This list of Satan's hobbies closely matches Boing Boing's interests

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[UPDATE: This page is from a Jack Chick tract parody about Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal] I just learned that Boing Boing is the Devil's playground. The following subjects are considered "doorways to demonic possession": Illuminati, Scientology, Remote viewing, Cyberpunk culture, Vegetarianism, Lord of the Rings, Lycanthropy, Postmodernism, Alt "comix", Marihuana & Pot parties, LSD/shrooms, Video games, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons, Halloween, Fornication, Skull & Bones, Rock Music, Burning Man, Twilight films, and Goth culture, among other happy mutant interests.

LSD, cyperpunk culture, vegetarianism, Burning Man, heavy metal, and dozens more as doorways to demonic possession"

Mark Frauenfelder is the founder of Boing Boing and the editor-in-chief of MAKE and Cool Tools. Twitter: @frauenfelder. Come and hear Mark speak at the ALA conference in Chicago on July 1.

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Robert

Vegetarianism? Really? The extremists become more and more peculiar by the year. I could possibly understand the rest. Ooh, it has a scary ghost, it must be Satan. But not wanting to eat animals? Or maybe what isn’t explicitly allowed by their weird rules is forbidden?
- malindrome
  
  You know who was a vegetarian? Hitler.
  - Robert
    
    True, but you know who talked about Hitler? Hitler. Nyeah.
    - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
      
      I doubt Hitler was that self centered.
      - malindrome
        
        Famously modest and self-effacing, Adolf was. Never one to hog the spotlight.
  - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6VEPHFV2EU5OQ264UHBKNEF2UQ R J
    
    You know who was an omnivore? Stalin.
    - SomeGuyNamedMark
      
      Pol Pot liked BBQ too I bet
      - Finnagain
        
        Idi Amin was more of a rawist.
  - Martin355
    
    Hitler may have done evil things like not eating animals, but at least he killed Hitler.
  - franko
    
    Godwin in TWO. i love you, Bb commenters. : )
- Adrian Neill
  
  Because not eating the delicious meat god gave us is tantamount to spitting in his face. Source: Jewish rabbinic writings on “the legitimacy of sexual pleasure”
  - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
    
    how exactly is eating huge meat tubes connected to sexual… ohhhhhhh… gotcha.
- kaellinn18
  
  These people don’t even know their own faith. When Daniel was a captive in Babylon, he and his friends supposedly ate only vegetarian meals to prove that their god would make them stronger and healthier than the hedonists of Babylon. There’s even a freaking Christian diet (whatever that is) based on it:
  http://www.danielsdiet.com/
  - http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher
    
    Now you’re just cherry-picking the Bible to make it say what you want it to say. It’s not like any of them are ever guilty of that.
    - http://www.facebook.com/rocksteady81 Brooke Lockhart Likens
      
      The Daniel Fast is one of the most common fasts for Christians to participate in. It’s widely known and practiced, especially in hard times, or times of worship, and usually at the beginning of the new year.
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  They also are obsessed with yoga but judging from the waistlines I’ve seen around the Bible Belt I think it is due more to a desire to avoid exercise. “Lets say that treadmills are satanic too.”
  
  Now that Pilates class, THAT was satanic.
  - pepik
    
    Pilates? You mean Pontius Pilates, don’t you?
  - oasisob1
    
    ‘around the bible belt’!
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Drop/100000929402049 Robert Drop
  
  Well, there are basically three reasons for being a vegetarian – religious, for ethical reasons, and health reasons. Obviously the first one is a no-no. The second is probably equally problematic to these people – the Bible is supposed to be your source of moral behavior, so any empathy expressed beyond what the Bible OKs is suspect. (I’d guess that for these people, being nice to gay folks is Satanic.) There are also certain Christians whose whole lifestyle is (supposedly) “Bible-based” so even the health reason may not fly with them (they talk about eating meat in the Bible, therefore it’s what you should do, obviously).
  - http://www.peterbagge.com/ Buddy Bradley
    
    Not only those. I became a vegetarian (on Earth Day 1990) largely for environmental reasons, though I also feel really great being this way, so you could even say that personal enjoyment/fulfillment is another reason to be a vegetarian.
    - http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Drop/100000929402049 Robert Drop
      
      Environmentalism!? That’s surely a direct path to Satanic possession!
  - IronEdithKidd
    
    I couldn’t be arsed to care about the reasons you site. I think meat tastes bad, smells like death at all times and is generally gross. But again, that’s just me. YMMV.
  - dentarthurdent
    
    Being too poor to buy meat is another valid reason. I tend to lapse out of vegetarianism though, like when someone else is buying dinner.
  - OldBrownSquirrel
    
    Suppose you keep kosher. Suppose your apartment only has one sink, one oven, one fridge, and you decide to keep a dairy kitchen. You would then be vegetarian (pescetarian, really), at least at home, on religious principles, and they’re not going to be able to pull out Deuteronomy to condemn you.
    
