By Cory Doctorow at 2:16 pm Mon, Jul 23, 2012
In this 1945 Life ad, a giant baby exacts a vicious turnabout-is-fair-play revenge on his mother, who failed as a parent an a human being by using the wrong skin-care products on him.
Life, September 3, 1945
I hope it wouldn’t be indecorous to respond to this with a simple “wat.”
This must be one of those giant feral babies Wallace referred to in Infinite Jest.
You just can’t domesticate them.
I’m sure the LoA was in panic mode when this advert came out.
That’s what I came here for, wasn’t disappointed.
“Aye, m’lady. Rub this salve on the young’un. It’ll keep the giants’ blood in ‘im asleep. Remember, the blood of giants flows in all of us. Yer own dear mum knew this, and now you do. It’s the duty of all mums to keep the sleeping, ravening giants in us on the inside. If they rise, and devour the flesh of decent men, it’s all yer fault. If ye fail, just hope we burn ye at the stake before the giants get ye.”
I’m not sure what accent I was going for there.
Pirate who moved from an isolated valley in North Carolina to London’s East End at age 10 in 1690? At least that’s what I heard. If that’s the accent you intended you are quite the master. First time I have ever seen this accent written correctly.
BTW, the answer to your next question is. “Why yes, I am a time traveler.”
That’s no baby! He’s walking and talking… he’s 18 months if he’s a day. I say he should be toilet trained by now. No Johnson’s skin-care products for you!
Sure, you can toilet train an 18 month old, but why? Well, unless one actually loves lots and lots of “accidents”.
For us the Johnson’s products have been… well… crap. The diaper cream… took some time for me to realize that it was the cause of the rash (D’oh!). Shampoo… caused dry itchy scalp. Baby oil… caused itchiness. Sure, my daughter has sensitive skin, but I thought that was the point for using Johnson’s products, and lots of other products have worked just fine.
Worst. Twilight Zone. Ever.
It puts the lotion on the baby or it gets the hose again.
He didn’t even give her a blanket or a heartstring-tugging note – does this giant baby not know how these things are done?
He just wants to get back on that cool flying motorcycle.
No doubt from atomic bomb testing in the area where the kid was born.
My gramma used Jack Daniels on fussy babies.
Needs some angry monkeys. I can’t get too worked up about her plight without both the giant, pissed off toddler AND some angry monkeys threatening her simultaneously.
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