Mitt Romney promises a chicken in every pot and a porn filter on every PC (except for the chicken)

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32 Responses to “Mitt Romney promises a chicken in every pot and a porn filter on every PC (except for the chicken)”

  1. Walter Reade says:

    Does this include the TSA scanners?

  2. Boundegar says:

    At the end of the clip, those guys don’t look at all convinced.  In fact, for a split second I expected comedy.

  3. mmmPi says:

    This will “make sure dad’s will have to ask their kids how to see [pornography].”

  4. Sagodjur says:

     “…parents can click that filter and make sure their kids don’t see that kind of stuff…”

    And the kids can go online and google “how to remove Mitt Romney Presidential porn filter” and be looking at teh b00bs before Romney makes $1,081.70.

  5. Theranthrope says:

    Thank you, Grand Old Party, for making it clear that you neither need, nor want, my vote in the Presidential election this year.

  6. Etheras says:

    That kid at the end when everyone is clapping is like, “I dunno if I like this guy anymore…”  :P

    • gypsyspacemuffin says:

      I know, his expression is so priceless! Just this numbed consternation: “But then…what will the internet be for?”

  7. Stefan Jones says:

    Attention parents! With a simple upgrade, that porn filter can also be used to keep your child safe from satire, irony, atheism, writing which encourages value-destroying critical thinking, evidence of global warming and pictures of fossils.

  8. Mark Burban says:

    maybe every pc should be installed with an ‘off-shore tax evasion’ filter.. more good would come from that than any porn filter. 

  9. Sarge Misfit says:

    Can I get a Romnography filter on mine?

  10. soylent_plaid says:

    Mitt Romney, working hard to get Big Government out of your hair.  Your beautiful, well-oiled hair.

  11. Keith Tyler says:

    Is he at least promising pot in every chicken?

  12. Stonewalker says:

    As insane as this clip is, and as guttural a response it provoked in me (and should provoke in all thinking people), I want to remind everybody that this is taking place in context of national politics.  And national politics is a place where contenders abandon all person-hood and simply does what it takes to win the most votes – ALSO, we the voters have to abandon most of our own principles to make a tactically sound decision.  National politics is really far away from ethos and ethics, and I hope that BB readers understand that.

    OK, all that being said, now I’ll respond to that hurricane of shit that we just watched:
    -You can’t legislate morality.  Literally, it’s impossible.  And when people try to legislate morality, all they wind up doing is creating governmental authority which has the force of law to restrict the freedoms of individuals who don’t ‘fit in’ with the majority of voters.  So fuck Mitt, and anybody else who does this. This is evil.  This is wrong.  This is anti-human rights.

    That’s all.

    • malindrome says:

      What about kiddie porn?

      • retepslluerb says:

        Kiddie porn doesn’t need to get filtered, but tracked back and the people responsible for making or posting it need to get put before a judge.  No because it is pornography, but because producing it harms the children involved and allowing the publishing of the material fuels further production and is an ongoing violation.   A kind of reverse poisoned fruit doctrine. 

        • Paul Boudreaux says:

          And on that note, we swiftly legislated morality, and in fact – were happier about it. Protect our culture, but really really, none of us like those guys. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone in my family, particularly the children, involved or exposed to such things. I think I just came to understand Mittens a bit better. Forcing too dark of a network empowers the darker parts of the network. Bringing things to light means they can be treated. The drug war comes to mind.

  13. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    Glad to see that he is finally addressing the vital issues in our lives.

    I remember how the GOP used to claim to be the party against government regulations.  I think it was a month or so ago.

    • howaboutthisdangit says:

      They’re just against regulations which affect their own kind; rich, white, right-thinking Christians.  They’re more than happy to tell everyone else what to do.

  14. Bokonon says:

    Could you imagine if they really came up with a porn filter that was impenetrable.  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  15. MythicalMe says:

     Despite all the best efforts of law enforcement, (stick in your favorite vice) still exists. It’s all about supply and demand. If there is a demand for something someone will supply it, regardless of the consequences.

    I’m old enough to recall that following the oil shortages of the early 70′s that Congress designated all national highways to be 55 MPH. Most people hedged their bets that law enforcement wouldn’t bother stopping them at 60 MPH, even though they were breaking the law. Most states now have higher speed limits and many people don’t actually pay attention to the speed limit signs. The point is that laws that are neither enforced nor enforceable are just words on a page in some legislative journal. Effective laws are those that most people abide by.

    As for kiddie porn, I’m sure it exists and that some pedophiles do know where to find it.

  16. cdh1971 says:

    The thought has passed my mind (Romney protests too loudly & etc.)  

    Is there any evidence Mr. Romney is a  _Chicken Hawk_ ? 

    (Being into of-age younger guys isn’t necessarily bad, except when you’re a hypocritical, exploitive megalomaniac hell-bent on continental domination in the name of your religion.) 

    I guess in his case chicken hawky would be some sort of exploitive affair with a dude under, say, 45 or 50?

  17. Jonny Dee says:

    He probably also wants to ban Batman costumes but won’t go anywhere near the real damaging things like assault rifles and enough ammo to lay waste to a whole town

  18. Jason Carl says:

    To be fair that was from 2007 so maybe he’s changed his mind by now… he kinda does that a lot. 

  19. I don’t like chicken, but I do like Porn.

    Mitt is not the foreign President for me.

  20. realityhater says:

     who needs porn when your Fucking America !

  21. Aaron Swain says:

    I love the reaction shot at the clip. That fella looks worried about the future of porn.

  22. Quiche de Resistance says:

    It takes a tough man to make a tender legislation.  Keep fucking that chicken, Mitt.

    http://youtu.be/ss8LDBNcsWc

  23. Andy Marx says:

    And look what Apple is doing about porn: http://hollywoodandswine.com/apple-donates-computers-to-fred-willard-so-he-can-watch-porn-online-like-everyone-else/

    Good for them!

  24. P.F. Bruns says:

    I’m glad he’s promising this.  It will either derail his campaign completely, or possibly make him the first President named in a First Amendment lawsuit.  I’m not sure he’d be the defendant, but one could only hope.

    “The whole principle [of censorship] is wrong. It’s like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can’t have steak.” — Robert Heinlein “The Man Who Sold the Moon” p.188.  (Also frequently attributed to Mark Twain, but unsourced.)

  25. Quiche de Resistance says:

    This speech might not be his best, but it’s fair to note his staff only told him about this event with a few hours notice.  Knowing a speechwriter might not be available, he told his campaign managers “Fellas, I’m gonna lock myself alone in a room and rub one out.”

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