    Of course, if you keep kosher, you’re probably Jewish, so there’s that.
- http://unlikelyexplanations.com laurasbadideas
  
  Maybe meat is an effective anti-demon vaccine, and by refusing to eat it, vegetarians not only leave themselves vulnerable to demonic possession, they mess up demonic herd immunity for the rest of us.
  
  Thanks a lot, vegetarians.
  - pepik
    
    Oh, so you mean that my being vegan directly led to my becoming atheist? That explains everything! How could I have been so stupid?!? I’m having a burger for Jesus tonight!
- Hosidax Hosidax
  
  I hear Kony only eats Spam.
- elix
  
  You know who started the scourge of marijuana in America?
  
  Ben motherfucking kite-in-a-storm Franklin. Well, okay, it was hemp, not psychoactive-grade cannabis, but they probably don’t care, seeing as they treat Scientology, Postmodernism, Vampirism, and Harry Potter as equally-bad tools of the devil. You’re not detail-oriented when you’re compiling a list that contains THOSE without any sort of qualification or segmentation.
- Editer
  
  Didn’t Jonah Goldberg assert that vegetarianism is a component of liberal Fascism? It’s all starting to make sense now!
don_king_kong

I don’t see porn and cocaine anywhere on that list!
- malindrome
  
  This list is especially weird because it combines the bugaboos of the 1960s – 70s (Rock music, Trilateralism) with those of today (Harry Potter, cyberpunk). And, uh, lycanthropy, which I hear all the cool kids are into.
  - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
    
    I wished they offered guides on how to do lycanthropy… you know to keep people from doing it by accident.
    - http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Drop/100000929402049 Robert Drop
      
      And levitation. I really, really want to know how to be a flying werewolf. If they have the secret they’d better cough it up.
      - Wreckrob8
        
        You simply lack the faith to see you have a choice. There is no secret.
    - Maru Elizondo
      
      Hahaha this is what caught my attention the most… Also they dont mention Pastafarianism so I guess I’m free of the devil!
      - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
        
        Ramen to that.
  - GawainLavers
    
    I’m grateful that they distinguish between Rock Music and Heavy Metal: it always irks me when they get lumped together.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    And, uh, lycanthropy, which I hear all the cool kids are into.
    
    Team Jacob. Just sayin’.
    - pepik
      
      Team George. Just sayin’.
      youtu.be/mvTCr5Z-0lA
      - John Harland
        
        Now, putting “just sayin’” at the end of your sentence is a sure sign of demonic possession.
        
        Just s*vomits pea soup*
  - Rich Keller
    
    Does wearing a fursuit fall under lycanthropy? Just askin’.
    - billstewart
      
      Dude! Shhh! If the guy who put this list together had heard of furries, they’d definitely be on it!
- Robert
  
  You know what else isn’t there? Masturbation. It ain’t fornicatin’, that’s fer sure. And where’s coprophilia? I mean, really, if you’re going to be complete, be complete. Sheesh. They even included Church of Satan in there, so you know they’re trying to be completely explicit.
  - malindrome
    
    Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.
  - http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones
    
    Can you masturbate if you’re a lycanthrope?
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      With your tongue. Don’t you have a dog?
    - EeyoreX
      
      You’ll get hairy palms for sure…
  - Tynam
    
    I kind of love that they included the Church of Satan below Yoga.
    - Antinous / Moderator
      
      You can’t get very high in the Satanic hierarchy until you can put your legs behind your head.
      - Nathan Wade
        
        Someone didn’t read Leviticus 15: 16-18… “When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his entire body in water; he remains unclean until evening. Every piece of clothing and everything made of leather which gets semen on it must be washed with water; it remains unclean until evening. When a man sleeps with a woman and has an emission of semen, both are to wash in water; they remain unclean until evening.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1659024550 Dan Mcenroe
  
  Smack also appears to be a-ok with the good lord.
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Drop/100000929402049 Robert Drop
    
    Well they seem to have singled out drugs that are associated with psychedelic or other alternative cultures. It’s unclear if it’s particular cultures into which the drugs will introduce you, or just drugs that make you have funny thoughts to which they object. (Drugs that just fuck up your life are fine, however.)
  - elix
    
    This just in: Meth is a Christian value by omission from this list.
    
