] when certain numbers call in. It's a little acappella piece I and a friend recorded for just such a purpose."

  • Peppermint

    Meh. Clever, but it doesn’t target the right people. My boyfriend worked in a call centre for a while, and let me tell you, the people there have a miserable job, feel horrible about themselves (until they become too jaded to even care), and insulting them is not going to get to the higher-ups, or even the middle managers. They are far more deserving of your compassion than your insults.

    • http://weirdly.net Jacob Ewing

       Funny enough, when my friend and I recorded this, we were both working in a call center – albeit for inbound tech support; a much lower asshat per caller ratio.

    • xzzy

      It’s not like spending hours of effort trying to find a way to voice displeasure at the “higher-ups” will do anything either. There is literally nothing I can do to prevent spam calls short of throwing my telephone in a trash can (do not call lists are a fucking joke and get willfully ignored).

      It’s a shit business and anyone working in it should be prepared for the backlash.

    • cfuse

      You are responsible for your own actions, your need for money doesn’t obviate that, nor does it diminish the rights of others (like the right of people to privacy and freedom from harassment in their own homes).

      In light of that, I’ll show telemarketers as much compassion as they show to others. Namely, none.

      • http://www.literateperversions.com Chris H

        What a fucking over-privileged point of view. Obviously you don’t have to make the choice between annoying random people and not having food to give the kids tonight. And believe me, that’s not hyperbole; no one grows up saying that they want to be a telemarketer. It’s not a shortcut to wealth or status. At best, it’s something you do when you need something–anything–to bring in some money. And as far as the morality of choices, there are far more immoral things to do. It’s not like these people have decided to become fucking investment bankers.

        Kurt Weill described the moral logic of poverty beautifully in “What Keeps Mankind Alive”:

        You gentlemen who think you have a mission
        To purge us of the seven deadly sins
        Should first sort out the basic food position
        Then start your preaching, that’s where it begins

        You lot, who preach restraint and watch your waist as well
        Should learn for all time how the world is run
        However much you twist, whatever lies you tell
        Food is the first thing, morals follow on

        So first make sure that those, who now are starving
        Get proper helpings, when we all start carving

        • cfuse

          I prefer to think of the American hyper-capitalist mode of thought as underprivileged for the slaves working under it.

          If your only options are poverty or ethical compromise (which is most certainly not the case where I am) then the smart thing to do is go big. You might as well be the investment banker – the ethical compromise has already been made, and it’s just a question of remuneration.

          People just love to pretend they have no choice when what they really mean is that they don’t like a choice open to them. Begging for sympathy and compassion over a voluntary (if unpleasant) choice to act unethically seems like a bit of an ask to me.

      • Peppermint

        Yeah, I guess I should tell the depressive, unemployed, deeply altruistic man I love that he has no compassion because he has the *audacity* to want to earn more than €400($500) per month for his survival.

        Have fun on your cold and lonely moral high ground.

        • cfuse

          You always have options. People love to pretend they don’t, but the reality is that if you are in call centre and you stay there – then you made that choice (whether you are pleased about it or not is irrelevant).

          Don’t like where you are? Fix it, don’t bleat about how it isn’t your fault and everyone should have pity for you.

          As for my cold moral high ground, funnily enough if you maintain standards you feel better about yourself and you tend to be better paid than people who are willing to compromise.

    • Spencer Janyk

      Thanks for mentioning this – I was going to write something but you obviated the need. Just wanted to second the fact that this is just abusing the poor folks who have no other options but to go to the phones for this company.

  • fergus1948

    And pissing them off can backfire. They can forward your number to god knows who.

    • bluest_one

       If a telemarketer has your number, it’s because people have already forwarded your number around to god knows who (and made money from it).

  • LowerHater

    As they say in SF about the Department of Parking:
    Shitty jobs, shitty people. 

  • http://celesteagnes.blogspot.com/ Sekino

    Considering that I am married to the maker of this song and share the same phone line, I can assure every outraged person that this was made happily in jest and that we have never submitted any innocent call-center working stiff to it.  So calm down a bit and smile, okay?

    That said, I wish I had this recording back when I hit a rough patch and the collectors were calling me with personal insults and threats, dozens of times a day. They’d fully deserve this jingle, and worse.

  • Spencer Janyk

    Please don’t harass people from call centers – they’re rarely economic privileged and often have a short-margin. Harassing them isn’t helpful and can be really hurtful emotionally.

    Don’t be the person who doesn’t tip/yells at the help/harasses telemarketers.

    • Coderjoe

       So I should be expected to tip if the server does a horrible job? Yes, I know they are paid less and expected to make up the difference in tips. But it USED to be called a gratuity (though some places to still call it that). If you do a terrible job, you shouldn’t be pissed at me for leaving either a bad tip or no tip. (I also think the whole “paid less and make it up in tips” system is a terrible way to do things.)

    • Antinous / Moderator

      The point of doing it is to get them to quit until nobody will take those jobs anymore.

  • Coderjoe

     Partly because the “please don’t call again” is ignored? And it wastes time having to wait for the opportunity to say anything? (I have a stupid call come in about once a week that starts off with a recorded pitch that starts with a cruise ship horn. I have no idea how long I have to wait before there is a human or even a menu option for “don’t call me again”. I once waited for perhaps a minute and got sick of waiting.)