Comments on: Washington's King County voids marriage license between a person and a corporation

By: Eric Rucker

Eric Rucker — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 01:09:00 +0000

Unless they number highly enough that they have political power. Then you have to deal with them.

By: billstewart

billstewart — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 04:53:00 +0000

(1)(b) might be a problem also. Is she one of the stockholders of the corporation? That could be incestuous.

(Also, chances are that Corporate Person wasn’t 18 years old yet, so it was still a minor.)

(Hmmm, are corporations that aren’t 18 yet allowed to make binding contracts? There are some corporations that really need to grow up!)

By: billstewart

billstewart — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 04:45:00 +0000

Sorry, your corporation can’t join the military, because it’s not 18 years old yet.

And if it wants food stamps, it’s probably going to have to show Photo ID.

By: chellberty

chellberty — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 01:26:00 +0000

Lets make this happen. Who can we get on this? Wolfpac? Move to Amend?
http://www.wolf-pac.com/ http://movetoamend.org/

By: billstewart

billstewart — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:56:00 +0000

No, no, the problem was with Mergers and Acquisition Laws – Corporate Person was this cute little Subchapter S, and Ms. Vogel was a Sole Proprietor, and you just can’t mix the two types?

Really now, if Corporations are People Too, my friends, then aren’t Acquisitions forbidden by the 13th Amendment ban on slavery? And aren’t too many mergers tantamount to Cannibalism? I’m sorry, we just can’t have that sort of thing going on in our community! It’s a threat to the sanctity of Partnerships everywhere!

By: fuzzyfuzzyfungus

fuzzyfuzzyfungus — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 10:17:00 +0000

Only because they pay actual military substantially less than they pay contractors…

As long as Uncle Sam is paying well enough, corporate persons are so patriotic it hurts(their expendable employees, that is) about sending people into assorted dusty hellholes.

By: kP

kP — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 01:35:00 +0000

I was wondering when Wintermute would be getting involved, you know, to balance things out.

By: Mantissa128

Mantissa128 — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 00:04:00 +0000

Nice reference! I was thinking about that movie just the other day. Poor guy just wanted out of that box though, can’t blame him/her.

By: Matt Symonds

Matt Symonds — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 21:12:00 +0000

Appliantologists… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Token_of_My_Extreme

By: Nagurski

Nagurski — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:17:00 +0000

If she really loves the corporation she’ll wait for it until it turns 18 and has resolved its gender issues.

By: ImmutableMichael

ImmutableMichael — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:17:00 +0000

@lpo – three children later, I know these backwards. And the Stephen Fry, Judy Dench et al audiobooks are also perfect for long drives.

By: Ipo

Ipo — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 20:02:00 +0000

You like very clean piglets?

By: edkedz

edkedz — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:30:00 +0000

The trouble is that those far-right bible-thumpers even exist.
You can’t restrict your behaviour according to how they might react: fuck people like that.

By: edkedz

edkedz — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:28:00 +0000

Only one of those is a robot/android. Logan & Jessica were both just human, as was THX.

By: Lupus_Yonderboy

Lupus_Yonderboy — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 16:41:00 +0000

Maybe on the age front but Rei Toei definitely identifies as female so at least that’s not icky, right? I mean, it’s not like Rez wanted to marry Wintermute or anything that might go against traditional values.

By: kP

kP — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:54:00 +0000

Has he considered the Mercury Mistress?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI

By: kP

kP — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:45:00 +0000

Bad news for Rez & Rei Toei

By: tsts

tsts — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:24:00 +0000

In that case, can she adopt it and claim it as a dependent?

By: Bros

Bros — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:17:00 +0000

Where’s your first year logic. A corporation is neither male nor female, therefore there can be no marriage between a corporation and a male or female.

Also, was that corporation even old enough? Robbing the cradle, tsk tsk.

By: fuzzyfuzzyfungus

fuzzyfuzzyfungus — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:14:00 +0000

She obviously should have picked a more virile corporate partner.

Perhaps two birds could be killed with one stone… For too long, sperm banks have been fathering hundreds, even thousands, of children out of wedlock with women chosen almost indiscriminately, refusing to support, or even acknowledge, their endless crop of bastards. In the interests of family values, I think we can all agree that it would strengthen the institution of marriage in this great nation, and help reverse our moral decline, if such slutty corporate persons were to settle down and get married.

By: TWX

TWX — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:13:00 +0000

I donno, it worked for Logan 5, Jessica 6, THX1138, Tasha Yar and Data, a whole slew of others…

By: Lemoutan

Lemoutan — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 14:21:00 +0000

Yup. Exactly what I was concerned about. Cf also Fritz Weaver + Julie Christie in Demon Seed – the offspring of corporation plus human if ever there was.

By: Mantissa128

Mantissa128 — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:45:00 +0000

I think it means the corporation would have to be... fully functional. Edit: audio is NSFW, albeit hilarious.

By: flan59

flan59 — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:36:00 +0000

C’mon man! Corporations are people too! It’s just that they are gender nuetral so it screws with the whole man and woman thing, but as Romney said, corporations ARE people, right?

By: Ike Dahlinger

Ike Dahlinger — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 13:18:00 +0000

I wonder if they got to consummate the marriage…

By: Greggem

Greggem — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 12:35:00 +0000

RCW 26.04.020
(1) Marriages in the following cases are prohibited:
     (a) When either party thereto has a wife or husband living at the time of such marriage;

(b) When the husband and wife are nearer of kin to each other than
second cousins, whether of the whole or half blood computing by the
rules of the civil law; or
     (c) When the parties are persons other than a male and a female.

So I guess that (1)(c) would apply to prohibit this marriage. Interestingly, it appears that it is going to be repealed. I believe the bill has already been passed, but hasn’t gone into effect yet.

By: Andrew Singleton

Andrew Singleton — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 11:57:00 +0000

Not sure how but I keep envisioning the joke here about the building said corporation built being a jail.

By: Andrew Singleton

Andrew Singleton — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 11:55:00 +0000

What about that guy in Knoxville that wanted to marry his car?

By: retepslluerb

retepslluerb — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 11:49:00 +0000

I bet if you drafted corporations and send them to $WHATEVER_COUNTRY_THE_USA_LIBERATES_NEXT, they’d fight that status.

By: ImmutableMichael

ImmutableMichael — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 10:16:00 +0000

Not even if she becomes Valentina Pty Ltd.