    /s
herbertmcdunna

Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20
- http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
  
  what about substituting tofu for bacon? That’s gotta be a deadly sin.
  - malindrome
    
    You know who substituted tofu for bacon? Hitler.
    - niktemadur
      
      Fun facts from Wallechinski and Wallace’s “The People’s Almanac”:
      
      Considered himself a strict vegetarian although he was criticized for eating pigs’ knuckles. Ate fresh vegetables, spinach, and spaghetti. Was especially fond of asparagus tips and artichoke hearts (in cream sauce), eggs and cauliflower (combined in various ways). Loved sweets and pastries, sometimes eating as much as 2 lbs. of chocolate a day.
      Consumed large amounts of eggs… Opposed to drinking and smoking… Became vegetarian because of stomach problems. Supplemented diet (unbalanced because of large content of carbohydrates) with drugs to ward off states of depression.
      - malindrome
        
        So disillusioning! If you can’t trust der Fuhrer to keep away from the schweinshaxe, who can you trust?
greenberger

Mark, buddy, I hate to tell you this, but… duh! Did you guys really think you were getting into heaven?

Although, I am confused about a couple of them- alt “comix” seems a little too general of a category, especially when there are Christian “alt comix” around. And XTC? Really? Why single Andy Partridge out? Does God hate brit-pop?
- Ipo
  
  To get into heaven would be horrible.
  That place crawls with fundies.
  - Finnagain
    
    Not really. The fundies I know are all hypocritical, angry bigots. I don’t think they get to go to the harps and clouds club. Deep down, they know it too, and it just makes them all the nastier.
- edgore
  
  Because of “Dear God”, duh.
- http://twitter.com/thanat_o_maton PXL
  
  I wondered about that- been to a lot of raves, and I’ve never heard any XTC at any of them.
  - wysinwyg
    
    Hard to tell if you guys are joking, but XTC was a fairly common slang term for E in the 90′s. See “Trippin’ on XTC” by Green Jell(o/y).
- http://twitter.com/pentomino Nick Bensema
  
  It fits the pattern. Religious extremists denounce anything that’s done outside their particular church, including attending other churches. There’s Christian versions of lots of the things on this list, but rock music and alt “comix” frighten whoever penned this list, so out it goes.
mesocosm

(hums “My Favorite Things”)
- LYNDON
  
  Looks to me it should be possible to set these to the tune without too much tweaking…
- SomeGuyNamedMark
  
  Fornication is on it. Where will future generations of bible thumpers come from then?
  - Culturedropout
    
    I think as long as you’re both ugly and you don’t enjoy yourselves, it doesn’t count.
  - aeryn
    
    Fornication is sex outside of marriage.
- Robert
  
  Legs tied in pretzels and dances ’round altars,
  Bright little crystals and demonic psalters,
  Telling the future by reading I-Ching,
  These are a few of my Satanist things!
  
  Dungeons and Dragons and sex with a stranger,
  Fantasy movies and wolf/human changers,
  Blood-sucking people revealing bat wings,
  These are a few of my Satanist things!
  
  Floating in mid-air and not eating top round,
  Parties for smoking all cannabis compounds,
  Corpse molestation to see what it brings,
  These are a few of my Satanist things!
  
  When the goths mope,
  When the man burns,
  Before November first,
  I simply remember my Satanist things!
  And then I don’t feel so bad.
  - Finnagain
    
    Glorious! I’m giving you my Internets for the day.
    - chgoliz
      
      Yeah, take mine too. You’ve earned ‘em.
  - Antinous / Moderator
    
    Blowjobs and rimjobs and dildoes with bristles
    Hustlers and porn stars, cop strippers with whistles
    UPS drivers who like lunchtime flings
    These are a few of my favorite things.
    
    Low hanging nutsacs and big hairy asses
    Drunken Marines when they make clumsy passes
    Moist uncut cocks pierced with fat golden rings
    These are a few of my favorite things.
    
    When my knees hurt
    When my back aches
    When my pee won’t hold
    I simply remember my favorite things
    And then I don’t feel so old.
    - Robert
      
      (puts arm around Antinous’s shoulders, hoists a beer mug, and both belt out:) These are a few of our fa-a-a-a-a-a-avorite things!
CastanhasDoPara

Funny how lying, misinforming or invoking the word of the Lard to serve your own agenda didn’t make the list. Or engaging in massive hypocrisy.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  No No NO NO NO!
  
  You have to put EmPHASis on it.
  
  Taking the LAUD’S name in VAIN! HALLALUJAH!
Robert

Also, while some religions are listed, I don’t see “other religions” anywhere! Get out clause! Also, I assume “Skull & Bones” refers to the society. Because I have, y’know, a skull and some bones.
- morcheeba
  
  You can be Buddhist or Hindu, but you’d better eat meat!
  (edit: doh, I guess that’s covered under “eastern religions”)
  - CastanhasDoPara
    
    But not a Re-birther.
    
    Wow that just sounded even funnier than when I first thought of the reply. (Re-birthing is apparently a form of Yoga (which is so closely associated to Buddism or Hinduism that it’s the same diff (yes I know it’s not please don’t flame me.)))
- Robert
  
  Or maybe Skull & Bones is talking about a pirate flag. Those are soooo scary.
Ipo

This weeks program back at bOINGbOING’s lair.
Happy mutantism!
FrakSnark

“Marihuana and Pot parties.”

Can’t quite parse that.
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6VEPHFV2EU5OQ264UHBKNEF2UQ R J
  
  Is daily and medicinal use allowed but not at parties? What about a kickback?
pupdog

What if you’re not participating in lycanthropy willingly? Like you didn’t mean to get bit, but hey, sometimes things happen?

Asking for a friend.
- Robert
  
  Chicken on a string, dude. Chicken on a string.
  - Andrew Singleton
    
    Doesn’t that fall under voodoo though?
    - Robert
      
      No, look, when you’re about to turn, you go to the grocery store and get a chicken. Tie it to a string. Then you drag the chicken… oh, just watch Being Human already.
  - voiceinthedistance
    
    I have no idea what chicken on a string is, but I’m going to repeat this phrase all day as my mantra du jour.
http://www.facebook.com/joe.wallace1 Joe Wallace

The last time I was possessed by Satan, he mentioned NOTHING about ANY of this. Now I am PISSED! I know he’s called the Father of Lies, but come ON, I feel like I’ve been left out of something over here.
Bokonon

Actually, I agree with the Scientology listing
- Andrew Singleton
  
  Pssst. If you’re in Scientology you’re already in hell buddy.
http://www.facebook.com/joe.wallace1 Joe Wallace

PS. Do I understand this correctly? Bain Captial is OK, but rock music is evil? That changes my entire worldview.
- malindrome
  
  Leveraged Buy-Outs? Meh. Alt-comix? SATAN!
wigwam

It’s a shame to have to give up Boing Boing…and necromancy.
- GawainLavers
  
  You’ll pry my necromancy from my cold, dead fingers.
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/JohnPaul-Feehily/661254734 JohnPaul Feehily
    
    Or vice versa.
  - Andrew Singleton
    
    Well to be fair they see ‘raising the dead’ as God’s domain. Just like making fire, or healing the sick, or managing to pull of stripes and plad.
    
    Wait that last one is definite grounds for heresy.
http://liberalart.com/ Liberal Art

Wow, XTC made the list. They right is really sticking to that grudge over “Dear God” in ’86…
- niktemadur
  
  Don’t forget “Generals And Majors”, only a Satan-loving pinko would dare mock the fine military industrial complex.
chdunk

Must not have supported the George Bushes what with the skull and bones and all. and isn’t Rosicrucianism a little esoteric?
- GawainLavers
  
  If you’re ever in San Jose, I highly recommend:
  http://www.egyptianmuseum.org/
  
  Also, walking distance from the rose garden.
Assault_is_eternal

Marihuana. Hmm, I guess Stewie was pronouncing it correctly. Brian owes him an apology
- Robert
  
  Cool Hwip.
Chuck

Vegetarianism is obviously out because the Bible says you have to eat your way through all the animals that are standing between you and the Pearly Gates if you want to win a place in Heaven. (You’d think the lycanthropy and vampirism would help out with that, but apparently you have to rely on your own talents.)
- http://www.disoriented.net/ angusm
  
  The way to the Pearly Gates is through the Golden Arches.
  - Chuck
    
    Wait — you mean McDonald’s is still using meat?
    - Finnagain
      
      Meet, tm.
    - Tynam
      
      Mostly in the milkshakes.
http://mordicai.livejournal.com Mordicai

This is definitely my list of interests. Accurate.
UncaScrooge

They forgot to mention illegible and confounding typographic layouts.
CastanhasDoPara

Also, back-masking? *googles* Oh, so that’s what all the goof-balls are talking about when they say that if you play Black Sabbath songs backwards you can hear Satanic messages.

I’ve tried that and the only thing I ever hear is “this is stupid, you really think a bunch of stoners composed this music just so as to have a message embedded in it? Idiot, this is stupid….” but then again that’s really no different than the usual voices in my head telling me that I’m surrounded by stupid. YMMV
- http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
  
  behold the most heretical Red Dwarf episode ever:
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTFOWrVs6q0
  - CastanhasDoPara
    
    Brilliant!
    
    NODNOL
    35
    SELIM
PhosPhorious

My SSS# is 15! 16 if “palmistry” is broadly construed. . .wink, wink. . .
http://2012diaries.blogspot.com/ tristan eldritch

I wish that there were still “pot parties”.
- Shibi_SF
  
  There are! Check out the Haight or Golden Gate Park on April 20th. The party really gets going at about 4:19. Heathens, all!
  - Ipo
    
    You know who else celebrated April 20th?
    - niktemadur
      
      Oh snap! Before posting a witty retort along the lines of “You know who else pointed out who else celebrated April 20th?”, I Googled the damn date.
      Kudos sir, excellently played!
    - whowantstoast
      
      This thread has just now gotten surreal.
      - Shibi_SF
        
        I know, right? I mean, everyone knows that the April 20th Apollo 16 lunar landing was a h.o.a.x. — believers were just reading too many ALT “comix”.
      - billstewart
        
        Surrealism’s on the list, isn’t it?
http://twitter.com/johncfarrier John Farrier

I grow weary of the lycanthrophobic bigotry found in some elements of our society.
- malindrome
  
  We’re here! We’re Were-! Get used to it.
- http://vinnietesla.com/ Vinnie Tesla
  
  That was a typo–it was supposed to be Vegetarian Lycanthropy, not Vegetarianism AND Lycanthropy. There is nothing crankier than a vegetarian werewolf, let me tell you. Bad news, man.
  - rocketpjs
    
    Somehow I read that as veggie lycanthropy.
    
    While not as fierce as their animal relatives, the were-cauliflower can be somewhat off-putting and aggressively cruciferous.
GawainLavers

Necromancy and Re-birthing bad; Resurrection and being Born Again good. Right. Got it.
- Gilbert Wham
  
  Oh, Snap…
- Robert
  
  LOL, Vampirism bad; drinking the blood of Christ good.
IslandBased

I notice that my favorite religious activity, projectile vomiting, is not on the list.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  Have you had your gallon of pea soup today?
Sam Ley

By my count I have legitimately engaged in 38 of the 47 listed pursuits, including Fire Walking, Remote Viewing and Video Games. While I would normally hope to achieve all of them, I can’t abide Astrology… That’s just wrong.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  I draw the line at Scientology.
  
  Seriously. Standards ere people. Standards.
http://twitter.com/spleenal Spleenal

Aw crap! I really liked postmodernism and Alt comix.
- rtresco
  
  I love how specific they get with comics, but have umbrella listings for other things, like video games. Just no Alt comix, because they know that Superman doesn’t get placed on a no-no list. Sure he’s an illegal alien, stealing jobs from good Ameerican-born heroes, but still. Some coimcs are universally acceptable.
http://constipanimated.tumblr.com/ Greg

Don’t forget “Christianity”, which I believe falls under “Eastern Religions.”
http://excelsior-station.wikidot.com Sarge Misfit

*begins adding things to his Bucket List*
- for_SCIENCE
  
  Well, you *could* count necromancy and re-birthing in either a post-bucket list or a leave-bucket-wholly-unkicked list.
  - http://excelsior-station.wikidot.com Sarge Misfit
    
    Yeah. And there’s a few things I can leave off as I’ve already tried them. Like vegetarianism. Didn’t enjoy that at all. I kept getting the Hairy Krishnas stuck in my teeth.
    - http://excelsior-station.wikidot.com Sarge Misfit
      
      Come to think of it, soy burgers are actually okay once you add bacon and cheese :-D
      - wysinwyg
        
        Some veggie burgers are great. I like beans and chickpeas and greens and onions and assorted spices. I like meat too, but I don’t let my non-vegetarianism get in the way of enjoying vegetarian foods.
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  22 / 47 for me.
- http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
  
  if you can pull off Vampirism you won’t need a bucket list.
  - Felton / Moderator
    
    Good point, although it could still be a list of things to do before someone manages to drive a stake through your heart.
    - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
      
      more of a dust-bin list then?
Mark Lee McDonald

It took far to long for me to realize that “remote viewing” probably didn’t refer to VNC.
Teresa Nielsen Hayden

The author of that list has picked up elements from other denunciations — note the old-fashioned spelling of “marijuana”. I’ll bet you anything that he or she isn’t sure what many of them actually are.

To see how dated and random it is, look for what’s missing. It’s got the Twilight films but not the novels, Trilateralism but not Davos, D&D but not WoW, ’shrooms but not meth, and cyberpunk but not 4chan. That list has to be made up of stuff the author has seen other people label as wicked.

And for about the zillionth time, I wish Boing Boing’s readers would stop equating religion with these bone-stupid fundamentalists. It is what they’d want you to think, but it’s a cartoonishly inaccurate view of the matter, and buying into it empowers exactly those religious nutbars you dislike most.
- Jellodyne
  
  Honestly a lot of us have difficulty distinguishing between the different shades of stupidity, apart from the fact that the bone stupid fundamentalism tends to be the funniest.
- Andrew Singleton
  
  You’re mixingreddit and boingboing. I sentence you to the pit of damnation for this heresy.
  
  /s
- wysinwyg
  
  And for about the zillionth time, I wish Boing Boing’s readers would stop equating religion with these bone-stupid fundamentalists.
  
  Where do you see this happening? Please point to specific examples.
johnfoster

I happen to agree with the third one down… if you are going to lay bricks you should get paid for doing the job.
- PhosPhorious
  
  Freemasonry with every purchase over $100.
Cormacolinde

Trilateralism? WTF? They’re saying that fostering better international relations between the US, Europe and Japan is the tool of the devil?

And it’s always funny to see those fundies mention LotR, don’t they know Tolkien’s legendarium is a transposition of the christian (catholic) mythology?
- malindrome
  
  Well, that plus a whole lotta pagan Germanic and Scandinavian folklore.
- ashypete
  
  It is not so much a condemnation of LOTR as much as an implicit acceptance of Game of Thrones.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stefan_e_jones/ Stefan Jones

So, GURPS is OK? yesssss!
Hollando

Satan welcomes any and all Taoist Confucian Buddhist Shinto Voudoun Scientologist Wiccan Gaiaists. Bonus points if you’re also a vampire tripping balls while listening to Iron Maiden and reading Neuromancer.
- Sam Ley
  
  I would like very much to trip balls while listening to Iron Maiden and reading Neuromancer. Actually sounds like a great time.
  - http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
    
    and to think i’m only missing Neuromancer to complete my trifecta. Off to Chapters!
SomeGuyNamedMark

Well Church of Satan goes without saying. It is like saying a Yankees fan is into the Yankees.
- http://twitter.com/trempls tré
  
  Hey man, you can dig Satan without digging the church, just like you can dig Jesus without digging Christian organizations or you can dig Mark Sanchez without digging the Jets. Dig?
  - whowantstoast
    
    Digging Mark Sanchez should be on the list.
    - http://twitter.com/trempls tré
      
      As should digging the Yankees, as malindrome points out below.
- malindrome
  
  Speaking of which: The Yankees = tools of Satan.
  - teknocholer
    
    That’s Mr. Applegate to you.
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CfZ_M5xoqM&feature=fvwrel
http://profile.yahoo.com/5MVGHG6CZXN4WXCEIR363HYXJE Run-Amuck

Hunk of shit. Oh, sorry – the devil made me say that.
dragonfrog

I would LOVE to see a “spiritual structure” that coherently assembled all those elements.
- GawainLavers
  
  http://www.sjgames.com/illuminati/
  - TheMadLibrarian
    
    ”The Illuminati are going to use the CoS to take over the Trilateral Commission…”
Gutierrez

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” ~ Ephesians 6:12 [New International Version (NIV)]

Sounds kinda punk rock to me. Didn’t know Paul was so counter-culture.
- dragonfrog
  
  Whoah, I even checked the reference, and missed the implication at the end – even in the heavenly realms there are forces of evil, God is not even almighty in heaven, much less down here on earth…
http://rightcrafttool.blogspot.com/ Sign Ahead

Postmodernism?

As a designer, I’ve got to ask, what does the author have against bright colors, curvy lines and playful shapes? Does that mean that an Eames chair will get you into heaven, but Gehry’s hockey-stick chairs will send you straight to hell?
- Gutierrez
  
  Yeah, best I got is that was meant to be Transhumanism and he got the whole “Post Human” term confused. I still love the image of a pastor shouting at furniture, though.
  - http://rightcrafttool.blogspot.com/ Sign Ahead
    
    I think it might have to do with postmodernism’s love of ”personal meaning” and disregard for the rigidly defined systems that preceded it. But the author’s alarmism still sounds silly to me.
- ROSSINDETROIT
  
  Maybe they mean Sottsass. I hear there’s a circle of Hell with nothing but Memphis chairs to sit in.
  - http://rightcrafttool.blogspot.com/ Sign Ahead
    
    OK, that might be kinda hellish, especially for my back.
- http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker
  
  See, I just learned something. I thought Eames was modernism, and post-modernism was like, the house in Beetlejuice.
  - http://rightcrafttool.blogspot.com/ Sign Ahead
    
    Eames is modernism, which is why their chairs will get you into heaven (although those dangerous bent-wood curves may force Mies van der Rohe to kick them out of the club). Your Eames/Beetlejuice comparison is perfect!
- Beanolini
  
  Lyotard proposed that the primary character of postmodernism was incredulity toward metanarrative. Religions are basically pure metanarrative, and so some religious types find this very worrying- they think that this leads to a ‘pick & mix’ spirituality where people select the parts of various religions that they find most appealing, rather than looking for an absolute truth.
  
  Others try to examine how postmodern ideas affect their faith.
  
  I’m disappointed that ecumenism wasn’t included on the list, it was all the rage a couple of decades ago.
http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker

What if you failed at some of these things? Because, I mean, I know a lot of kids in high school who were into shit like divination and levitation. But I don’t know any who actually succeeded. (Except for the ones who claimed it totally worked when you weren’t around.)
- malindrome
  
  I guess it’s like attempted murder? Bad enough to try it, worse if you succeed …
- Robert
  
  The awesome thing about magic is that if it doesn’t work, you must be doing it wrong.
http://twitter.com/MrAaronSwainEsq Aaron Swain

Postmodernism?
A doorway to demonic possession?
Seriously?
Oh wait….they must be talking about the Portland building.
- Jen Onymous
  
  Dude, you have NOT seen some of the shit monstrosities that they are building in Long Island City. They almost sort of have a point there.
http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker

Also: I will have you know that the science tag on BoingBoing is apparently the most godly content we have. You’re welcome.
http://dailygrail.com/ Red Pill Junkie

Wot, no mention of UFOs?? I feel INSULTED!!
plyx

Checklist for an almost perfect weekend. Minus one or two….
chgoliz

Sadly, I am related to a number of people for whom this is a coherent and sensible list of dangers.
David Hall

Hold your horses!

We like Twilight now?

I like totally didn’t get that memo.
ROSSINDETROIT

I saw an ad for Rosicrucianism today in a 1958 Popular Mechanics magazine. 54 years later Hell must be well supplied with handymen.
- http://maggiekb.com/ Maggie Koerth-Baker
  
  In accordance with the prophecy.
Ethan Taliesin Houser

Feltching didn’t make the list? That’s weird.
- GawainLavers
  
  It is holy: Sant 5:23.
ROSSINDETROIT

Homosexuality didn’t make the list.
Soooo… what are they sayin’?
- aunthillary
  
  Reinforces the vegetarianism thing – they want more people eating meat.
Mister44

10 bucks says it’s from a Jack Chick Tract. The guy is nuts. Their Dungeons and Dragons one is entertaining.
- http://twitter.com/incarnedine_v Dan Hibiki
  
  I’m surprised no one put together a Jack Chick campaign setting.
  - DewiMorgan
    
    Funny, first thing I thought when seeing “Alt” Comics was Chick tracts.
http://twitter.com/atouchofyou Stephanie

I lost it at postmodernism. Good luck with that–no movies or literature made/written in the last twenty years for you!
Petzl

Trilateralism. :sigh: True story. My mother caught me trilateralizing once. I was young. Shamed, I didn’t engage in it again until I took a college course in International Relations where I was affirmed in the belief that there is nothing wrong with fostering closer cooperation among the United States, Europe, and Japan. Nothing at all! I laugh now when I recall those dark, bitter years when I lived in shame and ignorance.
- malindrome
  
  In all seriousness, fear of the Trilateral Commission was the “Obama Death Panels” of the 1970s. Barry Goldwater wrote about it in his book, and all the John Birchers freaked out. Today’s brand of crazy is nothing new …
  - wysinwyg
    
    “What big business wants big business gets
    it wants a war
    Trilateral commission goonies laugh
    and scheme for more”
    -Jello Biafra
    
    Was Jello joking or was there also paranoia about it on the left?
Culturedropout

Every so often I get a support customer who can’t figure out how to plug in a router, who insists on addressing me as “Beloved”. C-R-E-E-P-Y!
Russell Sprague

LOTR!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3YL4OBZXFN6QESL2IZCBK7G7EM Skip M

Lycanthropy? “So if you’re a werewolf, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!”
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3YL4OBZXFN6QESL2IZCBK7G7EM Skip M

Don’t they know that lycanthropy is not a choice? Jeez…
JohnH

They’re afraid of anything they themselves don’t like, and will twist the meanings of the Bible to make it appear to condemn those outside things. That is all.
http://www.lamidesign.com/plans lava

Pastafarinism is OK! Argh!
Aeron

I lost it at Twilight films! Easily the most evil thing on the list.

I thought this list was pulled from something in the 50s or 60s, but now I have to come to terms with the fact that, today, people are still this stupid.
Cynical

Where are shellfish on this list? Unlike everything else here, shellfish are actually prohibited by scripture:

9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.

10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

(Leviticus 11:9-12)

Remember folks, God hates shrimp!
http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/
- dragonfrog
  
  Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em, tell ‘em, then tell ‘em what you told ‘em.
heckblazer

I’d point to monastic orders like Cistercians and Carmelites that follow vegetarianism as part of their rule, but I suspect being Catholic also leaves you open to demonic possession.
squeeziecat

this list is the surest way to drive an impressionable and sheltered teen to research Rosicrucianism, backmasking, lycanthropy, post-modernism, fornication et al.

way to go for being the devil’s gateway list!
howaboutthisdangit

This list is going to be real eye-opener for my born-again pot-smoking vegetarian vampire friends who become werewolves for kicks on the weekends.
Richard Kirk

Woe unto them that practice abominations, for they shall be chased by unicorns, and the unicorns shall cause the multitude to remember them not.

Fruitcakes:4:22
http://www.youtube.com/user/Freethinkersanon Christopher

This reminds me of The Purity Test, which my friends and I regularly passed around in college. At first it was entertaining to see what our scores were and to try and guess who’d done what. Then we started using it for ideas and purposely tried to lower our scores.

I find that I have tried surprisingly few things on this list, but I’m going to use it as a guide for things I should be doing.
ashypete

What exactly is re-birthing? Wiki refers to something called re-birthing breathwork, you think that’s what they are talking about? Because, you know, I want to avoid it all costs… In my in-law’s family, short hair on women and wearing red would have made it to that list.
- bardfinn
  
  Role playing the re-birth of a person — a tool used by some psychological therapists to help some people.
  
  Completely different from being Born Again.
bardfinn

Trilateralism. Ephesians 6:12, THOU SHALT NOT BE OF THREE SIDES; YEA VERILY TRIANGLES ARE RIGHT OUT.
egriff5514

I actually had to look up a couple of those… not as bad as I thought!
hypnosifl

That’s a great list, the one thing they need to add to really complete it is H.P. Lovecraft!
snagglepuss

Didn’t see “Being French” or any other non-American nationality on there. I DEMAND the phone number of the printer and editor. There’ll be some goddam changes made around here toot sweet, baby.
http://web.ncf.ca/shawnhcorey/ Shawn H Corey

It’s true! I’M POSSESSED BY bOING bOING!!! ;)
Albie Farinas

Where’s “Corn Holing”…?
cavalrysword

There were only a couple things on the list that I am solidly into, those being fornication and rock’n'roll. And a few things that I have no idea what they are. Most of it is just weird/funny.
Cydonia

I know how much lycanthropes love yoga. Although I hope they get enough protein in their vegetarian diet
- billstewart
  
  Lycanthropes are really good at the “Downward Facing Dog” asana. Though really, they were just sniffing around in case anybody had dropped any bacon.
rocketpjs

Surely is is within the powers of the interwebs to create some kind of fundie denunciation generator.

For that matter, it would be a fun project to create such an outrage generator, maybe throw in a fire and brimstone random outrage sermon generator while we are at it.

Though of course the crazies don’t like to be mocked, so it would be taking your life into your hands. And your immortal soul, but in my case I lost that when my folks gave me a D&D box for my tenth birthday.
technosean

What??? NO MENTION OF DUBSTEP????!!!!?? The world really is going to… somewhere.
- Wreckrob8
  
  Fucking right, mate! We’re all fucked!
http://www.facebook.com/rocksteady81 Brooke Lockhart Likens

Does anyone know the source of this list?
chgoliz

Following links today on a completely unrelated topic brought me to:

http://youtu.be/V65DvOLQrTc

Praise Moves: the Christian Alternative to Yoga….now there’s a choice!
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  I knew a brilliant yoga teacher in training who dropped out because her Jehovah’s Witness relatives threatened never to speak to her again.
Nathan Wade

Don’t believe this article… some will but other WILL NOT lead you towards demonic possession. Vegetarianism? Pu-leaze! Read Romans 14 (The Message edition is so clear). Lord of the Rings? Rock Music? Cyberpunk? Someone needs to READ the bible!
Nathan Wade

Ecclesiastes 9:7 The Message (MSG) 7-10 Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don’t skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love Each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it, For there’s neither work to do nor thoughts to think In the company of the dead, where you’re most certainly headed.
Nathan Wade

Ecclesiastes 11: 9 You who are young, make the most of your youth.
Relish your youthful vigor.
Follow the impulses of your heart.
If something looks good to you, pursue it.
But know also that not just anything goes;
You have to answer to God for every last bit of it.
http://twitter.com/JohnBarnesSF John Barnes

Woo-hoo! Trilateral fornication forever!